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Rainy Day — A Post-Homeschooling Perspective

March 18, 2005 by Leave a Comment

[This article was written by Jennifer Morrison.]

It is raining today. The type of rain that is so heavy that when a drop hits your nose, and they frequently do, it is heavy, and bounces all over. The water quickly soaks your pants as you briskly walk to the car, but you do not really mind because it is just warm enough to be ok. The cloud cover is heavy, and makes even the indoor lights seem dimmer.

I remember many such days like this from when I still attended public school. Everyone’s nerves were on edge because the weather was unpleasant, and recess was held indoors (in quarters that were way too close) instead of being able to go outside and run. I found myself hating the rain, and letting my mood become changed because of that awful, nasty rain.

Today however, when the first raindrops hit my face, I smiled. I saw how the rain was washing away all the salt from the winter road protection. I saw how God was giving the world a much-needed bath. I thought about how dehydrated I get in the dry environment that I work at, and how the earth was getting a much needed drink. As I thought more and more about the rain, my only depression came from the thought that I was being kept indoors for work, and that I could not go play in the gutters, racing sailboats with my brother, or just running through the mud with my dog (who, believe me, loves mud!).

When we homeschooled, we were encouraged to enjoy the rain, we took naps, or read a book to the calmness of the rain. I learned of God’s beauty, and find myself now thinking about HIS plan before complaining about things. Imagine how I could have let a perfectly good rain ruin my day simply because of how it used to make everyone at school cranky. Instead I can see God’s perfection, His provision, and His love, and I smile with every raindrop that hits me, and laugh as my pants get soaked.

Maybe it’s silly, but sometimes I think a good soak in the rain feels like a big wet hug from that friend who just came off of a water ride or out of the pool and grabs you, to make sure you get soaked too, and you both laugh.

Filed Under: Encouragement for Parents, Homeschool v. Public School

What Is Your “Best”?

March 11, 2005 by Leave a Comment

“Do your best!” We have all said those words before soccer games and piano recitals, and we usually have said them without any reflection whatsoever upon what we actually might mean by them. “Best” can be a relative term, meaning different things to different people at different times. “Best” varies. Apply the following line of thinking to yourself first, and when you have a handle on it personally, you can better apply it to your children for your expectations of them and for their own expectations of themselves.

Example #1: Hello, my name is Carolyn, and I am a procrastinator. (I do not seek to mock any of the stepped programs for dealing with addictions, but I am simply borrowing their easily recognizable introduction line.) I have a problem; recognizing and acknowledging the existence of my problem is the first step to overcoming it. I have realized that constantly putting things off is harmful to myself and also to those around me. However, I have further realized that I am not always able to deal with everything at the moment it arises.

“Controlled Procrastination” is my new motto — some things will be dealt with immediately, others will be dealt with in a timely manner, when I am able. When I become overwhelmed with too much to do, I try to reprioritize what is most important and decide what can be effectively put off until another time. I then make a mental “contract” with myself that I will accomplish the delayed task (or tasks) by a certain time, date, or circumstance, thereby holding me accountable for the task at another time, but relieving me from the burden of unearned guilt. Knowing that I am not over-burdening myself during times of stress makes it easier for me to accomplish more during easily productive times. I do what I can do, when I can do it, and I free myself from the guilt of trying to do my best best all of the time.

Your best is the best you can do. My best is not your best; your best is not mine. My current best, due to temporary limitations, is not the same as my usual best. Let your current circumstances determine what level of performance you will try to achieve, knowing that at other times that level may change. Trying to maintain an “ideal best” under “less than ideal” circumstances will only heap undeserved guilt upon yourself. In the case that you are surrounded by multiple children under the age of eight, you can expect your best to improve significantly as they age and grow closer to self-sufficiency.

Example #2: I have at least one over-achieving child (ok, both of them, but for now I’m only referring to one). That faithful student seemed to believe that “do your best” meant to take on more than was humanly possible. More than once, I sat down with said child for a refresher course in “only your best is acceptable.” If the student is making his best attempt at the task at hand, that is certainly all that should be expected of him — nothing more.

If my child has worked hard to master memorizing and reciting a three-stanza poem, I must not expect him to recite one of Longfellow’s book-length works. However, since this student and I both know he is capable of memorizing the three-stanza poem, we have equal expectations for his success. Never mind the fact that all the children from the ultra-super-more-than-over-achieving homeschool family will be reciting for hours at the end-of-the-year homeschool program — that is their best, not yours.

Example #3: Young students, especially those still struggling with penmanship, tend to strive for textbook standards of perfectionism. Unfortunately, their efforts are often unsuccessful and result in frustration for both student and teacher. Keep some copies of their previous work to review: seeing actual evidence of his progress will help restore the child’s confidence in himself. During their first years of schooling, children’s handwriting may undergo dramatic changes every few weeks or months. Looking back over past work will show the student how his best has changed.

We all need to recognize the limits of “our best,” whether we are temporarily restrained or continually tempted to perfectionism. If you are pregnant or otherwise constrained by health, have multiple children including toddlers, are changing houses or jobs or involved in other serious life-upheaval situations, bring your standards into alignment with your current reality. Recognize the fact that Wonder Woman was only a two-dimensional fictional character. You, my Guilt-Free friend, are much more than that.

Filed Under: Behavior, Doing Your "Best", Encouragement for Parents, Encouraging Your Student, Homeschool v. Public School, Parenting

Common Homeschooling Myths Dispelled

February 24, 2005 by Leave a Comment

1) I could not stand to be with my children all the time. If you cannot stand to be around your own children, something is drastically wrong. Ask yourself why you do not like your children, and then take steps to fix that problem. This is a serious problem that needs to be addressed, no matter where your children are educated. If you just have not spent much time with your children up to this point, you may expect the transition period to take a little longer, but the more time you spend together, the more you all really get to know each other and come to enjoy each other’s company.
2) I would need a college degree in education to homeschool my children. Thousands of parents all over the world are successfully teaching their own children, without benefit of any higher education themselves. Some parents successfully homeschool who have not even completed high school themselves. Parents can learn right along with their children.
3) I do not know how to teach. Explaining any concept is teaching, so if you have given driving directions, demonstrated proper throwing/batting technique, or shown someone how to change a tire or how to set the table, you have taught. Most new homeschool parents simply do not realize how much teaching experience they already have. If you truly need assistance in explaining the educational material to your students, teacher’s manuals are available for most curricula, and many give step-by-step guides for interacting with young students.
4) I could not teach things I do not know — like calculus or violin. Academic subjects (like calculus) are all explained in the textbooks, so you can learn it right along with your student, and teach it to them if/when they become stumped. (Some adept students may be able to teach themselves higher math by studying the textbook.) Other things (such as music lessons) can be learned from a private teacher, just as any student takes piano lessons from a private teacher.
5) I am too disorganized to homeschool. If you are already able to exist in your home, you are probably able to homeschool. Organization helps, but it can be tackled a little bit at a time as the needs arise. Some families start simply by keeping each child’s books, pencils, and other supplies in a box, and stacking the boxes in an out-of-the-way place during non-school times.
6) I could only teach one child at a time. With practice, it becomes easier to get older children started on their work first, then spend time working with the younger ones. An older child can help a young reader practice while Mom is busy elsewhere. One child may do their daily chores, eat breakfast, shower, or do an easy subject while Mom helps another child with their difficult work. Homeschooling does take teamwork, but in time, you will all learn how to cooperate together.
7) My children will not listen to me. A miraculous transformation takes place the first time Student asks a question and Mom gives the answer: suddenly Mom is viewed as Teacher. (If your children absolutely will not listen to you, refer to Myth #1 — again, this is a serious problem no matter where their education comes from.)
8) My children will not have any friends. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Look at the friends your children currently have and consider if your child would be better off without their influence. The only friends you will lose through homeschooling are the ones you want to give up. You can still play with neighbors, church friends, scouting friends, soccer or Little League or T-ball friends, etc.
9) My children will not learn how to interact with other people. You have no people in your family? You live in a dark cave, 500 miles from your nearest neighbor? You never go to a store or a doctor’s office? What your children will not learn is how to become mindless automatons who cannot do anything without instructions.
10) My children will never leave the house. Homeschool support groups abound for children’s activities, Moms’ support, family potlucks, etc. Field trips can be spontaneous family activities or organized with large groups. Homeschool families have the advantage of taking off “gorgeous days” and doing schoolwork when others have a “snow day.” With trips to the grocery store, Wal-Mart, and play-days at the park, there will be days when you will feel like you are never at home!
11) My children could not go outside during school time. Shopping trips double as consumer math class when you teach a little comparison-shopping to your students. A doctor’s visit becomes a field trip when you ask a few extra questions. All children benefit from outdoor activity or recess. You are just not bound to following public school schedules. (Curious shoppers usually accept the answer “We’ve got a half-day off from school.”)
12) My spouse and I both have to work. “Have to” is not the same as “want to.” Many families today consider “luxuries” to be “necessities.” Take a serious look at where your money is going before you completely close the door on homeschooling. Often the second income is being spent primarily on child care before and after school, a professional wardrobe for the 2nd wage earner, and convenience foods because no one has time to prepare meals. In other cases, responsible older students have been able to do their schoolwork alone during the day, and then discuss the lessons with working Mom & Dad in the evenings. (Single parents have also been able to successfully homeschool through creative scheduling or work-at-home situations.)
13) Homeschooling would take too much of my time. Most of the time in public school classrooms is spent waiting: waiting in lines, waiting for students to be quiet and pay attention, waiting while the teacher deals with 20+ other students, etc. Careful studies have shown that less than 2 hours per day is spent in actual teaching and learning in public school classrooms. Homeschooling eliminates the need for much of those time-wasting activities, allowing homeschool students to complete all the work required for a day in a short period of time. The rest of the day can be spent in personally chosen activities: developing a hobby, working ahead on schoolwork, individual sports and recreation, family activities, household chores, etc.
14) Homeschooling costs a lot of money. Without the peer pressure of public school fashion or extra costs for school trips or school lunches, homeschooling can be quite economical. Some curriculum materials can be used over and over, whether by your own children or resold to other families.
15) Homeschoolers have to be tested each year by the public schools. The laws governing private education vary from state to state. Check with Home School Legal Defense Association (http://www.hslda.org/) for a listing of the laws in your state. Many options are available for compliance with the law, and yearly testing is not always required.
16) Homeschooling only works through the elementary grades. Homeschooling works just as well through high school and college. There are many curriculum options available for homeschooling through the upper grades (even through college).
17) My children could not participate in sports. Many families take advantage of city-sponsored recreational leagues, YMCA/YWCA children’s teams, or dual-enroll their children in the public schools specifically to participate in sports, music classes, foreign language classes, etc. while completing the bulk of their academic work at home. Large homeschool support groups now often organize sports teams and hold their own games and tournaments with other homeschool groups or private schools.
18) My children could not do science experiments at home. Science can be effectively taught at home, even without expensive lab equipment. Some homeschool curriculum suppliers now rent lab equipment. Homeschool families often pool their resources and share equipment and expenses, sometimes teaching cooperative classes together. Community colleges have accepted homeschool high school students into chemistry, physics, and other classes, enabling the student to earn college credit at the same time he is earning high school credit for the same class.
19) Homeschoolers do not get a diploma. Homeschool families may purchase diplomas and diploma covers or design their own diploma on their home computers. (Public school diplomas are also designed on someone’s computer and signed by a person who may not even be a parent or has never spent time with the individual students.)
20) Homeschoolers have to get a GED instead of a diploma. A homeschool high school diploma is valid. A homeschool transcript and ACT or SAT test score are accepted for college admission.
21) Homeschoolers cannot get into college. Colleges now routinely recruit homeschoolers, knowing that they are eager, self-motivated learners (and generally not party animals).
22) Homeschoolers cannot get into military service. All branches of the U.S. military now accept homeschoolers on the same level with high school graduates. Homeschool graduates rank above GED recipients in the military.
23) Homeschoolers never smile. Homeschooling brings out your best, so if your best is smiling, laughing, and having a good time, you will. If, however, frowning with a sour disposition is the best you can muster, well…

Filed Under: Deciding to Homeschool, Encouragement for Parents, Homeschool v. Public School, Top 10 (and other) Lists

Sick Days, Snow Days, and Other Interruptions

February 1, 2005 by 4 Comments

One of the Frequently Asked Questions I get from new homeschoolers is “What do you do about sick days?” I always answer with a smile: “It depends on how sick they are.” It can also depend on who is sick — teacher or student.

If a child is attending public school, there will be days when you just are not sure whether to send him or not: Johnny has a bad cold, but no fever; Mary ran just the tiniest temp for only a few hours last night and now seems bright and bouncy. They are not really well, but they are not really sick either. I preferred to keep my children home when their immune systems were already compromised, away from the germ factories known as classrooms. However, the school administration took a different view of things: they informed me that my child was “missing too much school” and must attend whether she had pink eye or not. No, I don’t think so. That only confirmed my suspicions that the building was full of sick people, sharing their viruses with one and all. My daughter stayed home until our doctor okayed her return. (The public school criteria for true “illness” was the presence of vomiting or a high fever; otherwise the child was deemed “healthy” and expected to be in class — no matter how contagious.)

Once we began homeschooling and my children felt a little bit ill, but still felt able to do some work, I gave them the option of doing only their favorite subjects. Reading was my daughter’s activity of choice, so it could usually continue unless she had a really painful headache. If the student was too sick for sitting up and doing a workbook, but were not totally incapacitated, they were allowed to watch videos. Anything remotely educational was preferred, allowing me to count the day as a school day for them, rather than getting completely behind in our schedule. Games could also be played by the not-so-sick child, again redeeming some educational value from the day. If the legal requirements of your state include keeping attendance charts and detailed classwork accounts, then a light schedule for a sick child might be counted as only half a day.

When Mom is the sick one, the schedule may go completely out the window — unless your students are responsible enough to follow an assignment chart without much assistance. In the case of extended morning sickness, I advise shifting your school time to the hours when Mom feels good enough to handle it. Everyone will survive a slight change in scheduling, and once that season has passed, you can all resume a more regular routine.

The day will come when a particularly ruthless germ invades your home and knocks everyone flat on his back. That is the time to cancel classes without adding guilt. You will all just need to lie down, be sick, and get it over with. Take as much time as is needed to recuperate — you will regain your strength faster if you allow your body to get the rest it so desperately needs. I remember one very nasty siege we went through where Mom, Dad, and daughter were all down with a virus, leaving our young son to care for us. That little trooper must have felt as if he was king of the hill! He made us simple meals (standing on a stepstool to reach the dishes in the upper cabinets) and brought us our medications and orange juice. He could not have been more than seven years old. We repeatedly called him Our Hero, as he proudly nursed us through several days until we had the strength to stand again. He did not succumb to that sickness, and we still praise his bedside manner (and immune system), years later.

Snow days — when the public schools are not in session due to inclement weather — present a different problem. If your home is not surrounded by dozens of neighborhood children building snowmen, sledding, and having snowball fights, then you may be able to carry on a normal day’s routine, without even noticing the change in others’ plans. If, however, your children can sense their neighborhood playmates suiting up in parkas, boots, and mittens, the decision is yours as to whether you want to let them play all day or battle for their attention. We had a favorite saying for just this occasion: “Homeschoolers don’t get snow days off — we get gorgeous days off.” We could usually ignore the rare public school snow day and stick to our own schedule, but we were the nasty family going for a walk in the middle of that first lovely warm day in March. My children were the ones riding their bicycles or roller-blading past the nearby middle school every nice day after lunch, much to the envy of the students watching out the institution’s windows.

When we took a “gorgeous” day off, it was usually because Dad could join us for a picnic, spontaneous field trip, or nature hike around our favorite lake, allowing us plenty of educational opportunities to document for the school day. These events do tend to ruin tightly scripted schedules, so I learned over the years to plan fewer lessons than the legally required number of schooldays. I did not always hold rigidly to the plans I made, realizing that “life happens,” and I needed to have flexibility built into my schedule.

Other interruptions will crop up when you are the least prepared for them — a broken bone, a job transfer to another state, the serious illness or death of a grandparent, or worse. During times of catastrophic interruptions, strip your class schedule down to the bare minimum requirements and reassure yourself that “this, too, shall pass.” You will all need extra time to deal with the emotions accompanying your present disaster, so make time for family activities and enjoy your moments together — taking two hours off to watch a video cuddled together on the sofa can be a very healing experience. Life will eventually get back to its more normal pace and you can catch up on the other subjects later. It is important to remind ourselves that life — real life — does not fit into a carefully planned schedule: we take it one day at a time, and we deal with each day as it comes.

Consider the real-life lessons your children will receive from seeing how to deal with a family crisis. It is very helpful to have the memory of seeing adults grieve, adapt, make plans, and move on with what needs to be done in life. When children are completely sheltered from the matters usually tended to by adults, they have no knowledge of how to deal with these things themselves when the time comes.

My brother-in-law died unexpectedly when I was in eighth grade, and I was rushed off on the school bus that morning and expected to carry on as if it was any other day — no explanations, no time to grieve, nothing. I was allowed to miss classes long enough to attend his funeral, but otherwise, I had no clue as to what went into those few days. During our homeschooling days, we spent extended periods of time doing math lessons in hospital waiting rooms while grandparents underwent surgeries or the final days of life. The math was a “normal” activity that helped my children cope, but they also would not have wanted to be kept at home, away from their loved ones. My children (ages 11 and 14 then) gained a true picture of life during that time: they were in the midst of it all, alternately receiving and offering comfort and encouragement, not isolated in an artificial environment called “the classroom.”

Adapt to life as it happens — your schedule should be your tool, not your master. Every deviation from your normal routine provides another opportunity for real-life lessons. Make the best of the bad situations, whether you are demonstrating on-the-spot first aid, sickroom care, or snow sculpture engineering, and never underestimate the education that will be gained from the interruptions to your schedule.

Filed Under: Encouragement for Parents, Homeschool How-To's

Screening — Paying Attention to Red Flags

December 15, 2004 by Leave a Comment

Be aware of what is being taught in any outside groups in which your children participate. Just because your friends approve of a certain group, it does not mean that you also have to approve or will approve of the same group. This applies to church-sponsored youth groups, church-sponsored Bible classes or clubs, scout troops, homeschool co-op classes, library story hours, etc. If you have already chosen to homeschool your children, you are obviously rather particular about what things they learn and how they learn them. If your children are currently enrolled in a public or private school, you may be noticing attitude changes taking place that correspond to their participation in specific activities, clubs, groups, etc.

Any changes in your child’s typical behavior should call you to attention. The changes may be positive ones, in which case you want to take notice of what caused the change and see if you can use that tactic in other areas as well to produce additional positive results. If, however, the changes in your child’s behavior are towards more negative behavior, you will want to investigate what has prompted those changes in order to correct a small problem before it becomes a major disaster.

Does your child look forward to attending the group/activity, or does the child suddenly become unruly, stubborn, and disruptive as the appointed time draws near? Does your child tell you about the group in great detail, or is it nearly impossible to glean any details whatsoever (especially noteworthy in a usually talkative child)? Does the child exhibit markedly different behavior upon returning home from the group/activity — is his attitude towards parents or siblings undesirable: rude, selfish, or extraordinarily superior? These are red flags, telltale signs that your child may be receiving teaching/coaching/prompting that is contrary to your family’s values. It may be coming from the leader of the group/activity or from friends he encounters at the group. Whatever the source, you will want to look deeper into the situation before it becomes a bigger problem.

Offer to assist the teacher with “crowd control” as a subtle way to check out what values are being passed on to your students. Mild differences can be discussed with your students before or after the class while still gaining as much benefit as possible from the class/activity itself. Major differences of value systems may require that your family withdraw their participation from the group. If the group is worth being involved with, it is worth your time as well as your child’s. Volunteer in whatever capacity will obtain you the spot you need in order to see what is going on. Speaking as a former leader, I would never have refused an offer of help; extra hands were always appreciated, whether the group was large or small.

We have run up against other children whose families simply had different values from ours. A brief discussion of “family values” with our children helped to clarify things for them, so that they could evaluate others’ points of view and determine for themselves what was worthy of ignoring. At other times, we found ourselves head-to-head with an important difference of philosophy from the leadership of an entire group. In those situations, we had to spend a great deal of time in soul-searching, family discussions, and meeting with the group leadership in efforts to rectify differences. When the problem was simply a misunderstanding, getting everything out in the open would quickly clear up any problems. Other, larger confrontations stemmed from troubles deep within organizational structures. Investigative probing revealed difficulties so vast that we knew our family’s voice could not have any positive influence. In those situations, we saw that it was time to pull out. When we deemed it necessary, we left immediately; other times we felt it beneficial to stay until a desired activity was concluded, then slip quietly away.

We have encountered anti-family philosophies in a wide assortment of organizations, all claiming to be child-centered and family-oriented. As I have said before, the proof is in the pudding. I have learned not to be fooled by words; anyone can say anything they like. A very wise pastor once said that you can tell a wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing by what he eats: wolves eat sheep. A wolf may disguise himself for a while, but sooner or later he has to eat a sheep — it’s what he does; it’s what he is; he cannot change his nature.

I became justifiably suspicious when told by a leader that parents were not allowed to sit in with the group, even when it met in that parent’s home. One leader pulled my child aside and coached the child, “You don’t agree with your parents, do you!” I have confronted administrators, forcing them to admit that, although they did not approve of what their underlings were teaching to children and felt it was wrong to do so, they would not take any measures to correct the behavior. I have also met face-to-face with parents who were not aware of their own children’s poor conduct, who thanked me for bringing it to their attention, and who took steps on the spot to reinstate the damaged relationship between our families.

I may sound rather cynical, but it is only because I have become cynical through misplaced trust. I now know (after more than a decade of homeschooling) that my children’s parents are the best teachers for them, and my children realize this fact also. We have all been taught through the school of experience that no one’s best intentions can replace the care and concern of family. If something about a group bothers you, consider that to be a red flag, and start looking around. As you screen things through your own “values filter,” you may find it to have a simple solution. You may occasionally find a much larger can of worms, but you will be grateful in the end that you took the effort to look. Your child is at stake. The risk is too great to ignore.

Filed Under: Behavior, Encouragement for Parents, Family Unity, Homeschooling as a Lifestyle, Parenting

If You Have Children, You DO Homeschool

December 3, 2004 by Leave a Comment

During my daughter’s last year in public school (4th grade), we were already homeschooling, but we just did not realize it at the time. Recognizing how much I was already teaching her at home made our decision to homeschool much easier.

She had difficulty keeping her mind on the subject at hand and often daydreamed in class when she should have been working on assignments, so I worked with her at home after school to improve her focus. Many concepts that the public school teacher tried to teach were just not grasped by my daughter, so I explained them in as many different ways as I could think of until she understood. It felt really good to be able to impart confidence to my daughter for the things I was teaching her. She did not get personal feedback in the classroom, and that was something she truly needed to keep her going.

It finally became clear to me that I was becoming the primary teacher in my daughter’s education. The teacher at school handed out the assignments, but her attempts at instruction simply were not successful with my child. More and more often, my daughter came home seeking my confirmation of a lesson from school, and many times the lessons were very confusing. The school did not allow students to take textbooks home; for some subjects they did not even have textbooks. Once in a while the concept learned at school was just plain wrong. (There is no polite way to phrase it: wrong is wrong.) The frustration level soared dramatically as I attempted to teach my daughter at home in late afternoons and evenings (when she was tired and I was busy preparing a meal) without benefit of curriculum. Many parents go through this scenario to a greater or lesser degree — Junior needs help, parent tries to help, success is debatable.

Parents, I would like you to reflect for a moment on all the things that you do successfully teach your children. You have probably already read my soapbox speech on how you taught your children to walk, to talk, to dress themselves, to feed themselves, and how to do a myriad of other tasks before they were considered old enough for “formal education.” You imparted all of that knowledge without the aid of printed textbooks, charts, diagrams, or other visual aids. Now I want to look deeper into the realm of what you teach at home without even trying hard. Your children learn their greatest lessons in life just from observing the everyday routines of their parents and other family members.

Language (including choice of slang words), fashion consciousness, manners, the value of money, person-to-person relationships, the importance of extended family members, community involvement, religion, politics, prejudices — these are only the tip of the proverbial iceberg of lessons learned at home. Have your children learned to do their own laundry, have they learned to think of others by sharing in the family laundry task, or have they learned to expect someone else to provide them with clean clothing? Apply the same line of questioning to mealtime — is Mom expected to perform all facets of food preparation and clean-up, do family members help Mom, or is it “every man for himself”? Look around your house right now: are there articles of clothing scattered about, draped over every chair; newspapers lying on the floor next to an endless array of toys, game pieces, and miniature cars; or is every room absolutely spotless, not a speck of dust, and no single article out of place? Remember, this is not a spot inspection of your housekeeping ability — this is your personal, private, in-depth analysis of what and how you teach your children.

I am the only member of my extended family who has chosen to homeschool, but I am not the only one who teaches her children. Some children learn that a parent’s career is much more important than the children’s needs. Some children learn that volunteering in the church/community has a much higher priority than spending time with family. Some children are taught to expect the television to be their constant companion and the basis of all their values. Some children are never taught how to entertain themselves without the use of electronic media. These may not be the lessons that parents desire their children to learn, but it may be what they are teaching.

If you are spending every evening with your child, helping him with his school assignments, you might want to consider the benefits of homeschooling. You could continue to do the same amount of teaching, but you could choose when to do the lessons — ideally, choosing times when you are both fresh and not at the end of very frustrating days. You and your child could also decide together what other subject areas would be interesting to explore and how you would like to investigate them. If you have children, you are already homeschooling. You may not be the one teaching long division, world history, or grammatical sentence structure, but you are teaching.

Filed Under: Deciding to Homeschool, Encouragement for Parents, Family Unity, Leaving Public School

Ignorance Is Not Forever

December 2, 2004 by 2 Comments

There are some things that I just take too personally. For instance, I recently heard about a woman whose now-adult son had been diagnosed as “Learning Disabled” all through his public school education. Despite her protests, despite her insistence on closer examination of the problem, he was dumped into LD classes and left there.

The root of the problem was that, as a boy, he had never learned to read. No teacher had ever taken the time to investigate why he had difficulty in class. Teachers repeatedly tested him year after year, always with the same result: he was at grade level and should be moved on to the next grade. When Mom’s persistence succeeded in inquiring as to how he was being tested (since the results strongly contradicted his at-home behavior), the current teacher confessed that her tests had been given to him orally. “He has so much trouble… it’s just easier to read it to him… reading it to him keeps him from becoming frustrated… ”

Now the boy is an adult, and the scene is being repeated with his child. The mom/grandmother is concerned that this time will have the same undesirable result. She was inquiring about homeschooling, probably wondering if it could rescue her grandchild, and whether it is too late for her son. As a former student of poor teachers myself and as the parent of a student whose early education was similarly neglected, I know first-hand some of the frustration these people are going through. Therefore, I tend to take these stories personally, flashing back to my own bad experiences. I find myself offended when students are purposely neglected, parents are intentionally ignored or pacified, and we are all expected to believe that this public education system is something sacred that should not be questioned. As Dorothy was instructed by The Great and Powerful Oz, we also are advised to “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.”
If I were to purchase a car and drive it until it ran out of gas, would anyone think I was justified in calling the junkyard to come and get it because it no longer ran? Hardly! I would be laughed at as the new village idiot. Even a child could tell me I only need to buy more gasoline to make my car work. Yet, here we have a car (student) which has used up its supply of fuel (knowledge) and cannot proceed without more. However, rather than simply adding more fuel (knowledge) to the car (student), the chosen method of propulsion is to push the car manually to the next block (grade level) instead of enabling it to move under its own power.

Is it so difficult to teach a child to read? I did not think it was when I taught my children to read. Millions of children throughout history have been successfully taught to read, whether by “professional educators” or by their very own parents. Yet, we have here the unfortunate account of professionals too baffled by their own system to diagnose (correctly) a child who had not learned to read. This problem is easily remedied through homeschooling — avoid the “professionals” altogether and do it yourself, one on one. It is not too late for the man in the story above — he can still learn to read with an intensive phonics program and the assistance of a caring friend or family member, and he will probably learn this much more quickly as an adult than he would have as a child. Illiterate adults have conquered reading in as little as 3 weeks. His child should also be taught intensive phonics to avoid a repeat of his tragic scenario.

I once tried to discuss phonics-based reading programs with some local professional elementary educators, only to discover that we had words in common, but meant different things by them. They sincerely believed that using a few starting-letter sounds and contextual hints made their program “phonics.” Buzzwords, such as “decoding,” were used to lull curious parents into thinking their children were learning to break down words into syllables and letter patterns. Creative writing exercises were required of students who had not even conquered handwriting, again to persuade the unsuspecting parents that their children had a reasonable grasp of the reading-writing connection.

The evidence that reading has not been learned phonetically will show itself in the inability to spell. A person who understands how to break down a word into syllables will repeat those syllable-patterns when trying to spell a word. Fluent reading ability will also prove itself in composition: elegant sentence structure is easily mimicked. If you are reading good sentences, you will be able to write good sentences. A person who cannot read will not be able to spell consistently. A person who does not consume quality reading material will not be able to write well.

Perhaps I should pity the educational system that is pawning off such methods to future generations of teachers. I see it as a prime example of “the blind leading the blind” — those who do not understand are trying to give understanding to others. The contemporary axiom, “Ignorance can be fixed; stupid is forever,” has been altered: ignorance is no longer seen by them as being fixable. I am here to testify that ignorance is not a life sentence: ignorance is simply a lack of knowledge. Once a person has been taught the skill of reading, a world full of knowledge is there for the taking.

Filed Under: Encouragement for Parents, Encouraging Your Student, Phonics, Reading, Roadblocks to Learning, Visual Learning
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