Guilt-Free Homeschooling

Teaching the Satisfaction of a Job Well Done

2009-11-03T15:16:00.001-06:00

Have you ever noticed that cooking is much easier to do if the counters are clear, and the dishwasher and dish drainer are empty? I think a clean kitchen is a pleasure to be in and to work in. A sparkling clean bathroom makes me feel more like I'm vacationing in a nice hotel room than enduring yet another ordinary day at home. When my family all pitched in, and we cleaned the house super-fast for short-notice visitors, I always marveled aloud at how nice it looked! I wanted my helpers to feel appreciated, but I also wanted them to focus on what they had accomplished and enjoy the fruits of their labors.

The big question on your mind may be how to get your children to pitch in and help. Should you bribe them? If you routinely reward them, will they always expect some tangible payment for helping? And would a regular reward really be any different from a bribe? A bribe is something promised in advance in order to obtain a desired result. A true reward should be a surprise given after the fact as a bonus for desirable behavior.

I gave my children occasional rewards for cooperation and patient endurance after a grueling day of errands or shopping. You did a great job of helping without whining or complaining, so now you can pick out a treat! Usually, the rewards were simple things like a candy bar or a small toy, nothing to break the budget, but enough to say Thanks -- you're appreciated! At other times, when our children mentioned a more expensive item they might like to save up for, we made them a surprise gift of it, as another unexpected reward for being a good, cooperative, and helpful member of the family on a regular basis.

My kids tidied up their own bedrooms as one of their normal duties, but about once each year I would help each of them with a thorough overhaul. We went through all of their clothing, culling the outgrown or damaged things. We deep-cleaned the closets and corners that usually got ignored. We rearranged the furniture to suit their latest whim or growing-up needs. That much work often took more than a single day, but when we were finished, I had helped each child see the benefits of all our progress: more floor space for playing board games, new bookshelves for organization, or a desk in their bedroom for a private work space. Many of the decisions along the way were left up to the child in question, so that they had a true sense of ownership in the reorganization process, and along with that came the satisfaction of having things the way they wanted them. Yes, sometimes it is difficult to part with a favorite shirt when the child can still get into it (sort of), but the feeling of moving on to a few new clothes (and making some new memories) will be well worth it. Completing this laborious task should be marked by several moments of admiration and recognizing the satisfaction in a job well done.

There is satisfaction to be found in even mundane tasks. Emptying the kitchen trash can is hardly anyone's favorite job, but once it has been done, it is much easier to toss the next item in! Nothing falls out and slithers to the floor, you don't have to cram the pile down to make room for anything else, and you won't be reminded (again) that the trash still needs to be emptied, and it is still your turn to do it.

We moms often find ourselves expending all sorts of energy to get tasks done, but we need to save a little of that energy for praising the job well done and bestowing our satisfaction in the accomplished task. You worked a long time on that! It feels good, doesn't it, to have it finally done! And you did a good job, too -- I can tell that you put a lot of effort into your work! Who wouldn't like to hear that? Even when no one else had helped me with my own large or time-consuming tasks, sometimes I still exclaimed aloud over a finished job and expressed how nice it looked or felt to have it completed, just to inspire my children to look for satisfaction in the completion of their own tasks.

You can bribe a student to complete a lesson on time (or ahead of time), or you can surprise them with a reward for the lessons they finish quickly under their own motivation. The latter will be less stressful and more beneficial to all involved. When the child is surprised with a reward, he feels satisfaction at knowing his accomplishment was appreciated by others. When he has been bribed, he feels relief that the distasteful task is now out of his life and (perhaps) a greedy glee that he tricked someone else into paying him to do said distasteful task. A student who learns to enjoy satisfaction as its own reward does not need constant tangible gifts, as the object of bribery does. Teach your children to find satisfaction in doing their best and completing their tasks in a timely manner. It will be a lesson they carry with them for the rest of their lives.

Why Does Math Class Take SO LONG?

2009-09-24T15:39:00.004-05:00

Homeschooling families often have this lament: My child takes f-o-r-e-v-e-r to do math each day! Can anything be done??? Let's consider for a moment exactly what the student is being asked to do, to see if we can understand why it takes so much time. (Please note: I will use he/him/his as generic pronouns; all of this applies equally to girls and boys.)

Beginning students are learning the fine art of manipulating numbers to learn the processes of adding, subtracting, multiplying, dividing, and learning new number-languages called fractions, decimals, percentages, measurements, and on and on. You, the parent/teacher, are probably performing calculations with a minimum of fifteen to twenty years' experience, quite likely much more. What seems incredibly plain and simple to you may in reality be incredibly confusing to your student.

Nearly every math lesson will present the student with a new concept, or at least an expansion of a previously learned concept. This means that the student must 1) study the new idea to grasp its meaning, 2) compare this new information to his previous knowledge to see how they relate to each other, 3) experiment with a few sample problems to test out the new concept and prove his understanding of it, 4) proceed to complete the remainder of the lesson's required problem set, which may include both problems from today's new concept and problems from previously learned lessons as review material. Steps 1-3 can be prolonged and repeated through discussions with the teacher (you) to insure that the student understands the new material fully. Examples may be drawn on paper, chalkboard, or whiteboard. Manipulatives may be used for grouping and regrouping. Graphs, charts, geometric figures, angles, and other mathematical illustrations may be incorporated. Teaching a math lesson in a way that your student will understand it completely can take time. Once the lesson has been understood, the student must mentally review the concepts again with each problem to make sure he understands the process as he is working his way through all of the day's assigned problems.

In contrast, a grammar lesson may ask the student to write a sentence using an action verb, and the student looking for shortcuts may respond with "Jim sat." It has a subject and a verb, it shows action, and it meets all the requirements. However, math requires exactness. There are few, if any, shortcuts to be taken in math. Mathematical calculations have concrete solutions: one and only one answer. Every operation must be exact, every digit must be accurate, and every calculation must be done completely, in order for the outcome to be correct.
4321
+765
___6 Wrong. Shortcuts do not work in math.

Some may argue that calculators provide shortcuts, but I will counter that calculators should not be used until higher math, and then only as a time-saving device by the student who is fully capable of doing the work accurately without the aid of a calculator. In the words of my favorite college math teacher, "[Calculators] are stupid. They are machines that can only do exactly what you tell them to do." The student who accidentally pushes the wrong button will get the wrong answer. I know. I did it. On a final exam. My paper showed that I had executed the problem correctly, but in my haste to complete the problem quickly, I hit the wrong button on a very, very, very simple calculation and achieved the wrong final answer. My gracious teacher gave me partial credit for using the correct process, but his point was made forever that using a calculator does not automatically provide success. Every keystroke must be verified by an alert mind. My haste ruined what would have been a perfect score on my final -- disappointing, to say the least.

Back when I was plugging my way through elementary math, I had a teacher who required perfection, not merely correctness. She was a bitter old shrew of a woman who had been encouraged to stay in a classroom long past her prime and had lost all compassion for the children placed under her authoritative control; but I digress. A math problem can be solved correctly without perfectly formed digits or immaculately aligned numbers, and the existence of erasure marks on the paper has little to do with the accuracy (or inaccuracy) of the answers. When my children began doing math problems that included multiple columns of numbers, I bought them spiral notebooks of graph paper to use for their daily assignments. They could write one digit in each quarter-inch box, and the boxes kept the digits perfectly aligned. My students could focus on the place values as they copied the numbers for the problems, and then successfully solve the equation without being sidetracked by wondering if a wayward digit rightfully belonged in the tens' column or the hundreds' column.

Math is a sequential subject: each lesson builds upon each lesson before it. If foundational skills have been rushed and are not fully understood, each subsequent lesson will become harder and harder to grasp. Do not push your youngsters to make progress in math simply for the sake of turning pages. Be certain that each student knows what he is doing before allowing him to move on to the next concept. However, many enjoyable games and activities can be used to reinforce math concepts and provide practice with fun -- and using math means learning math, even if you are playing a game and having fun.

Let's focus for a moment on your particular student. Does his learning style allow him to absorb new information easily when he reads it the first time? Or does your student benefit from an oral discussion with you and some Q & A about the subject matter? Perhaps your student is more hands-on and doesn't really get the concept until he can play with some math manipulatives, moving them around, grouping and regrouping, sorting and re-sorting, counting and recounting? (That's why they're called "manipulatives," by the way, because you can manipulate them.) And let's not forget that kinesthetic student whose brain goes numb when his seat makes contact with the chair's seat -- he may need to be on his feet, stretching his muscles through every minute of his math lesson, but that physical action guarantees that his brain is revved up and tuned in -- not at all what classroom models need you to believe. A student whose learning style is not being utilized will be a student who is easily distracted from the subject at hand. Touch his learning style and you will gain his attention.

One last consideration is the amount of work set forth in your student's textbook. All textbooks are not created equal, and especially not math texts. The number of problems required with each day's lesson may change from day to day in certain books, and it will surely change from year to year, but it especially changes from publisher to publisher. When my high school student was using a math textbook that assigned 30 problems per day, her friends' math textbook from a different publisher assigned 100 problems per day for the same grade level. I repeat: All textbooks are not created equal, and especially not math texts. Our book's daily 30-problem set offered a variety of problems, using a method of continual review over past concepts. The 100-problems-per-day book offered no such variety: all 100 problems were of the exact same type. Is it any wonder that students can become bored and tired of doing math?

Math does take time. Math will probably be the subject that eats up the largest segment of your homeschool day. However, if your student is sitting idly, hour after hour, staring at a math lesson but not completing it, there are most likely several causes at work.

1) A lack of foundational arithmetic skills. A child who cannot recognize specific digits for their representative amounts cannot perform addition. A child who does not know addition facts cannot perform subtraction or progress on to multiplication. A child who does not know multiplication facts cannot perform division. A child who does not know multiplication facts will not fully understand fractions and, therefore, will also not understand decimals, percentages, or measurements.

2) The student has not understood the lesson concepts or is confused by them. This is often due to the student's learning style. This is not a disability, just a difference in how each of us takes in and processes information. Some people take in information through their eyes, some through their ears, others through their fingers, and still others through their larger muscles of arms and legs. Seriously. Touch his learning style and you will grab his attention.

3) The textbook may be too aggressive (moving too quickly for the student's pace) or just plain too boring in how it presents the material. While much of math is often taught through drill, drill, drill, I do not know anyone who would choose to learn anything through repetitive and boring drills if there was a more interesting alternative available.

Allow enough teaching time and a variety of teaching methods to be sure your student understands each lesson concept completely. Allow your student to talk things out, work with manipulatives, or run a lap after every problem to keep his muscles-to-brains connection engaged. Allow your restless student to take breaks while working his math problems, knowing that you, too, would break up a long and tedious task into shorter segments, if it did not hold your rapt attention. Math does take time, but the flexibility of Guilt-Free Homeschooling allows you to conquer it with the methods that work best for your family.

For more tips, see also --

Looking for the "Hard Part"

10 Fun Math Exercises from a BINGO Game

Sugar Cube Math

Alternate Methods for Teaching Math

and the Topical Index sections for Math and Learning Styles

Meet a Homeschooling Family

2009-09-17T13:58:00.002-05:00

The Frugal Homeschooling Mom, Deana Hipwell, is tackling the daunting task of introducing homeschooling families to each other -- lots of families. Her blog feature, A Common Bond: Meet a Homeschooling Family, offers a quick look into the motivations and methods of various homeschoolers. This is a great way to get to know a little bit about how and why others are homeschooling, and Deana invites all readers to share their own stories through her blog. C'mon and introduce yourself! The currently featured family is... mine!

10 Ways to Improve a Lesson

2009-09-10T16:00:00.002-05:00

Sometimes we all need help teaching a lesson. The lesson may be too confusing, too short, or just plain boring. Your student may need a more complete explanation or just want to delve more deeply into the subject. You may need to expand the lesson to include an activity to fit your student's learning style. No matter what the reason, here are a few suggestions for how to improve a lesson.

Make it bigger. -- Suppose your child is learning fractions, and the book's diagrams are rather small. Draw similar diagrams using an entire sheet of paper for each one -- sometimes bigger IS better! Simple drawings and diagrams do not demand precision: children are good at pretending, and they can pretend along with you that your drawing is accurate.
Take it outside. -- Fresh air and elbow room can improve anyone's ability to think. Even reading a favorite storybook outdoors can give it new perspective.
Add color. -- Say good-bye to black-and-white; say hello to understanding. Use colored pencils or markers, highlighters, construction paper, or colored index cards. For example, write each step of a complicated math problem in a different color to help clarify the progression.
Add texture. -- Go beyond flat and give your fingertips a chance to enjoy themselves. Form ABC's with Play-Doh, cut letters out of sandpaper, or draw with chalk on the sidewalk.
Let your student play with it. -- Exploration is the birthplace of genius. Go beyond the lesson plan and indulge your student with his own session of free experimentation, whether with math manipulatives, Scrabble letter tiles, vinegar and baking soda, etc. Playing is learning.
Add more details. -- Why strain to understand a single example, when ten examples will make it crystal clear? Suppose your child is trying to learn the letter A; show the child many examples of what A looks like, from several ABC books, from newspaper headlines, on packages in your pantry; draw A with crayons and markers, in shaving cream smeared on a window, in dry cornmeal poured in a baking pan; arrange small items into an A shape: pennies, pipe cleaners, pencils, building blocks, toy cars, fingers, etc. -- after all of these examples, your child will better understand how to recognize an A!
Discuss it. -- Skip the one-sided lecture and the interrogation-style Q & A session; try an open and honest give-and-take, valuing your student's opinions, reactions, and ideas. How would you react if those opinions were coming from your friend, instead of from your child?
Build it. -- Cardboard, scissors, and tape are the stuff that feeds imagination. Projects don't have to be constructed well enough to last forever, just long enough to illustrate the concept.
Research it (together). -- Expand two great minds at the same time. The teacher doesn't always have to know the answers before the student does -- your student will develop new respect for you as he sees you willing to learn with him.
Make it personal. -- Use a personal application to your student's own life, activities, or possessions, and he'll never forget it. Instead of math manipulatives, use the student's building blocks, toy cars, baseball cards, Barbie doll shoes, etc.

The specific examples given above might be either too simple or too advanced for your current needs, but you can adapt them to your student's situation. Even if you think some of these ideas may not help with your particular struggles, dare to give them a try anyway. You may be pleasantly surprised at the results!

It's Carnival Time!

2009-08-18T09:37:00.002-05:00

This week's Carnival of Homeschooling is hosted by the delightful Juggling Paynes of Home Spun Juggling. The very appropriate theme they have chosen is The Juggling Workshop. Drop by the Carnival and pick up some great homeschooling tips along with their tips on juggling. (I've always wanted to learn how to juggle -- I wonder if they can help me?)

Updated Learning Style Pages

2009-08-17T12:09:00.001-05:00

Some of our information on Learning Styles has just been updated (giving you a sneak peak at the new book I am working on).

See the new pages here:
Auditory Learners
Kinesthetic Learners
Tactile Learners
Visual Learners

Back to Homeschool with New Ideas

2009-08-13T10:41:00.003-05:00

Back to School signs are everywhere. The stores are stocked with new boxes of crayons, new notebooks, and new backpacks. If you are not quite ready for the next semester to begin, it may be because you feel insufficiently prepared for it yourself. Where are the new school supplies for you -- maybe some new coping skills, a new supply of encouragement, and a new box of ideas?

If you are a First-Time Homeschooler and are beginning with a preschooler or Kindergartner, these articles contain the coping skills you need for this new task ahead of you.

For those of you who are Leaving Public School to begin homeschooling, the following articles will give you a generous dose of encouragement.

Perhaps you have been teaching your own children for a while now, but feel that you are Stuck in a Homeschool Rut. Here are some fresh ideas to break the boredom and put a little life into your tedious routine.

Maybe you have just "hit the wall." You've come to the end of yourself, and you don't know where to turn next. You love the idea of homeschooling, but you just can't find one more lesson inside yourself.

No matter what your homeschooling status, be assured that you are not alone. Guilt-Free Homeschooling is here to help you with a comforting hug, a large dose of encouragement, a bonus scoop of confidence, and answers to your questions. Let's have a great year together!

100 Best Blogs for Christian Moms

2009-07-27T09:23:00.002-05:00

The folks at the Online Christian Colleges blog have named Guilt-Free Homeschooling one of 100 Best Blogs for Christian Moms. Listed under the category, Best Blogs for Christian Moms who Homeschool, GFHS ranks #71. This list is very intriguing! I found a few blogs I was well acquainted with, along with several new-to-me blogs that I am anxious to check out. Some listings are denomination-specific, and others are more general categories, such as the links for Christian radio stations that offer family-focused programming (both online and local broadcasts). THANK YOU to the Online Christian Colleges blog for including GFHS. We are honored!

Sugar Cube Math

2009-07-15T17:00:00.015-05:00

Are you looking for some fun activities to keep your students' math skills sharp over the summer break? Do your students need help to achieve mastery of math concepts? Sugar cubes can provide just what you need! One of these activities each week may be enough to boost their math thinking skills, but your students just might want to keep playing and experimenting on their own!

A friend once asked me how I used sugar cubes in math. She had visualized the children just eating the sugar and becoming too hyper for any actual learning! Math manipulatives are nothing more than little things used to illustrate a math lesson, and sugar cubes are fairly inexpensive things that just happen to come in perfect little cube shapes, making them ideal for stacking. However, sugar cubes must be handled with some special care to get them past more than one lesson: do not expose them to moisture (not even wet fingers) and keep them on a jelly-roll pan (large cookie sheet with sides) to collect the crumbs of sugar that will inevitably fall off. Handle the cubes gently to prevent crushing them, but do not be too alarmed when a few of the cubes crumble no matter how gently you touch them. (Life is like that: some of us just can't take as much pressure as others can.) When lesson time is over, your students can carefully place the sugar cubes back into their box to use them again another day. You will probably want to reserve these sugar cubes for math lessons only -- they can become a little too soiled with repeated handling for plunking into your morning coffee! The following suggestions will work with any cube-shaped objects (Cuisenaire Rod 1-units, ABC blocks, dice, etc.), as long as all of the cubes are the same size. A box or two of sugar cubes provides a large number of identical cubes for a small investment, and their plain white sides allow the student to focus on the cubes as units, rather than on any decorative details.

Stack them up, pile them up, square up the piles and see how much fun you can have building walls and tiny forts with sugar cubes. Make checkerboard designs or pyramids. Lessons can be much more than boring drill, and you can learn from play! Below are some more structured lessons to try after a free play session. Some parents may need to do these experiments with their children; other parents may need to get out of the way and just let their child experiment to his heart's content!

Addition is very simply illustrated through counting the total number of cubes that results from combining this group of cubes with that group of cubes. Take this operation to its next logical level and un-do the addition of cubes for a simplified lesson in subtraction. A student who can see that subtraction is nothing more than backwards addition will not be confused into thinking that subtraction is a new and confusing mathematical concept. Illustrate how addition and subtraction are linked together by discussing both concepts with one set of math facts: 2 cubes in this group plus 3 cubes in that group equals 5 cubes all together: 2 + 3 = 5. Therefore, taking 3 cubes away from 5 cubes leaves us with 2 cubes again: 5 - 3 = 2. Switch the numbers around to show that 3 + 2 also equals 5, and 5 - 2 = 3. Experimenting with just those 5 cubes, the student will quickly see that 1 + 4 = 2 + 3, and so on. Repeat these experiments with other groupings of cubes, always focusing on undoing the addition to prove that the subtraction facts are just another way to state the matching addition facts.

An important part of math is learning about prime numbers. Start with just 1 cube and by adding 1 more cube at a time, we will experiment with making different arrangements of the cubes. Any number of cubes that can make only 1 row is called a prime number -- it has multiplication factors of only itself and 1. (One by itself does not count as a prime, because it has no factors at all -- it's just one.)

If you have arranged cubes into two equal rows, that means you have at least 4 cubes. Those can be arranged into 1 row of 4 cubes (or 4 rows of 1 cube each), or 2 rows of 2 cubes each. These are also the multiplication factors of 4: 1 x 4, 4 x 1, and 2 x 2.

Add 2 more cubes, 1 to each row, for a total of 6 cubes. Those can also be arranged into 1 row of 6 cubes (or 6 rows of 1 cube each) or 2 rows of 3 cubes each. Now rearrange the cubes into 3 rows of 2 cubes each to prove that 2 x 3 makes the same size and shape of rectangle as 3 x 2, but just turned the other direction.

Add 2 more cubes, for a total of 8 cubes. Arrange these into 1 row of 8 cubes, then 2 rows of 4 cubes each, and also 4 rows of 2 cubes each. Factors of 8 are: 1 x 8, 2 x 4, 4 x 2, 8 x 1.

So far, an odd number of cubes has not been able to make any even arrangement of rows except for 1 row of cubes. Add 1 more cube to your grouping, for a total of 9 cubes. This is the first odd number that has other factors besides itself and 1: 1 x 9, 9 x 1, and 3 x 3. Arrange the 9 cubes into 3 rows of 3 cubes each.

Show your student that his experiments have now proved that an odd number times an even number equals an even number (3 x 2 = 6). An even number times an even number equals an even number (2 x 4 = 8), and an odd number times an odd number equals an odd number (3 x 3 = 9). Those principles will remain true no matter which odd or even numbers are used -- encourage your student to experiment with his sugar cubes to prove this fact.

As the child continues adding more cubes and rearranging them into factor groups, have him make a list of the factors for each number, seeing how many different ways each number can be factored. Which number (of the ones he has tried so far) has the most factors? Multiplication is nothing more than a short-cut to addition, and multiplying can save a lot of time that would be spent adding. Multiplying with bigger numbers will be much faster than adding those numbers over and over and over.division. Take a random number of sugar cubes and arrange them into rows. Can you make several rows with an equal number of cubes in each row, or do you end up with a few leftover cubes? Try several different arrangements of rows and numbers of cubes in each row. Keep trying until 1) you can come out with a square or rectangular arrangement with no leftovers, or 2) you prove that you have a prime number of sugar cubes, with no other factors than this number and 1. Whether you are multiplying or dividing, the factors remain the same -- proving that division is just un-doing multiplication. The only difference is that when dividing, sometimes you can end up with a few leftovers, called the remainder.

Area is basically the same as a set of factors. It can also be thought of as floor tiles by looking straight down on top of the cubes so that only their tops can be seen. By moving the cubes around, the student can demonstrate how 1 x 12, 2 x 6, 3 x 4, 4 x 3, 6 x 2, and 12 x 1 all have the same area (they all use exactly 12 cubes). Area of a square or rectangle is determined by multiplying two connecting sides together, just like the two factors.

Perimeter can be related to how many sections of "fence" it would take to go around the outside of a certain area. The cubes' edges can be counted as individual fence sections for an easy way to prove how many fence sections are required. Notice that each corner-cube has two exposed edges for fences. Perimeter is usually determined by adding the totals of the sides together, but multiplication can be used as a shortcut for perfect rectangles: 2 times the shorter side, plus 2 times the longer side. (Note that in a single row of cubes, the cube at each end will have 3 exposed sides to be counted.)

Experiment with various arrangements of the same group of cubes and compare the area to the perimeter. Can you change the perimeter without changing the area? What is the largest or the smallest perimeter you can make while keeping the same area?

Volume can be thought of as area in several levels. First, think of area as being a flat concept, like floor tiles, and volume being a 3-dimensional concept, like the solid sugar cubes. Arrange 2 rows of 3 cubes each, making an area of 6. Now arrange 6 more cubes in exactly the same pattern. If you stack one group on top of the other group, you can easily see 2 layers of 6 cubes each. Two rows times 3 cubes times 2 layers equals a volume of 12 cubes: 2 x 3 x 2 = 12. Try this with other groups. Multiply to find the volume: the number of rows times the number of cubes in each row equals the area of that layer. Now multiply the area times the number of layers to find the volume. How many more cubes does it take to increase the total volume of the stack of cubes?

Once your student has mastered calculating volume, combine it with measurements. Have him measure the side of one sugar cube, and then substitute that measurement in his calculations of perimeter, area, and volume. Now have him measure the sides of the large stack of sugar cubes to see if his calculations were correct. Substitute 1 inch for the measurement: if the sugar cubes measured 1 inch on each side, how large would the stack be now? How large would a stack be with 10 layers of 10 rows of 10 sugar cubes in each row? How about a stack that had 100 cubes each direction? How about 1,000? Or a million? Or a billion? (This leads directly into the study of exponents, because a square of x-number of sugar cubes is x² and a cube of x-number of sugar cubes is x³.) How many sugar cubes would it take to make a large cube (all 3 sides equal) the approximate size of a card table? Or as tall as your house? Or as wide as a football field? Your students may need to use a calculator to check their math on these problems, but getting to use the calculator is their reward for having fun with math!

By the time your student has completed all of the activities listed above, he has probably also thought of some other activities to try with the sugar cubes. Try them--experimenting is how we learn!

Why Choose Homeschooling?

2009-05-15T12:40:00.002-05:00

When the tomatoes at your local market are less than desirable, you may start looking elsewhere for your produce. No one intentionally shops for tomatoes that are unripe, hard, and green, or worse, bruised and blemished. If the supermarket produce is less than satisfactory, consumers may turn to a specialty grocer, the weekly farmer's market, or start their own garden plot at home in the backyard or in a few pots on the patio or balcony.

A similar phenomenon is happening with education. Consumers (parents), who have become dissatisfied with the educational product of the mainstream schools, are turning to other means for their children's academics, including the do-it-yourself method, homeschooling.

My husband and I turned to homeschooling because of health reasons: our daughter suffered from migraine headaches, and the school nurse didn't believe us or our doctors. My daughter's frequent absences were a problem with the school's administration, although her grades never slipped, since I was able to tutor her at home and keep her on track with the rest of the students. Meanwhile, I had noticed that the classroom's progress was not ideal. The teacher got important concepts wrong and was unable to teach critical math skills. This ineffectual teaching forced us to take matters into our own hands. Literally. I do not have a teaching degree, but I quickly realized that I could certainly do no worse than our local elementary school was already doing.

Our reasons for homeschooling are not unique. A survey of homeschooling families today would reveal many who are motivated by their children's health concerns or special needs issues. Another, larger group would say they are dissatisfied with the quality of education provided by today's schools, both public and private. Those parents who are re-teaching the material to their child every night, as I was, cannot help but see that they are already the primary educator of that child; they just have the worst time slot of the day in which to do it. Classroom size and the related student-to-teacher ratios, the disappearance of fine arts programs, and sex and violence in the schools are sub-topics of the "quality of education" issue.

A few more families would list flexibility as their primary reason for choosing homeschooling: students can pursue a variety of individual activities, while still maintaining their academic endeavors. Today's homeschooled students may very well be tomorrow's Olympic champions or symphony musicians, since the freedom of a homeschool schedule allows more time to focus on one's passions. Childcare concerns, changes in the job market, and relocation of the family also depend on the flexibility of homeschooling to help families maintain stability during lifestyle changes.

Some families opt for homeschooling after the government schools have failed to meet their students' needs. Some families are able to decide before preschool (or even sooner) that they want to keep their children at home for school. Some families homeschool for only a year or two, while others prefer home education from preschool through high school and even on into college-at-home. The duration is determined by the family's preference, just as the methods and materials used are also each family's choice.

I am often asked about the benefits of homeschooling, a difficult question simply because of the vast range of its answers. First and foremost, I see the improved relationship of the family as the chief benefit, even before any academic advantages are considered. Parents and children bond as teacher and students in a way that non-homeschooling families just cannot understand. The freedom and flexibility of the homeschooling schedule allow for spontaneous family activities, all of which have educational benefits, whether obvious (or intended) or not. That relaxed schedule is a tremendous boon to most families -- the opportunity to do things in whatever order or method works best for each family and each student (which, incidentally, is the philosophy of Guilt-Free Homeschooling: homeschooling should be comfortable, relaxed, and fit your family's lifestyle).

The one-on-one attention that homeschooling provides is far superior to any classroom. Even large families are able to provide individual attention to each student when he needs it, along with the training in independent learning, which prepares homeschooled students for handling college classes (and life in general) on their own. Parents of special needs students find that no teacher, no matter how well trained, can know the student or love the student as well as the parent can. The parent who has lived with the special needs child 24/7 since birth understands more and at a deeper level than a teacher who is hired to cover seven hours a day, five days a week, nine months of the year.

Homeschooling is extremely popular with conservative Christian families, although it is practiced by families of every religious and political persuasion. Besides the reasons of academic excellence and personalization, homeschooling allows families to emphasize their own philosophies and worldviews. Government-mandated curricula are often based on evolutionary principles, which are diametrically opposed to Creationists' beliefs. Homeschooling allows these families to use materials that support their beliefs, such as that life is sacred and a precious gift from God, the Creator. Government-funded schools do not allow prayer and do not teach the Bible, even as literature, although many anti-Christian religious philosophies and practices are now showing up in those same schools under the guise of "diversity." Families for whom personal Christianity is the guiding force in their lives want to see their children educated with God-centered principles, a Creationist viewpoint, and a Biblical worldview. They will not accept submitting their children to antithetical teaching day in and day out.

Homeschooling is not a fad, although some people treat it as such. Public schools, sponsored by a government, are the "new kid on the block." Personal tutoring had been the educational standard for centuries, until the time of the American Civil War, when it became fashionable to apply industrial methods to education by grouping local children together for academic efficiency. The homeschooling movement, in general, is providing a return to excellence and individuality in education, a return to a focus on the family as an institution in society, and a return to individual responsibility as a primary duty of citizenship. In this postmodern era, some old-fashioned homeschooling is just what this world needs.

Are You an "Over-Protective" Mom?

2009-04-29T14:20:00.004-05:00

I hear this from concerned, young moms all the time: "My friends tell me I'm an over-protective Mom." I suspect your friends are wrong. What you are is a Mom -- period. You should not be penalized or chastised for simply doing your job to the best of your ability. Neither should you lower your standards to match those of your acquaintances who may have chosen to offer their children on the sacrificial altar of peer pressure.

How many people would consider the following to be over-protective?

Mom wants to have a say in what her child is taught.
Mom wants to have a say in when he is taught it.
Mom wants to have a say in what friends her child associates with.
Mom wants to have a say in when he associates with them.
Mom wants to have a say in what type of food her child eats.
Mom wants her child to avoid substances that will cause him to suffer allergic reactions.
Mom wants her child to be safe from harmful substances.
Mom wants her child to be safe from harmful influences.
Mom wants her child to be safe from harmful situations.
Mom wants her child's needs to be met in a reasonable manner and time period.
Mom wants her child to know unrestrained love.

Just in case you are not sure how to answer the above question, let me broaden the subject a little bit. Suppose that instead of talking about an ordinary Mom, we are discussing the owner of a business:

The employer insists that his staff members learn to do their projects to his standards.
The employer insists that his staff members complete their projects according to his schedule.
The employer insists on hiring only staff members who exhibit a work ethic similar to his own.
The employer insists on establishing safety regulations and further insists that all employees follow those regulations.
The employer insists on approving the production materials that are used.
The employer insists on exercising his right to reward superior performance.

Essentially, a Mom performs all the same general functions that a business owner does, but the businessman is usually praised by his peers for his efforts to achieve excellence in productivity. The Mom is, unfortunately, scolded by her peers as being over-protective.

Where the employer may be seen as caring and compassionate, Mom is considered "smothering."
Where an employer may be considered efficient, Mom is called "dictatorial."
When an employer chooses high standards to produce an excellent product, a Mom, doing exactly the same thing for the same reasons, is often regarded as "too picky" and "a perfectionist."

Moms, take a good, long, serious look at your principles and your standards and your reasons for choosing them. If those standards and principles were applied in a business setting, would they be praised by your customers and envied by your competitors? If your methods would be lauded for their excellence by the business world, then you can tell your critics to go find someone else to harass, because you will no longer be listening to them. (Then walk away with your fingers in your ears to prove that they have lost their audience.)

As just another Mom myself, I understand that caring Moms are not trying to control their universe; they are simply trying to do what is best for their children's well-being. No sane mother wants to see her child kept isolated on a silken pillow as an object of adoration. On the contrary, mothers have hopes and dreams and aspirations for whatever level of success each child will attain, and every sane mother knows that this success cannot be achieved without hard work. Hard work means struggles, and those struggles come from encountering difficulties. Therefore, mothers actually want their children to confront and overcome certain difficulties, since that means that they are on the road to success.

Our job as Moms means that we act as road maps, traffic cops, crossing guards, and travel guides to help our children learn where to go, how to go, when it will be safe to go there, and how to get around once they arrive. Anyone who sees that as being "over-protective" is in the same category as those who feel automotive seat belts, traffic lights, and speed limits are "restrictive" infringements on their self-expression.

A caring Mom keeps her children from being side-tracked away from the truly important issues. A diligent Mom keeps her children moving in the proper direction and at a pace appropriate to the circumstances. A conscientious Mom is not being over-protective: she is doing her job and doing it well. Go, then, and do your job as a Mom, raising your children to the best of your ability. You have my approval.

If you enjoyed this article, you may also enjoy Standing Up Against "The Lie".

Carnival of Homeschooling

2009-04-21T22:20:00.002-05:00

This week's Carnival of Homeschooling is hosted by The Common Room. Kudos to this family for stepping in at the last moment to undertake the immense job of hosting! This Carnival is a great look-back at their homeschool beginnings alongside posts from today's homeschool bloggers.

To readers who are visiting GFHS for the first time, via the Carnival -- Welcome! We think you'll like it here!

Preschool Is Not Brain Surgery

2009-04-17T15:13:00.004-05:00

I have tackled the topic of homeschooling older students while you have preschoolers around several times before, but I've never yet directly addressed homeschooling for preschool itself, especially when preschool marks the official beginning of schooling for your oldest child. This changes now: I am here to encourage you that you can teach your own child for preschool. You do not need an advanced degree in education to be able to effectively teach your child at home for preschool.

I have prepared a list of things that my children and I did during their preschool years that cover all of the types of activities and subjects your child will need to prepare them for their future academics. These activities may be done in any order, corresponding to your child's interests and abilities. Progress according to your child's abilities: if your child has difficulty understanding any given concept, set it aside for two weeks or two months while you do other activities and see what a difference that makes. Pick it up again later, or set it aside a second time, if necessary. All children learn at different rates, just like they begin to walk or talk or get teeth at different times. Faster or slower is not better, it's just different.

Multiple activities can be done each day, if it works with your schedule and with your child's interests. Fifteen minutes at a time may be adequate for the average preschooler, but the child may enjoy several of these short sessions throughout the day. Focus on only one activity at each session, but if your child is really enjoying the activity, you can let him continue playing with it after the formal "lesson" time is completed.

Read books to your child. Snuggle up together for special Mommy-and-me time. Use funny voices for the characters. Vary your tone to match the scene: fast and loud for the exciting parts, slow whispers for the sneaky parts, sniffling when the character is sad, bouncy and happy when the character is happy. When the book is a familiar favorite, stop periodically to ask your child questions: Where is Papa Bear going next? Why is he doing that? What will he find there? These help build your child’s memory by asking him to recall details he has learned from all of the times you have read this story in the past. Which bear is wearing the red shirt? Point to the smallest bear. Can you find a bowl on the bears' table? Questions of this type help your child notice details and learn to identify colors, sizes, objects, etc. Why did the bears leave the house? Where did they go? What is this little girl's name? These questions teach comprehension: read a portion of the story, and then ask the child about key elements that were just read. At first, you may want to ask questions about one page at a time, but soon your child will be able to recall details from several pages back.

Include ABC books, even though they usually have no plot or story. As a child, my personal favorite was The Nonsense ABC by Edward Lear. For my own children, their favorite was The Dr. Seuss ABC. What those books have in common are fun, rhyming poems for each letter. Lear's "A was once an apple pie" was just as easy to remember as Dr. Seuss and his "Aunt Annie's alligator." The delightful poems were much more enjoyable than a simple picture book of ABC's, although those are useful, too, as you will see in a moment.

Learning letters. Gather all the ABC books you have, and compare the pages for the same letter in each book. Linger over one letter per week or a letter every few days, until you know for sure that your child knows that letter. Use sticky-notes or home-made flashcards to label objects in your home that begin with the letter of the week, and help your child make the letter's sound every time you see one of those objects and say its name. Banana, B, buh, buh-nana. You get the idea -- and so will your preschooler. You may need to get creative on a few letters, such as Q, unless you live with a queen in a home full of quilts and have a pet quail. For X, you may need to use words that have an X in them, such as fox. The picture ABC books will come in very handy now, especially if they use several items for each letter. Don't overlook your public library -- they may have ABC books for unique topics, such as animal ABC's or around-the-world with ABC's.

Help your child learn to recognize a letter, no matter what font it is written in. Making a Letter Recognition Notebook is an excellent method for this. Focus on the appearance of the letters themselves, instead of what objects begin with each letter. Do one page for the upper case of a letter and another page for samples of the lower case letter. The goal here is for your child to be able to spot an a, whether it looks like a ball against a wall or like an egg underneath a tiny umbrella.

Learning numbers. Repeat the activities from the Learning Letters section above, but do them for the numbers 1-10. Draw a group of dots on the page to correspond to the number represented. Use counting books for activities similar to the ABC book activities. Once your child knows 1-10, you may add numbers up to 20, if you'd like. Your goal here is for the child to recognize each digit and immediately know how many objects that number stands for.

Learn colors. Ditto. A color-of-the-week activity will show your child all the varieties of each color. Light blue, dark blue, bright blue, dusty blue, navy blue, sky blue. Blue jeans, blue socks, blueberries, blue blanket, blue water bottle, blue crayons, blue cars, blue blocks, blue game pieces. How many blue things can you find in your home? You may be surprised!

Learn shapes. Ditto once again. The variety within each shape can be confusing at first to little ones. Is a big circle the same thing as a small circle? Are a cookie and a ring both circles even though one has stuff inside it and the other one is empty? Rectangles and triangles can be particularly tricky. Use a dollar (kids love learning with real money) as an example of a rectangle, then turn it up on end to show the child how the dollar is the same shape as a door. No more tricky rectangles! Long and skinny or short and fat, rectangles will still look mostly like a door or a dollar. Triangles have 3 sides, no matter how long or short those sides may be, and once your preschooler can count to 3, he can begin to recognize triangles. Browse through the snack cracker aisle at the supermarket for some tasty, edible geometric shapes! Careful nibblers will transform one shape into another, naming the shapes as they admire their creations and then eating their artwork.

Fine motor skills. See Preschoolers' Educational School-time Activities for a variety of helpful activities that your child will enjoy doing and learn wonderfully useful skills at the same time.

Gross motor skills. Let your child practice on a "balance beam" made by drawing a straight line with chalk on the sidewalk or driveway. Masking tape on the floor is a good substitute indoors. When your child can do it easily without stepping off the line, switch to using a 4" x 4" board (any length) lying directly on the ground. When the child can walk that board easily without losing his balance, prop the board up with a brick or concrete block (or other stable item) at each end -- just don't go too high, so that the child will not be hurt if he does fall. Please stay close by your child whenever he is practicing this.

Other useful concepts. Play. Notice the weather each day. Go to the park. Walk around the block. Smell flowers. Watch an anthill. Put a bird feeder or a bird bath near a window and keep it filled so you can watch the birds and learn to identify them. Make cookies. Add a set of measuring cups to the bath toys. Visit a zoo. Watch a construction site (from a safe distance) and talk about what each man or machine is doing. Learn from life every day.

Social Skills. See Social Skills -- What Should I Teach My Preschooler? for a very complete explanation.

What about school questions? Preschoolers ask questions; it's what they do, and it's who they are. Your homeschooled preschooler will undoubtedly ask questions about going to school: Why does my friend go to school and I don't? When will I go to school? Can I ride on a school bus? Can I play on the school playground? Why does my storybook show kids doing things at school, but I don't have any stories about kids who homeschool? Ah, yes, those questions.

You can share as much as you think your preschooler will understand about why you chose to homeschool, but try not to make other families look bad for not homeschooling. One way around this is to point out what vehicles are owned by the families on your block or in your neighborhood. Some have small cars, some have pickup trucks, and some have minivans. They pick the type of vehicles that they want for the things they do. Some families send their children to public school, some go to private schools, and some homeschool. Each family picks the type of school that they want for their children. Each family can also decide if they want to plant flowers around their house or raise tomatoes in their garden. They can decide if they want to have a dog or a cat or tropical fish or no pets at all. Some families choose to eat in fancy restaurants, some families get burgers at the drive-through, and some families make all their meals at home. Every family gets to make choices, and homeschooling is one thing your family has chosen.

Sometimes the trickier part of answering these questions is to show that not following the crowd can be more fun. Because you are homeschooling, you can go to the park when the other children are stuck inside the school building. This is also a good way to bring weather (good or bad) into the conversation: you can play outside on nice days instead of having to sit at a desk all day long, or you can stay inside where it's warm and dry all day long on the cold and rainy days. Perhaps you can visit the school playground after school is over for the day or on a weekend or during the summer. Perhaps you can ride on a city bus or a church bus. I have known preschoolers who begged and begged their parents to let them go to school, only to find out that school was not the fun experience they had imagined it to be. One little boy asked his mommy if he could be homeschooled again, because all he really had wanted from school was to play on the playground, and when he was in school, the teacher only let him go out to the playground at certain times and for very short periods. Being homeschooled with his brothers was much more enjoyable.

Many children (and parents) ask about the lack of homeschooling in storybooks. I agree that there are very few books that portray education at home, but I have a sneaky way around that, too. Not all storybooks show everything that a child does every day, and not all storybooks show children going to school. Therefore, maybe, just maybe, the children in some books are homeschooling, but the story is telling about some other part of their day. Our school books were not in every room of our house -- ok, sometimes, but not always. When the Bear family went for a walk to let their porridge cool down, perhaps they had been doing their lessons all morning, and now it was lunch time, and they would continue their lessons after lunch. Stories are not always about what you can see -- sometimes there are also lessons to be learned in what the pictures do not show. And finding those lessons also teaches your child to think about the story and what it does and does not say.

Do I need curriculum to homeschool preschool? No. If you don't believe me, take this quick test:

Do you know the alphabet?
Can you count to 20?
Can you identify basic colors and shapes?
Do you know how to use a pencil?
Do you know how to use scissors?
Can you read a child's storybook?

If you answered Yes to 3 or more of these questions, you will probably do just fine. Use the money you would have spent on curriculum for a family zoo pass or a storage cabinet for all of the arts and crafts supplies you will accumulate in the next few years!

Preschool-aged children need foundational skills: pre-reading (recognizing letter names and letter sounds; visual distinction: recognizing differences and similarities between objects), pre-writing (small muscle skills and coordination: using fingers), and body control (large muscle skills and coordination: using arms and legs). Children who are only three, four, or five years old do not need to be able to identify nations of the world, Presidents of the United States, or the life cycle of seahorses. These tiny tots will benefit much more from spending 15 minutes cutting colored paper into confetti than they would from endless coloring pages for geography, history, science, or social studies topics. I have probably just stepped on the toes of multiple eager teachers, but please understand that your little ones will not remember very many of these superfluous lessons until they are able to read fluently for themselves. Then you can turn them loose on the library shelves and get ready to hear them recount the myriads of fascinating facts they have read.

Once when I was selling some of our outgrown books at a used curriculum fair, my customer asked if I had the teacher's manual for the 2^nd grade reading text. "No," I replied with a smile, "I thought if I couldn't figure out the answers to the questions in a 2^nd grade reading book, I had bigger problems than the teacher's manual could fix." She thought about that for a few seconds and began laughing along with me. "You're absolutely right!" And she bought the book. Teaching preschool is even easier than teaching 2^nd grade reading. And you will be able to do it just fine without a teacher's manual or fancy curriculum.

More articles related to Preschoolers are listed in the Topical Index, in the category Preschoolers.

Carnival of Homeschooling

2009-03-18T11:19:00.002-05:00

Jen's article (below) and many others are included in this week's Blarney Edition of the Carnival of Homeschooling, hosted by The Homeschool Cafe. Check it out!

Becoming a Successful and Proud Quitter

2009-03-16T10:19:00.003-05:00

[This article was written by Jennifer (Morrison) Leonhard: Guilt-Free daughter and homeschool graduate.]

My mom (your usual Guilt-Free Homeschooling author) and I recently spoke at the InHome Conference in Illinois. In one of our workshops a mother commented that although she and her husband know the school system in which their child is currently enrolled is failing their child in several subjects, they did not want to pull him out to homeschool until the following fall because they do not want to set a bad example for him of quitting.

***Let's take a reality check time-out here. By leaving the child in a school system that is not teaching him, or that is teaching him incorrectly, what you, the parent, are teaching him is that quitting is not ok, but failing is awesome.***

One of the most important lessons that we learned during our first year of homeschooling was that sometimes quitting is the best thing you can do for your family. This is not to say that quitting is always the solution to a bad situation, but as a society we shun the idea of quitting as if it were a sign of failure. However, if you are already failing, sometimes it is because you have not quit something that you should not have done to begin with.

For example, at one point our family was a part of several homeschool groups at once, and we were going to every event, meeting, play date, field trip, and class day that came up in every one of them. We were over-committed, frustrated, and undernourished in good old-fashioned study and family time. Realizing that we didn't have to be at every event, or a part of every group in the area gave us more time to concentrate on what parts of education were important to our family -- and honestly, sometimes the best field trips are the ones you find yourselves on topics your family is interested in, and in a time frame that works best for, again, your family.

This idea transitions to real, grown-up life, too. I have grown up to be a manager in several retail environments. I was a sales leader in my company and was promoted to management, and when I changed jobs, I was asked to be a manager again after a very short time of being an average joe. After nearly a year and a half of being a manager at the second location, I found myself frustrated that I was never seeing my husband, since we were both too involved in our jobs. I was not getting enough time with the rest of my family -- I had to hire my brother and invite him to live with us just to be able to see him once in a while (huge blessing, although it took a little transitioning). And my focus in life was just not where I wanted it to be in the big picture. However, I felt pressure from my bosses that to leave my position for any reason beyond moving away or finding a more profitable job, would be failure. One weekend, filled with tears because it was the first time in 6 weeks that I had much time to see my husband, under huge pressure from work to spend extended hours at the store on a rare weekend off, and under the looming deadline of the homeschool conference that was really a highlight to my year (but for which I had no time to even delight in its proximity), I made the decision that would best benefit my health and my family -- I had to quit. At first I felt shame, that I had failed, that I was a "quitter." I wondered how my friends and extended family would view this decision.

Looking back on my life, though, I saw a lot of situations in which it had benefited our family that we had quit something. Whether it was a textbook that was not suited to our needs, an activity or group that did not fit our schedule, or a day that simply was not going well and we all just needed a day off before diving back into the normal routine, there were many times when quitting was the best thing we ever did for our family. Since having left my position a little over a month ago, I have such a joy that cannot be compared. It was the right decision for my family -- and sure, my bosses thought it was a mistake, but it felt really good when they asked me to rethink my decision. They did not think I was a failure, they asked me back because they felt I was a success. There are many times in life when quitting may be a bad decision, having one bad day may not constitute a valid reason for quitting, but there are other times when it can lead to great freedom and joy, and even other opportunities that are better for you and your family. Do not let the word "quit" scare you away from a different opportunity that may equal success.

Carnival of Homeschooling

2009-02-17T17:00:00.004-06:00

Techie or not, here it comes! This week's Carnival of Homeschooling is being hosted by Topsy Techie.

10 Fun Math Exercises from a BINGO Game

2009-02-12T12:46:00.002-06:00

A standard Bingo game contains several printed cards with numbers arranged into a grid of rows and columns and tokens marked B-1 through O-75, used for calling the numbers when playing the game. These components can be used in other ways for some creative (and fun) variations on math practice.

Play Bingo for number recognition practice and good, clean fun.
Sort the number-tokens into odds and evens. Or sort out just the tokens needed to skip-count by 2's, or 3's, or 4's, etc.
Arrange the tokens into numerical order from 1-75.
Sort the tokens into 1-10, 11-20, etc.
Pick 2 (or more) tokens at random and add their values together. Now try subtracting them, multiplying them, or dividing them. [Hint: Place all of the tokens into a paper sack or a clean sock for ease of random drawing.]
Pick 2 tokens at random and make fractions from their numbers -- make both a proper fraction (numerator is smaller than denominator) and an improper fraction (numerator is larger than denominator). Simplify each fraction, if possible, or make a list of equivalent fractions.
Add the columns of numbers on the Bingo cards.
Add the rows of numbers on the Bingo cards.
Write the factors for each number on a Bingo card or for number tokens drawn at random.
Practice rounding with the numbers on the Bingo cards or with randomly drawn tokens.

For those who will be attending my workshops at the InHome Conference near Chicago, March 5-7, consider this a "preview of coming attractions!" ;-)

GHFS Workshops at 2009 InHome Conference

2009-01-19T16:57:00.005-06:00

Come one, come all! Guilt-Free Homeschooling will be leading several workshops at the InHome Conference in St. Charles, IL, March 5-7, 2009. Both Carolyn and Jennifer are planning to be there to bring encouragement, share stories, and impart bushels of homeschooling tips! Our workshop titles include Teaching *** Using All Learning Styles (one workshop focusing on Spelling, and another focusing on Math) and Tactile -- The Socially Unacceptable Learning Style. Families new to homeschooling (or anyone struggling with hs'ing) will appreciate What Type of Homeschooler Are You? and Taking the Mystery Out of Learning Styles. We are eagerly preparing the best information to share with you, so make plans now to meet us there -- and be sure to introduce yourself as a reader of this blog!

21 Things That Can Slow Homeschooling Progress

2009-01-05T12:43:00.003-06:00

Typically, homeschoolers talk about the blessings and benefits of homeschooling, which are myriad. However, sometimes Life throws us a curveball--and once in a while, several curveballs--too many to deal with casually as part of the normal course of events. If you have found yourself the unwitting recipient of these circumstances, you may be worrying that your family is just not progressing with homeschooling as quickly as you should or even as well as you used to do. If you feel you are on the verge of a homeschool breakdown, the cause may not necessarily be something you are doing wrong--it may just be due to too many complex situations occurring at the same time or in rapid succession. The following list of unique situations may contain some of the things your family has experienced that you previously had not considered as being directly related to your rate of academic progress (or lack of progress).

1. Homeschooling for the first time
2. Leaving public or private school to switch to homeschooling
3. A reluctant learner who balks at the idea of schoolwork in general
4. An eager learner who wants to explore extensively into each topic
5. Pregnancy
6. Childbirth
7. Adoption
8. An infant
9. A toddler
10. A special needs child
11. A chronic illness or other health crisis affecting any family member
12. A severe injury requiring extended recovery or rehabilitation for any family member
13. An elderly parent/grandparent who needs care or must be moved to a care facility
14. Extensive property damage from fire, flood, or natural disaster
15. A legal or financial crisis
16. A job change
17. Moving to a different home
18. A wedding
19. A divorce
20. A death in the family
21. Miscarriage or stillbirth

Please note that this list is not complete. You may be experiencing some things that are not listed here and yet have been just as devastating to your "normal" routine. If your family has experienced more than one of these items in the past year or in consecutive years, please consult the article Top 10 Benefits of Homeschooling with Grace and the Topical Index categories of Doing Your Best and Encouragement for Parents for some much-needed comfort and uplifting encouragement. If you have reason to anticipate any of these events in your foreseeable future, try to plan ahead as much as is humanly possible in order to prepare yourselves for the upcoming event and its schedule-altering effects. Please note that some of these factors cannot be predicted at all, some will last only a few months, but others may continue for years or for a lifetime (such as a special needs child).

Above all else, know that when your family encounters the types of situations listed above, your children will have experienced Life up-close and personally, and that in itself is an education that no textbook can provide!

Holiday Survival Tips for Toxic Family Gatherings

2008-12-08T16:19:00.006-06:00

The topic of holiday gatherings with extended families was being discussed recently among some friends of mine, and it became apparent that many families dread The Big Family Holiday Dinner because it can take place under very undesirable circumstances. Regardless of socio-economic status, it seems that nearly every extended family includes a few rotten apples along with the pretty, shiny ones. In some cases, the rottenness is merely aggravating, while in others it can be seriously intimidating... or worse. If you are blessed with a truly wonderful family, take some time to concentrate on just how blessed you really are. For the rest of you, allow me to share the following holiday survival tips and advance planning secrets that worked well for getting us through less-than-festive holidays in classic Guilt-Free style. As always, I advocate doing what works best for your immediate family: your children, your spouse, and yourself. Never mind what the grandparents or siblings or aunts and uncles want you to do, expect you to do, or freely tell you that you should do -- Guilt-Free Homeschooling (or Guilt-Free Life in general) is not accomplished according to others' expectations. Let them do what works for them; you need to do what is best for you.

Absolutely, definitely, unquestionably prepare your children in advance for things that you expect might come up in the extended family situation, such as excessive consumption of alcohol, smoking, or bad language, and discuss how you want your children to react to the types of behavior they do not normally see at home. Forewarned is forearmed, and no family is perfect. Talk with your children beforehand, preparing them for what they will likely see and/or hear and from whom (read: which people to avoid). If your polite, well-behaved, morally upstanding children know ahead of time that Auntie Mary or Uncle Henry will be chain-smoking and downing an endless supply of adult beverages, they will be less likely to be shocked into uttering a potentially embarrassing response and igniting a scene that would stun the Hatfields and McCoys.

When discussing expected behavior, I explained our family's rules and standards and contrasted them with other family's rules, so that my children would understand why we had the rules we did. (Pointing out the absence of certain rules in other families sufficiently explained why some of our cousins behaved the way they did.) When my youngsters questioned why another child was allowed to play a violent video game or watch an undesirable video, I had a response ready that usually settled the matter to their satisfaction: "Well, if he was my child, then he wouldn't be allowed to do that." Occasionally, that philosophy would backfire on me, and my children would point out some wonderful privilege that another cousin boasted (usually something that I didn't want or couldn't afford for my children). At that point, I had to use the "things are seldom what they seem" tactic and help my children see The Bigger Picture: was that single privilege taking the place of more important things (to us) that we enjoyed every day (such as the privilege of pursuing our own interests through homeschooling)? When we examine all the facets of others' lives, we can nearly always find areas that we would not enjoy. The trick here is to help your child (or your spouse, or yourself) see all the areas of his own life as a whole, not just the overstocked toy room or the fancy electronic gadget du jour (or the island vacation or the 5-bathroom house or the 4-stall garage filled with shiny, sparkling chrome). A few minutes of focusing on the blessings in your own life will lead you to realize that you really wouldn't want to trade lives (and problems, debts, or tax brackets) with anyone.

It helped us to have a "code word" worked out ahead of time -- something my kids could come and safely tell me while I was surrounded by other relatives ("I have a headache" or "My tummy hurts"), usually spoken while trying to diminish the twinkle in their eyes, that would tell me they wanted Mom's stealth-mode intervention. Since our large family gatherings were always loud and everyone tends to overeat, the headache and tummy ache lines were spoken in truth, but with the added benefit of our coded meaning. It was the timing of the comment that told me as much as the words themselves. "I'm a little tired" can easily hold the double meaning of "I need a break from all these hyper-sugar-buzzed cousins -- please let me sit with you until they get tired of waiting for me and go off to do something else." I would then invite my child to sit with me for a while, and we would start a table game and change the activity level to something much less toxic than what-new-swear-words-have-you-learned-in-public-school-this-week.

Let your kids take along a "bag of tricks," containing an assortment of favorite by-myself activities: a book to read, a puzzle book, or a personal video game will allow your child a retreat into a semblance of personal space and provide a break in the midst of the chaos. [Caution: Do NOT take things that could be easily broken by bullying cousins.] Include some one-on-one games, such as Connect Four or Battleships, to play with one special person, and larger group games, such as Apples to Apples, Uno or SET cards, or dominoes so they can invite others to play along with them. Our experience was that the toxic cousins would run far away when my kids pulled out an educational game or activity, resulting in much-coveted peace and quiet! My kids quickly learned which games would attract the intelligent relatives and repel the undesirables, so you may correctly assume that those games became their favorites to take along to family gatherings. (We also learned that taking games with the fewest pieces possible helped avoid lost parts from their favorite games.)

A table game can improve a toxic atmosphere by refocusing some people and disinteresting others enough that they will leave the room. Play the game with just your children, if necessary, or include a few others -- not everyone under the roof needs to be involved. My family's gatherings usually included the men's cribbage game at the card table, a television in one room dedicated to football and another television elsewhere dedicated to video games, one wide-spreading group game (such as dominoes) on the dining room table, and an assortment of smaller games for the kids to take wherever they could find room enough to play. Remember that the educational games (e.g. Scrabble) that may be fun for homeschooled kids will quickly turn away the cousins/aunts/uncles who do not value learning, knowledge, and brain exercises. Eliminating score-keeping will minimize undue competitiveness, and relaxing a few rules can maximize the fun and adapt the play for various ages and abilities. If you are plagued with know-it-all relatives, bring along a new game that they are less likely to be familiar with. You can selectively choose games that work with only a specific number of players or choose "party" games that work for any number, depending on how you need to manipulate the crowd to your advantage.

My children used to stick their noses in a book just long enough to get away from their cousins (who would flee from anything resembling education or schoolwork). Reading a book can give an introverted child an important quiet-time break, transporting him to a more secluded environment. Historical novels can carry the reader to a peaceful, civilized era where people spoke eloquent language and treated each other with dignity and respect. Detective stories & mysteries focus the thoughts on solving a specific problem, and biographies draw attention to someone else's life for a while. (If those sound preferable to a day with your relatives, you may want to take along a book for yourself!)

Are you dreading the inevitable homeschooling interrogation? (See Discouraging Families) You don't have to take on every debate that is proffered. A brief answer followed by smiling silence can do more to make your case than a well-rehearsed discourse. For example, the acid-tongued challenge of "Are you still homeschooling those kids?" can be answered by a very confident "Yes!" and nothing more. That effectively turns the tables back on your accuser, forcing him to come up with an actual line of reasoning against homeschooling, which you can then refute with facts, if you haven't walked away from the debate by then. (Be aware that offering too much information at once can work against you.) Meanwhile, change your tactics from defense to offense: start dealing out the pack of SET cards and watch your kids astound the crowd with their warp-speed abilities to spot Sets. The same people who were so recently criticizing your "inadequate" academics will slink away and develop a sudden interest in the football game's halftime show.

Is your problem that your toxic older parent treats you (an adult parent yourself) as though you were still a child? Your first duty is to your own children, not to your overly-controlling parent. (See "Parent" Is a Verb) Yes, it is possible to respect an older parent while still standing up for your own children. Others of us may have to deal with the Know-It-All relative, the one who feels the need to be involved in every generation's decisions, from what foods go on your child's plate to who puts what decoration on which part of the Christmas tree. (See The Know-It-All Attitude)When a Know-It-All starts imposing his or her views on your unfortunate child, it's time to intervene and disrupt that negativity.

Let me make this very clear: your family (your spouse and children) are your #1 priority.

IT IS OKAY to limit contact (shortened periods of interaction) with those whose rules/standards will have a serious, negative impact over an extended period of time (and your gut instinct will accurately tell you when that time has been reached).
IT IS OKAY to supervise contact with those who cannot be trusted to behave in a civilized manner on their own.
IT IS OKAY to cut off contact with those who may actually cause harm.
IT IS OKAY to leave early! Make whatever excuse you need to, and leave. You can still redeem the remainder of a miserable day with a *good* family activity with just your own kids: pizza, ice cream, a movie out, family game night, or just a favorite video and popcorn at home. (Trust me -- it works!) If you absolutely cannot depart, take your kids for a walk or go into a back bedroom and read them a story or watch a family-friendly video or do whatever you can do to disrupt the impact of the negative influences and create some happier moments in the day.
These are YOUR children: if you need to limit, supervise, or cut off their exposure to certain toxic relatives, do it. Nothing -- especially not the pseudo-feelings of a drunken, vulgar, distant relative who won't remember his abhorrent behavior tomorrow and would deny it anyway -- nothing is more important than the safety and well-being of your children (and your spouse) in these formative years. (You will be surprised at the amount of respect you will gain by standing up to oafish brutes who can't remember how to behave in public.)

Don't shut family members out completely UNLESS they have proven themselves so extremely toxic as to be a genuine danger to the health or safety of your children, your spouse, or yourself. That circumstance is at an entirely different level from the typical family gathering with merely annoying relatives. This may include your child's extreme food allergies and the relative who thinks "it's all in your head" and insists on slipping the child some of the suspect food when you're not looking, or it could be a relative with pedophilia issues that the rest of the family casually dismisses as "harmless." Follow your instincts: they will seldom be wrong. Don't allow something now that you will regret later.

It is not necessary to be insulting or to purposely hurt feelings by bluntly declaring "We can't stand to be around you any longer!!" It is usually enough to say "We need to go now." Use the weather or the traffic as an excuse, if needed, or say "Joey's tired, and we need to take him home." (Little Joey may not actually be in need of immediate sleep, but Joey may certainly be tired of being picked on by his bigger cousins, or he's tired of Aunt Sarah pinching his cheeks every 8.3 minutes, or he's tired of Uncle Joe reminding him of how Joey is his namesake -- when the last thing Joey ever wants in this life is to grow up to be anything at all like creepy, stinky Uncle Joe!) Family is forever, so tolerate as much as is reasonable by finding ways to make the uncomfortable situations more bearable. You could ultimately end up with a fabulous reputation for being the fun and smart branch of the family who always bring those great games!

What if you're destined to spend several days with tiring relatives due to air travel restrictions? Take your children for a walk around the neighborhood, take them to a movie, play a game with your kids, read a chapter or two from a good book together. Change the activity. Change the topic of conversation. Change the channel. Do something to break the cycle and disrupt the toxic flow. Even if you are not normally the intermediary type, try to stretch yourself in this situation for the sake of your children. Speaking up once may be all that is required to let others know where the line is and when they have stepped over it. There may come a point where continued exposure to certain relatives can become a negative influence to your children, instead of your presence being a positive influence to the others. If affordable, retreating to a cheap motel for even one night will give your family a break from all the relatives and allow you a few blessed private moments to yourselves. You may indeed by trapped in a relative's home this year, but you can plan ahead for diversions while you are there and make other arrangements for next year.

Are you hosting this year's family dinner? Invite an individual or family from church/work/etc. to join your family gathering who would not otherwise have close family with whom to share the holidays. They can serve as a "buffer" for keeping your relatives on their best behavior -- most people are less relaxed around strangers and won't be as likely to speak or act as freely. Use this to your advantage! You get the double blessing of hosting your friends (and the alternate topics of conversation they provide), and your troublesome relatives will be more likely to behave themselves.

Remember that your lives may be the only "Bible" your extended family will ever read. Don't take that lightly. While there may be relatives who won't listen to (or won't allow) your testimony or attempts at sharing your faith, they will still see your lives, your actions, and your reactions. That "silent" witness will speak to them much more loudly than mere words ever could.

Yes, most of these tactics will mean that you spend your holiday working like an activities director or referee, rather than sitting back and catching up on all of the family gossip. However, sailing through the day and avoiding any huge blow-ups will be worth every bit of effort on your part, and that in itself will bring blessed relief from the previously anticipated tensions. Plan ahead, prepare your secret bag of tricks (games, books, etc.), and enjoy your holiday the best you can. Being prepared means fewer surprises, fewer shocks, fewer uncomfortable moments, and truly happy holidays!

The Holidays Are Unit Studies -- Learning During the Busy Season

2008-12-02T15:13:00.004-06:00

[This article was written by Jennifer (Morrison) Leonhard: Guilt-Free daughter and homeschool graduate.]

The holidays are a hectic time: relatives are coming over, the house needs to be cleaned, presents must be bought and wrapped, and food must be prepared. The schoolwork either gets lost along the way or becomes an added frustration as we try to get everything done at once. Mom planned our school schedule with the knowledge that Dad would be home from work around this time and regular schoolwork wouldn't get done, but the learning was just beginning.

Mom usually gave us a break from lessons during the entire week of Thanksgiving, and we often stopped our official schoolwork well before Christmas, since extra time before each holiday was more beneficial for Mom's preparations than time off afterward. However, we found many opportunities for learning, even when the schoolbooks had been put back on the shelf.

Shop Class
Dad usually did some project around the house during his time off from work (after all, you can't get Dad to just sit around the house doing nothing). We learned to fix cracks in walls, paint, and generally drive Mom crazy with home repairs, all while she was preparing to have people over. Creating homemade presents, like building blocks, picture frames, and ornaments, teach handcrafts while theoretically cutting down on the expenses for gifts.

Math
Mom has always used cooking as math. Make a recipe smaller or larger, and you are automatically learning fractions: 3/4 cup of flour times 2 equals 1 1/2 cups. (Sure you could just use the 3/4 cup twice, but then what are you learning?) The economics of having a budget for Christmas will never fail to provide an opportunity for learning. How about learning some geometry and spatial relationships when wrapping presents? A lesson in possibility vs. impossibility lurks in the concept of a jolly and fat Santa squeezing down a chimney (which also brings up the lesson of "don't try this at home") or reindeer in flight (although one can argue that bees are also supposed to be a flight impossibility, and yet they consistently defy logical aerodynamics).

Music
Obviously, Christmas includes music -- but that can take on many different forms. You can find many genres of Christmas music, from a symphony orchestra to the sounds of animals barking and mewing Away in a Manger. The latter is rather amusing the first time, but it gets harder to appreciate with frequency. The library and your friends will likely have a variety of holiday music that you can sample. I found a simple song book and learned how to tap out a few tunes on the piano. I knew what Christmas songs were supposed to sound like, so they were easier to learn, and I got a small taste of playing the piano. Explore the lyrics of Christmas songs to learn a little about Christmas history -- have you ever wondered why the lyrics to I'll Be Home for Christmas talk about presents on the tree?

History
Beyond the lyrics of songs giving us a glimpse into Christmas Past, there are many other subjects you can study for history. Thanksgiving is a history lesson in itself, from the voyage of the Pilgrims to learning why we celebrate it in November. American history becomes an interesting pastime instead of boring history when reading a Pilgrim's personal account of coming to this country. Do you know why we celebrate Christmas around a tree? Or who started the tradition of sending Christmas cards? Do you know how the first Christmas trees were decorated -- or the stories behind your family's favorite decorations?

Literature
From studying Christmases past to reading about the Ghost of Christmas Past, ample literature can be found about others celebrating Christmas. In the spirit of the season, reading holiday stories aloud by a fire while drinking hot cocoa certainly doesn't feel much like schoolwork!

Spelling
The holidays can provide much inspiration for spelling, from Old World words in songs to sitting around after dinner, playing Scrabble with friends and family. Reindeer pulling a sleigh will provide you with more exceptions to the rule "I before E, except after C."

Language, Geography & Social Studies
Research the different names for Santa Claus around the world. (And for math, estimate the number of stops he must make in a single night.) Various traditions surround Santa's visit, from cookies and milk to leaving shoes instead of stockings to be filled. And don't overlook the traditions of Hanukkah: many interesting studies reside in the holiday celebrations from other cultures.

Cooking
Besides being recruited to help Mom with preparations for large family dinners (and vying for turns at grinding the fruits for our traditional cranberry relish), we often made a variety of cookies and candies to have available during the season. Occasionally, we also made an assortment of mini-casseroles and other freezer meals as gifts for elderly grandparents. Perhaps you could experience popular foods from holiday celebrations in the past -- and who doesn't enjoy a chance to try yummy new foods? You may end up adding a new favorite to the season, or (if you don't like the new dish) you can at least learn to be more thankful for the old standards your family regularly prepares for holidays.

Many more lessons can be found in the holiday seasons -- just make sure to keep your eyes open for learning opportunities and your heart open to the most important lesson of all: being thankful for the Son.

How Can I Teach Out-of-the-Box Thinking?

2008-10-30T13:43:00.003-05:00

[This article was written by Jennifer (Morrison) Leonhard: Guilt-Free daughter and homeschool graduate.]

Society spends years conforming our minds, teaching us to follow certain conventions and rules, and then once we reach college and business, we are asked to be "out of the box thinkers." I turned to my brother for inspiration at this point. My brother has never been accused of being "in the box" unless it was a large cardboard box, wrapped as a Christmas present during a white elephant gift exchange. (Yes, he really did that.)

In math class, when presented with a hexagon and asked to "Name this figure," he simply wrote "Bob." When Mom asked what direction he would be facing if he went out the front door, walked 3 steps and turned right, took 3 steps, then turned right again, took 3 steps and turned right again, he said, "Forward!" By nature I am more of a conformist, striving to give the answer that was expected of me, and when faced with an "out of the box" question, I was often lost. Given no absolute and no example upon which to base my answers, I didn't know where to look and often called my brother from college to see what his answer would be. After an hour or so of brainstorming, I could find a direction that suited me for forming my own thoughts.

Surprisingly though, I have often been considered by my peers as a bit out of the box. For the past few years, I have dressed in costume for work during the holiday season. It started when I worked in a commission environment (selling fine jewelry) and had to find a way to gain attention and get customers to talk to me. Dressing in a Santa hat and curly toed shoes with bells on the ends made customers want to greet me, instead of shying away when I greeted them. Getting the initial greeting with the customer was the hard part -- after that I could gain the information I needed to learn who they were shopping for and what that person might like in a gift. My costumes prompted the customers to speak to me first.

Last year we had too much Halloween inventory at our retail store, and it wasn't moving out the door fast enough. I started dressing in costumes, and children would beg their parents for a costume: after all, that girl over there (me) is dressed up, and it isn't Halloween yet! It worked. I started coming up with as many costumes as I could, digging through our old dress-up box to come up with ideas. Many costumes were based on a single hat and accessorized to fit the theme. A witch's hat turned an ordinary black dress, green tights, and green eye shadow into a complete character. The same idea worked with an inexpensive pirate's hat and a striped shirt, dark eyeliner, one hoop earring, and a gold blazer. Everyone at work asked where I got these elaborate costumes, but most of them were things I normally wore to work any other day, but they were just combined differently to go with a specific hat. It seems simple enough when explained, but my coworkers simply can't get over each costume I wear. They laugh at my courage to wear a costume to work, since many are not planning to wear a costume on Halloween, but I've been wearing costumes every day for weeks.

I don't know exactly what factors made my brother and me the way we are, but I do know that we were encouraged to have an imagination much bigger than ourselves. We drew Dr. Seuss characters with chalk on the sidewalk and tried to create Seuss-like characters of our own. Mom had wanted to be an astronaut when she grew up, and that same desire to shoot for the moon was passed on to my brother and me.

When my brother and I were growing up, Mom would ask us questions that would get us to think situations through. Along with asking us simpler questions, like what sounds certain animals made, she would ask us more intriguing questions, such as how would we get our shoes tied if we had a broken arm. She asked questions that would get us to anticipate the future before it happened, and consider how different variables could alter the outcome. We were encouraged to look at questions from different angles, to experiment to see what happened, and to have the imagination to believe anything was possible.

Mom created new games using parts from the other games we had -- usually to teach us something. I hated spelling, but using Scrabble tiles to form my spelling words made the subject a little easier to grasp. Math was more fun when it involved a scavenger hunt for us and a friend. In fact, Mom always called math a puzzle. She enjoyed algebra, and as annoying as that was sometimes, she taught us how to see it as a puzzle, too. Mom used her math skills to scale down the solar system to the size of our block -- the sun was as wide as our street, and we drew its outline with chalk right there in the middle of the street, and then we mapped out the planets to scale, too. Seeing how far the planets would be from each other if the sun would fit on our street helped us to imagine how far away from each other they must be in real life.

I'm not especially talented, I am a horrible artist, the musical talent went to my brother, and I wouldn't make a good actress. I'm also not the homeschooler who is likely to be featured on the cover of a magazine. I enjoy math, but it doesn't come easily to me. However, I did learn to visualize things, whether possible or not, in order to come up with solutions and decide on the best one. Although a lot of my homeschooling came from books due to my love of reading, some of the most memorable parts were when our family got out of the textbooks, out of the classroom, and out of the box.

Preschoolers' Educational School-Time Activities

2008-09-04T13:58:00.003-05:00

How much trouble can a bored preschooler get into while you are trying to help your older children with their lessons? Don't answer that. Instead, let's just focus on providing your preschooler with some fun activities as his own version of "schoolwork."

Preschoolers can begin to learn school-time skills with a few simple projects of their own. Try some of these activities by setting up your preschooler with his own individual work area, just as though he were another "real" student, but your space allowances will determine whether your preschooler is seated near his siblings or in his own special location with plenty of elbow room. If it is possible to group your children together in the same area, your preschooler can begin to observe how his siblings sit and work independently, so that he can learn to duplicate their actions. Not every preschooler will be eager to sit still and "play" school for long periods, but for those who are determined to mimic their older siblings, these suggestions offer safe, semi-supervised activities that will develop essential skills. Activities can be changed periodically, just as your older students change subjects throughout the day. These projects can work to lengthen a short attention span, as well as keep your little one occupied in fascinating, educational activities while you explain a lesson concept or demonstrate a few math problems to your older students.

You will probably need to work back and forth, setting up the preschooler with his activity, then starting the older children on their lessons, checking back on the preschooler, following up with the olders, and repeating the cycle as often as needed. Yes, at first you will feel as busy as the old-time plate juggler who balanced spinning plates on tall sticks placed around a table, running and spinning and running and spinning and running to catch the far one just before it falls, but your diligence will quickly pay off with rewards of students who can work independently for a few minutes until Mom is available for help.

The following is a list of materials and activities to help keep your preschooler occupied and give him a boost in the learning department, beyond the usual board books and wooden puzzles. Whether these activities look educational or not, they do include getting-ready-for-learning skills, often disguised as creative fun. Reserving these materials (especially the scissors and glue sticks) and activities for use only during school-time or at the school table will help reinforce the idea of schoolwork in your preschooler's mind and help him become accustomed to your family's homeschooling routine. If the "fun" activities can only be done during school, it helps to plant the idea that learning is fun -- plus it keeps those activities from becoming boring. Many other activities and playthings also have educational benefits, so please extend this list with your own activities and variations to fit your child's interests and skill level. Be sure to swap ideas with your friends, no matter what the ages of the children, because ideas can be adapted to suit any age level.

"Sample" Notebooks

Materials: an assortment of old magazines, newspapers, greeting cards, sales ads, junk mail, etc.; spiral notebooks and glue stick, or magnetic photo album/pages. Store these in a specific box for the preschooler's use, to prevent him from cutting up your newest magazines, unpaid bills, and expensive set of leather-bound first edition books.

Method: Let your child find and cut out pictures, letters, or numbers that fit certain criteria:

--Objects matching a specific color (use basic colors to allow for variations in shading);
--Objects starting with a certain letter of the alphabet;
--Letters and/or numbers in a variety of fonts/typefaces.

Use each of the above groups to create individual "sample" notebooks, making 1-2 pages for each category: color recognition (separate pages for red, yellow, etc), letter-symbol recognition (separate pages for a/A, b/B, etc), letter-sound recognition (separate pages for things that begin with "a," "b," etc), number-symbol recognition (separate pages for each numeral, 0-9 or higher, if desired), number-value recognition (groups of 2 items for "2's," groups of 3 items for "3's," etc.), etc. (Recognition of the letter or number symbols is important because the variations in fonts and typefaces can be quite confusing to beginning readers.)

Keep the child busy looking and searching on his own for the needed samples and let him do the cutting, so that this activity lasts more than a few seconds. Samples can be glued into an old spiral notebook with a glue-stick or put into an old photo album or 3-ring binder with "magnetic" photo pages for minimal mess. The notebooks can also be "studied" for help in recognizing colors, letters, etc. Occasional supervision may be necessary to help the beginner understand the placement of the samples. A younger child may just enjoy cutting/gluing random pictures into a notebook without any specific categories. Pictures can also be arranged so as to tell a wordless story: This little girl went to this house to visit her grandmother...

Skills Developed: visual recognition, cutting with scissors, glue-stick, fine motor skills

Mess Alert: paper scraps from cutting; glue-stick residue

Tangram Pictures & Patterns

Materials: felt pieces, flat craft foam shapes, colored paper or card stock pieces (cut into circles, squares, rectangles, triangles, parallelograms, etc.)

Method: free play; challenge student to duplicate patterns; challenge student to keep enlarging designs

Skills Developed: eye/hand coordination, fine motor skills, pattern recognition

Mess Alert: pieces to pick up (Store the pieces in a box large enough that your child can easily return the pieces himself at clean-up time)

Stringing Beads

Materials: wooden, plastic, or craft foam beads; empty thread spools; leather boot laces, shoestrings, or plastic laces

Method: Tip of shoelaces can be stiffened by wrapping with masking tape to form a child-safe "needle" about 3" long. Free play, or challenge student to duplicate patterns.

Skills Developed: eye/hand coordination, fine motor skills, pattern recognition

Mess Alert: pieces to pick up (Store the pieces in a box large enough that your child can easily return the pieces himself at clean-up time)

Sewing/Lacing Cards

Materials: cardboard or poster board shapes with holes punched close to the edges; plastic canvas; yarn, heavy string, shoelaces, or plastic laces

Method: Sew through the holes to outline the shape or loop around the edges. (See above for creating a safe "needle" with masking tape) Plastic canvas can be "stitched" randomly or into any pattern desired; it can be cut into shapes or used as squares or rectangles (circles can also be found in most craft stores). Blunt yarn needles (metal or plastic) can also be found in craft stores, if desired.

Skills Developed: eye/hand coordination, fine motor skills

Mess Alert: strings to pick up (Store the pieces in a box large enough that your child can easily return the pieces himself at clean-up time)

Building Blocks

Materials: Cuisenaire rods, building blocks, etc. (may be interlocking or non-interlocking)

Method: free play; building/stacking; pattern matching (include paper patterns to reproduce with blocks); counting, matching, & sorting. Simple patterns may be drawn as a guide for the child to reproduce over and over: red/red/blue or square/rectangle/triangle, etc.

Skills Developed: eye/hand coordination, fine motor skills, pattern recognition, basic math awareness

Mess Alert: pieces to pick up (Store the pieces in a box large enough that your child can easily return the pieces himself at clean-up time)

Buttons

Materials: jar or box of assorted clothing buttons

Method: free play; sorting, matching, & counting

Skills Developed: eye/hand coordination, fine motor skills, basic math awareness

Mess Alert: pieces to pick up (Store the pieces in a box large enough that your child can easily return the pieces himself at clean-up time)

Wikki Stix

Materials: Wikki Stix (like chenille sticks, but made of wax)

Method: free play; pattern duplication; shaping into letters or numbers

Wikki Stix may be stuck to windows, table tops, paper, or stuck to each other for 3-D creations.

Skills Developed: eye/hand coordination, fine motor skills, pattern recognition, creativity

Mess Alert: may leave slight waxy residue on surfaces, depending on brand used

Cutting Practice

Materials: child-safe scissors, construction paper or newspapers (Again, have a designated supply of papers for the child to use, avoiding accidental cutting of valuable materials.)

Method: Let child practice cutting photos or ads from newspapers, cutting along lines, etc.

Let child practice cutting by reducing construction paper to bits! Leftover scraps of paper, torn sheets, or less-pretty colors may be used up in this manner, giving valuable practice in scissor skills.

Skills Developed: eye/hand coordination, fine motor skills, cutting with scissors

Mess Alert: paper scraps

Handwriting Practice

Materials: newspapers, junk mail (Again, have a designated supply of papers for the child to use, avoiding accidental drawing on valuable materials.)

Method: Let child practice handwriting by tracing lines inside the thick lines of headlines and large font letters and numbers. The child may also like to copy letters or entire words onto blank sheets of paper or wide-lined paper.

Skills Developed: eye/hand coordination, fine motor skills, pre-handwriting basics

Mess Alert: paper scraps; marks from pencils or other writing implements

Activity Jar

Materials: Activity Jar full of assorted items

Method: (see this article for details)

Skills Developed: sorting, matching, counting, fine motor skills

Mess Alert: pieces to pick up (children can easily help toss pieces back into the large container). Pieces may be poured out onto a cookie sheet or cake pan to minimize scattering.

What Made This a "Bad" Homeschool Day?

2008-08-14T13:18:00.003-05:00

This day started with such promise. You planned the lessons, and everyone took their places, but then something, somewhere went wrong. Very wrong. And you may have no idea why. Go fix yourself a refreshing beverage, and let's see if we can analyze what happened.

In my personal vocabulary, a "bad homeschool day" has one basic meaning: We didn't accomplish all of the lessons that I had planned for us to do. There can be multiple causes for this "failure," which is probably not as much of an actual failure as it is just not hitting the bull's-eye of your intended target of Lessons Mastered. To take this analogy just a bit further, think of your day's homeschooling plans as a standard target of concentric rings. Landing an arrow anywhere on the target is a degree of success (a partially learned lesson), and even coming close to the target is still a degree of success (learning anything at all about any topic, but not necessarily the planned lesson). A complete and utter failure would mean that your arrow never even left the bow (although that in itself teaches a lesson, but we'll get to that later*). Also notice that the bull's-eye of that target is not a pinpoint. It is actually roomy enough to hold several arrows, meaning that two or three arrows can be separated by some distance while still occupying the official center of the target. Consider this for a moment: you can hit the bull's-eye several times, with the arrows landing fairly far apart from each other. Different arrows in different parts of the bull's-eye equate to different homeschooling days that reach the goal in different ways. You can achieve success while still not reaching pinpoint perfection. (Perfection and success are two entirely different things -- and success is much easier to achieve than perfection!)

Now let's look at some possible causes of today's Bad Homeschooling Day.

1) A Family Emergency -- File this under "Life Happens." These often cannot be avoided. Emergency Room visits are often considered by active little boys to be sure indicators of bravery and manhood, veritable rites of passage. Other emergencies can come in the guise of a chronic illness, a death in the family, or an unexpected change in career or place of residence. Marriage, divorce, pregnancy, miscarriage, and many other events can have a resounding effect on homeschooling progress and for much longer than a single day. There is usually no way to schedule an emergency: it just happens. Please do not despair when some unexpected event disrupts your calendar. Do keep in mind that extremely valuable *life lessons will still be learned during family emergencies -- lessons that do not come from textbooks and cannot be experienced in classroom situations.

2) Your Students Just Didn't Get It -- File this under "Not Unusual." Students vary in how they learn: God made them that way. What bizarre sort of Stepford Wives-world would this be if everyone reacted exactly like everyone else? The lessons for today were probably not presented in ways that corresponded to your students' learning styles. See the Titles Index and look for Alternate Methods of Teaching [for various subjects]. Even if the exact subject you need is not listed, the articles contain many suggestions for presenting material to the various learning styles, and you will find ideas that will help.

3) Your Students Would Not Stay On Task -- File this under "Learning Styles." Over there is a daydreamer, here is a wiggler, this one is a goof-off, and that one never stops talking. Sound familiar? This category also applies to your students' styles of learning, but this, too, can be accommodated. It's not that your students are trying purposely to ignore you; it's just that they find other facets of life much more intriguing than the way this particular lesson is being presented.

A daydreamer may be thinking up a truly valuable invention, or mulling over a tidbit from a recent conversation or book or movie or song, or puzzling over why something works the way it does, and if that does then shouldn't this be possible, too? Your daydreamer is very likely not dreaming at all, but thinking very deep and elaborate thoughts and ideas. Allow that child to keep an "idea notebook" handy for quickly jotting down thoughts to be explored more fully later, after the lessons are done. The journal will help the child remember those thoughts, and it just might help him get refocused on the lesson at hand. Plus, you get the bonus of voluntary writing: SHH -- don't let the child know that you are secretly counting this as a writing assignment! This is just a special, personal notebook that can be kept handy during any lesson and pulled out for scribbling a quick note without receiving a scolding for momentarily not paying attention. Assure him this journal will not to be corrected, graded, or even read by anyone else until he chooses to share his ideas. My son kept a notebook that we called his Invention Journal, which he filled with complicated drawings and detailed explanations for items he felt would be valuable, time-saving, or just plain fun.

A wiggler has a serious need to move, so use it to your advantage. Send him off to run an errand to the other end of the house or to run laps around the back yard before you begin presenting the lesson. Once his muscles are awake, he will be a much more attentive listener. Include stretch breaks between lessons or between sections of a long lesson. Hindering this child's need for movement is equivalent to letting his brain run out of gas.

Talkers have just as great a need to express themselves as the wiggler has a need to move. These are the students who can easily be engaged in discussions, debates, and question-and-answer sessions about lesson concepts. They are not likely to read directions themselves: they are much more likely to ask you to tell them what to do. [See Teach Your Students to Teach Themselves for help with this.] A budding comedian needs to get the funny story out of his system before he will be able to concentrate on any academic input, so invite him to tell it, and enjoy a hearty laugh together. He will be much more attentive to your lessons when he knows you appreciate his humor. You can trust me on this one -- by the time my son turned six, I had developed a great empathy for what Jerry Seinfeld's mother must have endured.

A student who cannot keep his hands still is often accused of goofing off and delaying his work by fiddling with anything within reach. This one will drive you straight to the room with the thickly padded rubber wallpaper unless you realize that those busy fingers are the keys to his ears. Just like the wiggler who must move his legs to activate his brain, The Busy Fingers Kid must have something in his hands to stimulate his brain. Once again, you can use this to your advantage: let him hold a favorite toy or keep his special blanket folded underneath him on his chair or give him modeling clay to work with while you read aloud or explain a lesson concept. Do not insist on eye contact with this child to prove he is paying attention -- his ears will only be able to listen to you if his hands are busy, and his eyes may or may not focus on you. This child will respond especially well to manipulatives, learning aids, and educational gadgets. It's not that he wants something to play with, he just needs to feel something with his fingers to be able to learn.

4) A Defiant Student -- File this under "Needs a Little More Time." This most often occurs when a family is involved in a major change, such as the transition from public or private school to homeschooling, especially if the student is not completely thrilled with the idea. Students who have previously been in a classroom situation need time to decompress and shift gears into the more relaxed atmosphere of homeschooling. A good rule of thumb for the length of the transition is one month for every year the child spent in school, double that if the child went to preschool. That period will be a time of adjustment: expect to find and repair potholes, expect to share tears and triumphs, and be as patient, loving, and forgiving as you possibly can muster. Know that every rough patch you can bring your student through will lead to smoother sailing later on. Remember that this child's entire academic world is undergoing dramatic changes, and your student has no idea what to expect next. Treat your defiant student with respect, and he will respect you in return. [See Troublesome Students for more specific suggestions.]

5) Using a Homeschooling Style That Is Counter to Your Family's Lifestyle -- File this under "Common Mistakes." Many families who are new to homeschooling, especially families who are leaving public or private school, make the all-too-common-but-well-intended mistake of trying to duplicate a formal school routine at home. Reasoning that the children have been used to precisely timed periods, clocks and bells to signal those periods, structured lessons, and periodic tests, innocent first-time homeschoolers may think it is wrong to finish a subject in less than 30 minutes (or to extend it longer than 60 minutes), wrong to start the day's lessons after 10 AM (or before 8 AM), or wrong to finish all of the day's lessons in only 2 hours (or wrong not to have everything finished up by 3:15 PM). Let me assure you that you may use as much or as little time as seems fitting to your students' abilities, and daily variances are not at all uncommon. Furthermore, it is absolutely permissible to take stretch breaks and play breaks and snack breaks as often as they may be necessary. You are allowed to teach students of close but differing ages as though they were in the same grade at the same time, if that fits well into your situation and their needs. You are allowed to skip a lesson now and then, spread a single lesson over several days, take a day off when you really need it, and choose educational materials that match your family's values and interests.

If your students need structure and precise scheduling, then by all means use it. But if your family feels stifled and pressured by demanding schedules and tedious lessons, explore learning in a more relaxed, more motivating environment. Perhaps your plans have been too aggressive. Perhaps you do need more personal discipline. Whatever your family's needs may be, find the combination of lesson materials and supplemental activities that works for your family and begin to thrive.

I cannot promise that you will never again have a Bad Homeschooling Day. I cannot promise that every Bad Homeschooling Day can be magically transformed into an Exceptional Learning Day. What I can guarantee is that you will get out of homeschooling exactly what you will put into it: if you work toward teaching your students in the ways they learn best, you will reap attentive, eager learners who may often be several steps ahead of you. When a student's interest veers away from the planned lesson, do not be afraid to pursue his suggestion -- you may both end up learning much more than the textbook's authors intended.

The poet Robert Burns is often paraphrased, The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Proverbs 16:9 provides a more optimistic conclusion: The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. No matter what your plans may be, remember that they are only plans: ideas and intentions of what you hope to accomplish with your students during a set period of time. Some days are slow learning days -- you know yourself that on some days you can think faster or more clearly than you can on other days, depending on the weather, a mild illness, or the unpredictable distractions of life. Your children are exactly the same: some days their progress will be slow, and on other days they will make up for lost time and amaze your socks off! Give yourselves time to adapt to learning at home, and experiment with schedule changes until you find the ideal solution for your family's needs. Use Life's interruptions to teach the lessons not found in books, and recognize the lessons your students are learning, whether or not the worksheets get completed today.

For further encouragement, please see these additional articles:
Redeeming a Disaster Day
Homeschooling Is a Choice
What Is Your "Best"?
Reschedule, Refocus, Regroup

Activity: Felt Shapes

2008-07-18T13:23:00.003-05:00

Do you need a new idea for keeping the kiddies occupied indoors when it's too hot to play outside? Are you looking for a "down time" activity? Have you had it with the constant noise of TV and kids and more TV? Here is something that will occupy their minds as well as their hands, stir their imaginations, and give your ears a few moments of blissful solace: a box of felt pieces.

This was a favorite activity for my tactile child. It makes a great "lap toy" for quiet time. I started with some leftover pieces of craft felt, cutting them into geometric shapes and random shapes. A piece of flannel fabric (approx. 18" x 24") served as a background and could be spread over a sofa cushion, the carpeted floor, or a bed pillow, then folded up easily to fit into the storage box when playtime was done. [Hint: cut up an old flannel shirt, nightgown, or pillow case.] I used felt in bright colors, pastels, neutral colors, and black and white for squares, rectangles, triangles, circles, and ovals in a wide range of sizes. [Note: thin sheets of craft foam can be used, but the foam pieces tend to jump or cling from static electricity, and they lack the softer flexibility of the felt cloth.] The child makes "pictures" and patterns with the felt shapes on the flannel, stacking or layering pieces as desired. Smoothing the pieces in place provides an important tactile connection for a touch-feely child.

It works best to keep the smallest pieces larger than a coin -- anything smaller will be difficult to cut. The largest pieces do not need to be bigger than your hand, since larger pieces will be more difficult to store flat. (An older child may enjoy cutting the pieces for younger siblings to play with, but remember the size limitations.) If you are feeling especially creative, add some half-circles, crescents, teardrop/petal shapes, stylized leaf shapes, and a few 4"-10" strands of yarn (useful for flower stems, kite strings, and other necessary lines). Pinking shears can add variety to some pieces, but will be difficult to use on smaller pieces; the shears must also be quite sharp to produce a good zigzag edge. (Optional: applying iron-on interfacing will stiffen the felt, making cutting easier and the pieces more durable.)

Remember that this project will be a plaything, so your shapes do not have to be exactly measured or accurately cut. Keep it simple: free-hand cutting is adequate. Circles do not have to be perfectly round, and squares, rectangles, and triangles do not need perfectly straight sides or precise corners. Your child's imagination will be broadened through playing with the felt shapes, and imagination is a great substitute for precision.

Quick trick for cutting triangles: cut squares or rectangles in two diagonally.
Quick trick for cutting petal shapes: cut a rectangle in two diagonally, making two long triangles, and round off the short end opposite the long pointy tip, producing the stylized silhouette of a single-scoop ice cream cone.
Quick trick for cutting leaves: round opposite corners of a square or rectangle, leaving the uncut corners as the pointy ends of the leaf.

Don't feel that you need to make shapes that look like real objects. Your child's imagination will take over, transforming those simple rectangles, circles, and triangles into wonderful things. A child who has always relied on printed coloring pages for "art class" may need some time and a little help to activate his imagination, stop depending on literal representations, and begin developing creative thinking skills.

Store the pieces as flat as possible in a box large enough to make clean-up easy for the child, and a container with a tight-fitting or locking lid will prevent accidental spillage. Any pieces that are wrinkled or folded when put away will be wrinkled and folded at the next playtime, so try to smooth each piece out as flat as possible. (The tactile child will actually enjoy this step.) Badly wrinkled pieces can easily be ironed flat again.

A solid felt board or "flannel-graph" can be made by covering heavy cardboard or a bulletin board with a large piece of felt or flannel fabric. The board requires more storage space than just a loose piece of cloth, but the board can be useful for illustrating lesson concepts to more than one child at a time by propping it up where all can see it at once. A small strip of felt on the back of paper pictures will make them cling to the fuzzy board -- the entire back surface of the picture does not need to be covered. Sandpaper can also be used as a backing by cutting thin strips of fine sandpaper (1/2" wide by 1" or 2" long) and gluing the strips to the backs of cardstock pictures or word/number cards. Large cards may need wider or larger pieces of rougher sandpaper to help support their weight. All sorts of visual aids for lessons can be used with flannel boards. Christian bookstores usually carry Sunday School lesson materials for felt boards, including great pictures of Bible heroes or generic pictures of children and families.

Ideas for Lessons:
Sorting -- Can you sort pieces by color? By shape? By size?
Counting -- How many of each color/shape/size?
Matching -- Can you find a piece that is the same color/shape/size as this one?
Patterns -- Circle, circle, square... can you make a pattern that matches this one?
Sequencing -- Red, red, blue, red, red... what comes next?
Explaining Processes (using flannel-graph letters or cards)-- To make the word kitty work for two kitties, we change this y to an i and add es.
Phonics & Spelling -- C-a-t, b-a-t, r-a-t... can you make more words that end with -at?
Reading -- Put these word cards together to make a sentence.
Fractions -- Is this rectangle divided into halves or fourths? (Use several squares in the same size to form rectangles.)
Arithmetic -- How many ways can you group these pieces? (Use matching sizes & shapes to teach addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, perimeter, and area. Ratios and percentages can be illustrated with a mix of colors, sizes, or shapes: 3 red squares and 1 blue square = 3/4 red and 1/4 blue, or 75% red and 25% blue.)

Felt shapes and felt-backed pictures can be used for just about anything you can think of. Let your creativity take over as you adapt the felt pieces and pictures to whatever lesson you are working on, and watch more applications come to mind the longer you use them. Whether you use this as an educational tool or a quiet-time toy, the learning possibilities will be unlimited!