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Questions from a First-time Homeschooler

December 1, 2005 by 1 Comment

I recently received an email from a new-to-homeschooling mom, asking several questions and expressing her anxiety over the first year of educating her children at home. Due to a glitch in the email system, her letter arrived with an incomplete email address, preventing me from answering her personally. Since her questions and comments (listed below in bold type) are of such general interest, allow me to answer them here in a more public forum and thereby share my advice, encouragement, and links to related articles with others who may need them also.

Dear Jane Doe,
What you referred to as the anxiety-producing elements of homeschooling are exactly the same as what I refer to as the guilt-producing aspects. My initial reaction to any homeschooling dilemma I encountered was certainly anxiety, followed quickly by guilt if and when I neglected to address the problem. I am convinced that each and every homeschooling parent deals with these feelings from time to time (which is why this website exists!). Please do not feel that you are alone; we have all been there.

You asked how to avoid the thoughts that intrude on your daily routine. I wish I knew. However, while I do not know how to prevent the thoughts from entering one’s head, I can recommend some ways I dealt with the thoughts once they occurred:
— I ignored them.
— I reminded myself of why we chose to do what we were doing.
— I made a list of our reasons for homeschooling and referred to it often.
— I talked to other homeschooling parents, and we encouraged each other.

What if I miss something?
Many new homeschooling families wonder if they are covering enough material, if they are doing enough activities, or if they are missing some important areas altogether. My advice is to take on this project of homeschooling in the same way you would take on any other project: make a plan, and then follow it. Begin by planning how to cover the academic basics: language & grammar, mathematics, science, history. Include the areas that are important to your family’s values: Bible, manners, sex education (from your family’s point of view). Add a few independent living skills as the opportunities arise: cooking, laundry, money management, home repair, auto maintenance. Balance it all out with your students’ areas of personal interests: music, sports, art, drama, animal care. Once you have taught your student how to teach himself through reading and research, you can turn him loose to learn any other supplemental things his little heart desires.

Obviously, a Kindergarten student does not need the same aggressive academic program that a high school student needs. Beginners and early elementary students need to master reading, handwriting, counting, adding, and subtracting before they can fully understand the concepts of history, geography, and science (subjects which can wait to be introduced until 4th grade). [See Where Do I Begin? and Too Much, Too Fast = Burnout]

What if the public school students are ahead in something?
Focus on what your student is doing and what your student needs help in. Your student may be ahead in some areas and behind in others, but it also may not matter very much in the grand scheme of things. (By the time they began high school, my students were ahead of their peers in mathematics and public speaking skills, but far behind their public-schooled peers in foul language and sexual promiscuity.) Back when we were all first-time parents, we were told not to worry about whose child rolled over first, whose child crawled first, or whose child got the first tooth. We were told that by the time they all were fifteen years old, no one would be able to tell which child did what first. The same applies to homeschooling: once our children reach their forties, no one will know (or care) at what age they first learned to use punctuation.

When my child misbehaves, is it because we are homeschooling?
It might be; but it might not be. If your child is objecting to pursuing education at home, behavior issues may occur. It may also be attributed to lesson plans that are not suited to your child’s style of learning. For example, if you are presenting a lesson on volume by merely asking your child to read the explanation in the math book, but your child would learn better by stacking and counting sugar cubes, the child just may not be “getting it” and is acting out his frustration. Another time the child may be bored because the material is too simple and would benefit from moving on to more advanced lessons. [See Learning Styles and Kids Will Be Kids]

What if they grow up to resent my homeschooling them?
Resentment can come from many sources. Immature people (regardless of age) resent anyone’s attempts to influence them. An immature child may temporarily resent being pulled away from what he or she considers to be social contacts of major importance. With maturity will come the realization that Mom and Dad knew best and did what they felt they had to do.

Some may point out that not every family claiming to “homeschool” is doing an adequate job. In the worst cases, I have to say that students can be truant from homeschooling as well as truant from public schooling, but both cases are more likely to be the result of parental neglect than educational neglect. In such situations, the lack of parental involvement will be resented more than the lack of schooling. [See “Parent” Is a Verb]

I know I should relax… I don’t want constant worry to ruin the experience.
Are you doing the best job that you can do at this time? Are you trying to learn what you can do to improve upon your weaknesses? That is all anyone can ask of you. Take one step at a time, handle one task at a time, and tackle one day at a time. You and your children are in this experience together — work together as a team and discover new things together. No one is ever too old to learn something new: education is a life-long process. As you focus on the experiences themselves, you will begin to realize how much your children (and you) are learning, instead of worrying about what your students are possibly missing. [See Do the Best Job You Can…]

I feel that God has called me to do this and that He wouldn’t ask me to do it and then not help me.
Very true. What God asks us to do, He also equips us to do. Now trust Him that He still knows what He is doing.

Every homeschooler I have ever spoken with has gone through the same thoughts of guilt or anxiety at some point in time. Some of us are able to overcome our feelings of inadequacy quickly, and others of us take a little longer and need more encouragement. Reach out to other homeschoolers you know and share your experiences with them. Chances are good that you will find that they have gone through the exact same emotions. However, a positive byproduct of sharing is that you will learn from each other, and you both may come away with some new techniques to try or some new ideas for activities and lessons. You may even decide to get your students together for group activities or field trips.

When I reached my second September as a homeschooling parent, I began to feel better about what I was doing. I had gone through this process at least once before, and I began to feel like a “veteran.” The longer I homeschooled my children, the more experience I had to fall back on, and the more I knew about my students and the ways in which they learned. I have said before that the first year of homeschooling is often the most difficult because it is entirely uncharted territory, both for the teacher and for the students. Do not give up too quickly. Be encouraged — your worst days may already be behind you.

[For further information on this topic, see Surviving the First Year of Homeschooling after Leaving Public School.]

Filed Under: Deciding to Homeschool, Encouragement for Parents, Homeschool How-To's

The Beauty of Logic (and Sudoku Puzzles)

November 11, 2005 by Leave a Comment

There are currently two distinct groups reading these words. The first group is those who are nodding their heads in agreement with the “beauty of logic” sentiment in the title and saying, “Yes, logic does have a certain beauty and precision.” The other group are non-math people who are wondering what in the world I could be referring to, while shaking their heads and thinking, “She has really gone off the deep end this time — logic is just painful and confusing!”

By “the beauty of logic,” I mean that there is always a right answer and a wrong answer in logical situations. You know where you stand with logic. Numbers, for example, are logical concepts with finite definitions: two always means exactly two; two never means three; two never means purple. Word meanings can become fuzzy and illogical, especially in the English language, where a word such as love can mean things as diverse as: 1) a deep emotional attachment [love my husband]; 2) nothing, such as a score of zero in a tennis game [two-love]; or 3) an intense desire for or appreciation of something [love this pizza; love that song].

I had tried to share my appreciation of math and logic with my children, but my young son’s distaste of anything math-related kept him from developing a similar emotion. Until now. The summer of his pre-calculus course revealed to him his true abilities in math, but his current semester of university math is opening the door to fun math and logic. And dragging him in. As a computer science major, he is taking a class with the tongue-twisting name of Combinatorics — an exploration of math as arrangements and patterns of numbers. That professor recently assigned some math puzzles of a sort that I have been doing for a long time just for fun. (Yes, I am a sick, sick person, and I do need to get out more often.) It seems that a large portion of the world is discovering these puzzles (now called “Sudoku”), as newspapers are adding them to their daily fare of crosswords and “Jumble” word puzzles.

My son was home for a weekend recently and inquired about these puzzles. He knew they were included in his upcoming assignments and wanted some inside information on how to solve them. Sudoku puzzles consist of a 9 x 9 grid in which the digits 1-9 are entered into each row, column, and 3×3-grid portion so that the digits do not repeat. Enter the Beauty of Logic concept. Logic dictates that the puzzles can be solved through systematic strategies, not merely through trial-and-error guessing. As I explained a few tips to my son for solving the puzzles, his admittedly-non-math-person girlfriend became interested and asked for a sample puzzle to try. When I headed to the computer to print some, my husband called after me, “Print one for me, too.” Our evenings since then have been consumed with clipboards, pencils, erasers, and puzzles as we compare notes on solving strategies and progress to higher difficulty levels.

Finding the one correct digit for any square of the puzzle should be done through a process of elimination: these could work, but those cannot work, so this one must work. I cannot arbitrarily decide that a three would look nice in this spot or that I have not used any fives lately, so I should give a five the opportunity to participate in this corner. The best digit for completing a row is not a matter for discussion: when the other eight digits have already been used, there can be only one possible choice for the final digit. The rules of the game specify that each of the digits must be used only once in each subsection. Therefore, if a digit appears twice, I must assume it is a mistake to be corrected, not something to be tolerated as an alternative solution. If you and I work at solving identical puzzles, our solutions should also be identical — if they do not match, we cannot both be right.

That is what I see as The Beauty of Logic: there are distinct strategies that can be employed to arrive at the correct answer; we do not have to stumble blindly, depending on guesswork and instincts to succeed. There can be many wrong answers, but there is one correct answer. Logic is not a matter of interpretation, nor is it different things to different people. A wrong answer is not open to debate. Incorrect answers must be changed, not tolerated or lauded as “diversity.” If only the rest of life could be so simple.

Filed Under: Activity Ideas, Encouragement for Parents, Learning Outside the Books, Math, Visual Learning

The Importance of Play in Education

September 21, 2005 by Leave a Comment

Back in the days when my children were toddlers and our home resembled a Fisher-Price obstacle course, I used to envy a local toy lending library. What if I could follow that method at home and keep all toys, books, and other childhood paraphernalia sorted into locked cabinets, allowing my “patrons” to borrow only three items per week? The restrictions could be expanded to enforce the replacement of all playthings after 5:00 pm and prohibit their removal before 9:00 am the next morning. Nothing would be allowed to remain on the floor in major traffic paths, puzzle pieces would never be lost (or eaten), and life would be peaceful and pleasant. That, however, was only a daydream, and like nearly all daydreams, it is not compatible with reality.

As messy as playtime can become, I have learned to see the tremendous value in it for education. When I enrolled my son in public Kindergarten (yes, that was a mistake, but I remedied it the following year), the teacher spent a brief time with each child and assessed their skills. She praised me for having given my son so many different experiences, from trips to the zoo to reading books to him. She praised his ability to use scissors, crayons, markers, and paintbrushes with relative proficiency. She said he ranked far above some of her previous students in his knowledge and talents. Silly me, all this time I had thought that was what parents were supposed to do with their children. What has filled the past five years, if a child entering Kindergarten has never used crayons or sat on a lap to hear a story?

I have friends who have recently returned from several years as missionaries in Africa. In hearing the mundane details of their daily routines, I began to see deeper into the value of children’s playtime. The toys I used to dread picking up day after day are not available to most African-bush children or to the poorer children of any culture. The education supplied by what we consider to be simple toys was demonstrated in the adult man who was employed as household help for this missionary family. He worked for them for several years and yet never could master the task of stacking the bowls, pans, or containers in the kitchen cupboards. The colorful, nesting cups that my children stacked into towers, knocked over, nested together, dumped out, and stacked again had not played a foundational role in this man’s education. As a result, he was not familiar with a concept that is so incredibly common to most of us. This gap in his education left him confused as to how to successfully arrange the kitchenware with largest on the bottom and smallest on the top. Repeated demonstrations and instructions did not help. His lack of experience in the early years had left a seemingly permanent mark.

Just as adults can become bored with doing the same repetitive tasks over and over, children also appreciate variety in their playtime. If I can belabor the nesting cups topic just a bit longer, any variety within that task will act to further the child’s understanding of the nesting concept, whether various shapes of cups (round, square, hexagonal, etc.) or different types of stackable items (paper cups, Mom’s measuring cups with handles, or an assortment of empty shoe boxes in graduated sizes). Other types of toys expand upon this same nesting principle: stacking colored rings onto a peg in size order, nesting dolls, even shape-sorter toys combine the principle of matching with nesting the object into its coordinating hole. Likewise, variety enriches lessons of all types for older children; hands-on learning goes much farther than simply breaking up the boredom.

Children learn from the moment they take their first breath, from learning how to express discomfort and that their expression results in someone’s attention to those needs, to observing how others around them eat, speak, walk, and draw pictures. Toy tools give early practice to the budding carpenters, just as toy kitchens help to prepare the future cooks. Puzzles teach problem solving, fine-tune motor skills, and improve observation and memory skills. Dolls offer children “parenting” opportunities, from dressing the baby to cuddling and comforting. Art and craft materials broaden a child’s ability to express his ideas, improve motor coordination, and satisfy the grandparents’ need for something to put on the refrigerator door. Stop for a moment to ponder the educational gaps in the child who grows up without any of these “playtime” skills.

It has been said that “play is a child’s work,” and there are many aspects where that is true. Children work hard at their playtime, often becoming physically exhausted through their efforts and needing a rest from playtime. We should also expect that they will experience mental fatigue when they have been engrossed in play tasks that require thinking and problem solving, such as nesting the boxes mentioned above (for the littlest ones) or assembling a jigsaw puzzle (for somewhat older children).

Moms and Dads, although your family’s collection of playthings may never seem to stop growing and rarely seems to be out from underfoot, be assured that those toys are serving a very valuable purpose in your little ones’ lives. The more experiences you can offer your children with widely varied play activities, including problem solving concepts or art and craft materials, the better equipped your children will be when it comes time for them to delve into “real” learning experiences.

[See also Sorting Toys Is Algebra]

Filed Under: Encouragement for Parents, Encouraging Your Student, Family Unity, Learning Outside the Books, Preschoolers, Tactile Learning

Homeschooling Is Hard Work

August 1, 2005 by Leave a Comment

As a young man, my father-in-law built houses. I doubt if he would have called it easy, and I think I could go so far as to say that building a house is hard work. But I am also quite sure he would have called it satisfying work, enjoyable work, and well worth the required effort. I watched him one day as he walked into my neighbor’s home, looked around a bit at the structural lines, and said, “Yep, I built this one.” The frame was many decades older, remodeling projects had changed a wall here and there, and the latest occupants had never seen it in its prime, but the master craftsman could still recognize his work.

Many things we do each day can be considered enjoyable and satisfying, even though they also fall into the category of hard work. Stripping the bed linens and stuffing them into the washing machine can be a chore, especially when bedrooms and laundry room are several floors apart. Carrying a basket of wet sheets outdoors and hanging them on the clothesline is also not an effortless task, but the sun-dried scent of clean cotton defies description. The delight of lying down upon cool, crisp bedding after a wearying day somehow trivializes the amount of work it took to accomplish the task.

Homeschooling your children is hard work. In the midst of this grueling task, we often have to remind ourselves of what our goal is and how much we will appreciate the reward when that job has been well done. Homeschooling can be either complicated or simplified in many ways, based on the tools we choose to use and the extravagance of the details we decide to add. If we have chosen the proper equipment to fit our task, we can progress smoothly — some days barely working up a sweat. At other times, we may compare our progress to hanging pictures with a sledgehammer and railroad spikes — it will get the job done, but the results may be less than desirable.

From time to time I found our homeschool “product” becoming less than satisfactory: the children were not learning the material as easily as I had anticipated, some or all of us were frustrated with the presentation of material, or some or all of us became bored with the materials, the lesson format, or schooling in general. Those were the times when teaching and/or learning were becoming hard work, with few rewards to maintain our focus or enjoyment of the task.

The first time this happened, we were brand new to homeschooling. I had purchased an all-in-one language arts program that was becoming very popular with the other homeschoolers I knew. My daughter looked at the material with some apprehension, but faithfully gave it a try. Day after day, we worked together on the lessons, and day after day she became more frustrated. One part of the lessons required me to dictate a story excerpt to her while she transcribed it into a notebook. As simple as that seemed in theory, it was tremendously difficult in practice. As we pressed on through increasingly trying days, I began to analyze the process, hoping to determine what was making this so hard. After all, the homeschool families I had talked with told me how their children progressed from one lesson to the next without difficulty — what were we doing wrong? Our first two months of homeschooling made us question our motives along with our sanity: how could we possibly continue on this path for an entire year, let alone multiple years?

It finally became evident that we were following the instructions accurately as laid out by the curriculum’s publisher, but their plan of action for this particular subject just did not fit our needs at this time. Heart-to-heart discussions with my daughter revealed what she was hoping to receive from homeschooling. Her public school classrooms had too few books to go around, and the students were required to copy their lessons into notebooks instead of writing directly in the workbooks. My daughter’s vision of homeschooling included being allowed to write in her very own workbook! I grabbed my stack of curriculum catalogs, and together we read through the descriptions, looking for a program that would meet her expectations besides providing the basic grade level instruction. As soon as the parcel-delivery service brought the desired package, our homeschool days underwent an amazing transformation. My student had her first personal work-text to write in, without any reprimands for doodling in the margins or plastering each completed page with “job well-done” stickers, gold stars, and smiley faces. The stigma of her public school experience was suddenly vanquished, and she became an overnight homeschooling enthusiast. We were no longer bashing the walls with sledgehammer and oversized spikes: we had the proper tools for our job.

Houses do not get built in a day (except through the “magic” of television), and children do not obtain an education overnight. Homeschooling takes dedication, hard work, and a little sweat, but hopefully not too many tears. While still in the midst of your mission, you can look around to see what has been accomplished so far, and from that obtain the encouragement needed to see this project through to completion. The reward will come when one day you look at the finished product and recognize a job well done.

Filed Under: Curriculum Choices, Deciding to Homeschool, Encouragement for Parents, Homeschool How-To's, Leaving Public School, Roadblocks to Learning

Homeschooling High School

July 6, 2005 by 1 Comment

The prospect of Homeschool High leaves many parents trembling in fear. A cold sweat breaks out on the forehead of the new homeschooling mom who dares to envision life a few too many years down the road. Moms have little real difficulty teaching a child how to tie his shoes, but those same moms will often cringe at the very thought of teaching high school.

A good high-school-at-home plan can be easily set up by using the basic entrance requirements for college, whether your student wants to attend or not. The student’s personal interests can be accommodated with some creative class development, and college-level classes can be utilized for high school and college credit at the same time through community colleges or distance learning programs.

If you have not been homeschooling previously, you will need to check your state’s laws regarding legal homeschooling accountability. It is best to check with a reliable source such as http://www.hslda.org/ — Home School Legal Defense Association — for the actual laws in each state, since local school districts are often ignorant of their state’s laws and can unintentionally mislead potential homeschoolers. Some states require you to file an “Intent to Homeschool” form with your school district; other states have no withdrawal procedure. Some states list which subjects must be taught in their homeschooling laws; others do not, meaning that there are no state-mandated requirements (i.e., Iowa lists no required subjects, but Pennsylvania has a detailed list).

You and your student need to decide if he is college-bound and what colleges are likely candidates. Check with those colleges and your state universities for a comparison of the basic admission requirements. Knowing how many years of math, science, English, and other classes are required for college admission will give you a basic plan for high school. Then, even if your student does not opt for college immediately after high school, you can still know that you have given him an excellent foundation for any future educational endeavors. I drew up a simple block chart with spaces for each grade (9th-12th) across the top and each subject area (math, English, science, social studies, and electives) down the sides. Then I penciled in our plan for what courses would be covered in which years. As I settled on specific books to use, those were also added to the spaces. It was a very basic guideline that changed several times over the years, but it gave us a place to start.

For a very rough outline of high school, begin with the basics of physical science (9th) and life science/biology (10th), a good foundational program for advanced grammar (9th and 10th) and the styles of composition writing (11th), algebra (9th), geometry (10th; Saxon Algebra 1 & 2 texts conveniently combine geometry with algebra in a clear and logical manner), world geography (9th), world history (10th), and American history (11th). Add in extra math and science courses when needed (11th and 12th), depending on your student’s career goals and interests. Literature (12th) can be split into one semester of American authors and one semester of foreign authors. Half-year or semester classes in American government (12th) and economics (12th) help to prepare your student for life in an adult world, as will courses in personal finances, independent living skills, auto mechanics, or home economics. Music lessons do not need to be formal classes: regular participation in congregational singing at church meets my personal requirement for a vocal music class. Most homeschooled children are naturally active outdoors, so be sure to count their regular outdoor chores or recreational bicycling, roller-blading, or swimming as physical education.

Once you have a basic plan of the required classes for high school, you can tailor those requirements to your student’s interests. My daughter became an ardent admirer of Abraham Lincoln as she focused her American history course around reading Presidential biographies. My son’s personal interests exhibited themselves as he taught himself to play guitar with little or no involvement from others; I counted this as a legitimate “course,” even though it did not have a textbook, a teacher, or an enrollment fee. The same principle applied to his learning percussion and earning a spot on the church worship team.

My daughter began working with tiny glass beads, threading them together into amazing patterns. A little internet research led her to animal designs, which she then strung together to form bracelets. She was making them for herself and as gifts for her friends, using the time as a relaxing diversion from her normal lessons. By the end of that year, she had designed so many intricate patterns herself that I gave her transcript-credit for “art projects.” She also spent a great deal of “free” time researching the collection of antique clothing buttons she had inherited from her great-grandmother. As her knowledge of button history increased, so did her list of credits — “Art History through Clothing Buttons.” One of her goals in life is to be a judge for state and national competitions among button collectors, so this course was tailored specifically to her interest.

We had a hearing-impaired friend who usually “listened” by lip-reading, since few people sign. My son wanted to learn sign language as a favor to her, and when a local church offered a free night class, he enrolled. He later went on two mission trips to a boarding school for deaf children, vastly increasing his knowledge through immersion in the language. Two years of experience with American Sign Language has now been accepted by his college as his high school foreign language requirement.

Other homeschooled friends of ours have pursued their interests during high school as preparation for their chosen career fields: veterinary medicine, aviation, real estate, computer science, agriculture/farming, etc. Exposure to a variety of career options can be gained through field trips or informal interviews with acquaintances for the student who has not yet decided on a lifetime goal.

Certain shortcuts can be implemented to make progress possible in the high school subjects where a student has difficulty. Textbooks may seem boring or tedious to certain learners, so consider the possibility of letting them read biographies related to the subject or read through a text very quickly, perhaps in only a few weeks, and then moving on to the next subject. Many students would rather push through a boring subject quickly and get it over with than drag it out for an entire year. We used videos as an aid to reading high school literature, so that a story line could be absorbed without losing precious hours getting bogged down in a not-so-interesting book. My student was then required to read a portion of the book to get a feel for the author’s writing style. The portion could be a page, a chapter, or even the entire book, based on the student’s interest. (A supplemental discussion topic from this approach was “the variations from book to movie” and how or why those variations took place.) Our public library had videos for many literary “classics” that the local video rental store did not have. Journey to the Center of the Earth, Jane Eyre, and Oliver Twist were easy to follow on-screen, giving us the context of the story, which was then followed by reading a portion from the book to see how the author had put those scenes on paper. Reluctant readers will usually watch a movie, and even picky movie watchers will endure a change from their favorite genre for the class credit. My daughter was eager to read the equivalents of chick-flicks such as Sense and Sensibility. My son, however, was allowed the more action-packed selections of The Man in the Iron Mask and The Hunt for Red October. Ironically, a mix-up at the video store left my son watching Jane Eyre one day when he found it accidentally slipped into the case of his chosen rental and he did not want to give up his planned afternoon of movie-watching.

Lab work is required in some science classes, but lab work simply means hands-on learning and experimentation. Biology lab work can be accomplished by studying plants and animals through gardening and pet-care, or collecting wildflowers, tree leaves, or insects and identifying them through reference books obtained at the public library. Labs do not need expensive or complicated equipment in order to impart knowledge. I have heard of homeschoolers who scooped up fresh “road kill” to use for dissection (although I must admit my reaction is EW!). Even flowers and seeds can be dissected and examined to learn how their basic parts differ among species. Do not assume that learning at home means a second-rate education: the vast resources available on the internet put incredible amounts of knowledge right at our fingertips.

Before you protest that you did not do well yourself in high school, let me say that you now have a second chance. I know a Mom who wanted to read and discuss literature with her son, so she went to the public library and checked out two copies of a book at the same time: his and hers. I tackled the higher math lessons right along with my son, reasoning that if he became confused on a concept halfway through the book, I did not want him to have to wait around while I studied the last 30 lessons to be able to help him with the one that stumped him. Yes, these methods do mean more work for Mom, but they are excellent ways for your students to see education as a lifelong endeavor, and they provide common ground, a unique bond between you and your student — goals I consider well worth the effort.

I have often advocated taking advantage of community college classes to complete the high school courses that may be more difficult to do at home: chemistry, physics, calculus, etc. My children were able to accumulate multiple college credits in this way while still in high school. One college counselor instructed me to specify the college classes on the students’ high school transcripts as “a college class, taken on a college campus, from a college instructor, with other college students.” College-level classes are often available at public high schools, but college administrators do not view them as identical to the classes taken in the actual college atmosphere.

However, there are a few things to be aware of before dropping your impressionable high school-aged students off at the college doorstep. The assignment expectations are often much greater than students usually handle in high school. The college “atmosphere” includes a vocabulary that is R-rated, not PG-13, and classmates with questionable reputations and worse recreational pursuits. I cannot recommend involvement in college theatrical departments for conservative Christian students: the subject matter chosen is usually extremely liberal. Speech class topics, literature excerpts, and English compositions will also likely include “mature subject matter.” Art appreciation and drawing/painting/sculpture classes will include exposure to human figures lacking apparel. If your student is mature enough to handle these situations gracefully, he or she will probably do well in the college setting. I do recommend taking classes on a part-time basis (1 or 2 classes at a time) to start and attending full-time only after the student is 18 years old (the age of most college freshmen).

To successfully homeschool high school, start with a solid foundation of college entrance requirements. Fulfill those requirements to the best of your ability and with a bias toward the student’s interests and consider using college classes to complete any classes that you find too difficult to accomplish at home. I personally enjoyed my students’ high school years of homeschooling more than the elementary grades because of the wonderful one-on-one discussions my students and I had about their studies and life in general. High school at home is not a fearsome thing to be dreaded; it is an exciting adventure to be anticipated.

Filed Under: Encouragement for Parents, High School, Homeschool How-To's, Transcripts

Homeschooling an Only Child

April 26, 2005 by Leave a Comment

Two questions are asked with surprisingly equal frequency: “How can I teach more than one child at a time?” and “How can I homeschool my only child?” It is true that the only-child presents his own unique situation to homeschooling. While it may be simpler to prepare and execute lessons for only one student, there are also many educational scenarios in which only one student presents a distinct disadvantage. (A similar set of circumstances arises from siblings who are five or more years apart in age — while they may share the same home setting, they are often too far apart academically to share lessons or educational activities, theoretically producing an only-child-with-siblings.)

The primary concern of most parents homeschooling an only-child is that he will not acquire the social skills gained from interacting with peers his own age. While that may be true during his time spent on lessons, it certainly does not have to be the case for the remainder of his time. Opportunities abound for recreational sports, scouting groups, and church events with age-mates, even if there is no homeschool support group available for cooperative classes or field trips.

I spoke recently with a homeschool mom who undertook the challenge to organize a specific homeschool group activity that she wanted her child to participate in. The event had not been held previously in her area, but she felt strongly enough about it to leave her comfort zone and coordinate the project herself. The event was progressing with great success when I met with her, and she was bubbling over with enthusiasm for the cooperative effort. Perhaps having only one child is your opportunity to step up in organizing an activity you feel strongly about with other families. This does not destine you to putting together all the events for your area or that you need to coordinate your entire life with other families, but planning an occasional event may be appreciated by the mothers who have less time to plan than you do. (Every homeschooling family has something to offer the others in their area, and we can all benefit from sharing our meager “talents.”)

The only-child has the advantage of being able to monopolize Mom’s attention without difficulty, since there are no other students with whom he has to share her time. This can lead to the single student failing to learn how to teach himself — Mom is always available, so there is no need to learn to study by himself. The other extreme is also quite possible: the highly motivated single student can become so independent that he feels no need for interaction with anyone. “All things in moderation” applies to homeschooling just as well as to many other areas of life: strive for a balance of one-on-one tutoring in your student’s difficult subjects and allowing him to work independently in the areas where he does not struggle.

After my daughter had graduated from homeschooling and entered college fulltime, I found myself in an only-child scenario with my son. Suddenly he had no one else for companionship or competition, and I was expected to fill the bill. Math became our area for working together, and he did most of his other subjects on his own with only occasional direction from me. He lacked speed and drive in completing his math assignments at that point in time, and using me for a “classmate” helped to spur him on. This was a higher level of math than I was familiar with, so I studied the lesson and copied the problems into my own notebook, then handed the textbook over for him to study the lesson and begin solving the problems as we worked together at the dining room table. He enjoyed stumping Mom whenever he could, so he would push himself to work faster and try to get beyond my progress. Some days he would get started on the lesson before I did, prompting me to play catch-up. Fortunately, math is my strong suit, and he could seldom complete a round of problems before I did. Devoting my time to learning pre-calculus at this stage of life was a sacrifice that I felt was more important than getting my housework out of the way. The laundry could sit for one more hour — my attention was required elsewhere.

Homeschooling the only-child offers nearly limitless discussion possibilities, spontaneous field trip opportunities, and situations for following fascinating educational bunny-trails. The only-child’s teacher must stand in many times as a classmate, lab partner, or peer companion, but those situations do provide practice in the interpersonal interaction required for group dynamics later. Whenever circumstances allow, take advantage of contact with others — whether playmates, teammates, or the casual contacts of fellow shoppers. Engage your child in safe conversations with your casual acquaintances while shopping to reduce his apprehension of speaking in public. Some families have found situations for involving their children in serving others, such as visiting elderly friends in a nursing home or doing simple yardwork chores for elderly neighbors. The only-child who will be uncomfortable in group situations is the one who has not interacted with anyone face-to-face, but has been allowed to disappear into his room interfacing only with video games.

When I was a little girl, my neighbor’s granddaughter would come to visit for a week in the summertime. This girl was the only child of older-than-the-norm, highly educated parents, and although she was several years younger than I, her knowledge and perspective were far beyond mine. Since I was the only available playmate in the neighborhood, I was asked to go “entertain” her. We played together many times, but I always felt like she was the one entertaining me. She lived in a world of intellectual adults and discussed topics from their points of view. I was brought into the picture to ensure that she got a few opportunities to be a child.

With your only-child, try to balance their interests between childhood and adulthood — include many age-appropriate activities along with the intellectual pursuits that may be advanced beyond the student’s chronological age. We unconsciously often expect a child to adapt to our adult way of thinking and acting, when we could more easily adapt ourselves to the child’s level. I cannot think of a single adult I know who would not benefit from a relaxed afternoon of kite-flying, taking a casual nature walk, reading aloud from Winnie the Pooh or Alice in Wonderland, or other equivalent pursuit in the company of a child. Stopping to smell the proverbial roses brings many more delights than appear on the surface level.

Teaching only one child may require more attention to hands-on, and sometimes hands-off, learning as you work at balancing tutoring with independent study. Teaching only one child allows you to drop the schedule on a whim to pursue a deeper interest. Teaching only one child requires you to offer suitable occasions for integrating your student with others, whether in play, in shopping, or in service opportunities. Although there are challenges to overcome with only one student, teaching only one child offers you an even closer relationship with your child, by being his classmate and confidante as well as being his parent and teacher.

Filed Under: Encouragement for Parents, Encouraging Your Student, Homeschool How-To's, Socialization

Involving Dads in Homeschooling

March 23, 2005 by Leave a Comment

Moms often ask how to include their husbands in the homeschooling process. Dad is doing his best to earn the living that makes homeschooling possible, but he also may feel like he is not directly involved with the children’s education. There are many facets of education, and Dad can fit in during the free time he does have. Dad’s time with the children may often be limited, but it is always worth waiting for.

Reading — My husband did not read great quantities of books to our children, but he did read certain books over and over to them. Children know their favorite books by heart and instantly recognize anything added in or left out. His favorite trick was including a lizard that was never in the actual stories. He would be reading along and just say the word “lizard” while turning a page, change a character’s name to Larry the Lizard, or add an entirely new sentence about how the lizard who lived next door came over to play. The children shrieked with delight at every lizard, and lovingly scolded Dad that there was not supposed to be a lizard in that book.

Dads add character voices and sound effects all their own, beyond the bounds of Mom’s repertoire. It may be the deep resonance of Dad’s voice that can be physically felt while snuggled against his chest, but there is something extra-special about sitting in Daddy’s lap for a book.

Sports — My non-sports-nut husband took our kids biking, hiking, sledding, swimming, skating (standard & inline), bowling, and fishing, usually after a long, tiring day at work. He drove them to soccer practice, attended every game, and even helped out as assistant coach for a season. He got down and dirty playing paintball with our teenaged son and other dads and lads. Meanwhile, Mom, whose idea of cutting-edge sports is doing the Sunday crossword puzzle in ink, was very glad to have Dad’s enthusiastic partnership. No matter how hard I have tried, my athletic ability is moot. What I lack in talent and coordination I try to make up in enthusiasm. I would happily hold the family’s accumulated belongings while my husband accompanied the children on every ride the amusement park offered, knowing there was not enough motion-sickness medicine on the planet to get me through the three minutes of torture from a single ride. Without my husband’s participation, our children’s lives would have been sadly idle.

Rough-housing — Dads play horsey; Moms cuddle & kiss boo-boo’s. Children know that Dad will wrestle and toss them into the air and swing them around and around. Dads make every event thrilling just by being Dad. Too many times to count, I have said, “No, you probably shouldn’t do that — it looks dangerous,” only to have my husband grin and say, “Why not? Let’s try it!” I gave in because my husband was there to supervise, participate, or control the situation from getting out of hand. Dad added an element of surprise, a thrill of adventure, and a safety net all at the same time.

Dads teach weekend home improvement and car maintenance, as much through letting Little Brother watch as through actually allowing Bigger Brother help. Our Christmas breaks were often a time for our son to be Dad’s apprentice for painting, wiring the garage, removing wallpaper, or numerous small projects around the house. At age 18 my son readily stepped into the handyman roll at a friend’s apartment, having practiced the basics with Dad and Grandpa from a very young age.

Some homeschooling families are able to share the teaching responsibilities — we know a few Dads who like to teach their children upper level math and science. Other families have found that Dad’s work schedule did not allow him to contribute very often to the actual teaching process, and Mom could adequately cover their academics. Whatever and whenever Dad can participate, his contribution will leave a lasting impact. Dads are exciting — no matter what they do, it becomes an adventure, while Moms teach quietly unexciting homemaking skills. Dads use tools like drills and saws; Moms use rubber spatulas.

Include Dad in your homeschooling at every opportunity. It will be as much of an adventure for him as it is for Mom and the children. Remember, it does not have to involve books to be education.

Filed Under: Auditory Learning, Encouragement for Parents, Family Unity, Homeschool How-To's, Kinesthetic Learning
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