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Start Homeschooling for One Reason, but Continue for Another

October 28, 2004 by Leave a Comment

The “last straw” that finally convinced us to begin homeschooling was hearing homeschool advocate Gregg Harris on a local talk-radio program. He was promoting an upcoming seminar (which my husband and I quickly made arrangements to attend) and was giving myriad reasons why a growing number of families were choosing to educate their children at home.

The seemingly trivial reasons that actually caught my attention dealt with the hassles caused by public school’s time schedules. We had found that public school activities and programs frequently kept our children up past their bedtimes, causing them to be difficult to start off again the next morning. Mr. Harris touched on the rush to get up, get dressed, eat breakfast, and get to school on time — a continual struggle at our house. He light-heartedly mentioned that homeschooling removes all those rush-rush problems: if you find yourselves up too late at night, sleep in a little the next day, and then begin school on your own timetable. School lunches would no longer be offensive to picky eaters: Mom’s cooking would always be readily available. Homework would also disappear as an after-school trauma: enough time could be allotted during each subject to do all the work necessary for the day’s lesson. I found myself much more interested in homeschooling after hearing just a few of these statements by Mr. Harris, reasons that I had not personally considered before.

For many years we had known families who homeschooled. We met the first ones when our daughter was a year old. We currently had several families in our church who homeschooled, making no lack of people to turn to for support and encouragement. I had never considered homeschooling as an option for us until this point, when, suddenly, homeschooling looked like the solution to many of the problems plaguing our household.

The primary reasons for homeschooling that we gave to family and friends were health-related. They all knew that our daughter had been plagued by tremendous headaches for several years and sympathized with our need to make a drastic lifestyle change for her sake. She often could not endure an entire day at school: once her headache became intense, the noise of the classroom was intolerable and she needed to come home for relief. She was always able to do some subjects without difficulty, but others critically depended on her ability to concentrate. We had been to doctor after doctor, endured all sorts of tests, tried a variety of medicines (to no avail), and fought ten rounds with the schools over attendance policies (even though her grades never lagged). We even changed from one public school to another in an attempt to find an administration that would listen to us and help us cope. When the school nurse declared that a child who did not run a temperature or vomit was not actually “sick,” we knew we had finally reached the end of that rope. Something drastic had to happen. Homeschooling provided an ideal solution: our daughter could do schoolwork during the hours when she felt well, and she could lie down to rest when she felt ill without conflicting with anyone. She could do the easy subjects any day and save the harder subjects for the days when her head could tolerate intense concentration. (Along with our adaptation to homeschooling came a change in diet, prompted by much research into the various probable causes of headaches, resulting in success in controlling her headaches and other related symptoms.)

As our first year of homeschooling passed and we began our second year, we became more enthusiastic about learning at home. We were shaking off most of the public school trappings of schedules and preconceived ideas of what certain academic subjects should resemble. We were becoming independent in our homeschooling. We attended field trips, play days, and family potlucks with other homeschoolers. We took days off to have spontaneous family days with Dad. We drew closer as a family unit; we enjoyed each other’s company. We began to see other, deeper reasons for homeschooling.

I had read about people who said they homeschooled for “religious reasons.” I was not sure I understood that at the time, thinking they must be much more radical in their faith than I was, but now I was beginning to see their point of view. Public school had a very anti-family overtone to it that was not voiced aloud, just understood: they were the professional educators; we could not possibly pass anything of importance on to our children. Personal Christian values were pushed aside at public school, even by teachers who were themselves faithful, believing Christians. By homeschooling, we could make our beliefs the most important aspect anytime, all the time, if we wanted. We could ignore the witches and hobgoblins of Halloween. We could be truly thankful for God’s blessings at Thanksgiving. We could take time to celebrate “Christmas,” and not “Winter Break.” We could sing songs with their original words and not the carefully rewritten, politically correct lyrics we were so often forced to endure in public school programs.

Although we had begun homeschooling for the reasons of caring for our daughter’s health and adapting family-friendly scheduling, we soon began to realize that our Christian faith played a dramatic part in our reasons to continue homeschooling. We thoroughly enjoyed being able to concentrate on creation science and point out the difficulties with evolutionary theories. We could count Christian fiction as literature, not just as pleasure reading material only to be indulged in during one’s private hours. We designated a large block of time each day to Mom reading aloud from Christian books — a huge children’s book of Bible stories, the Chronicles of Narnia series, the Little House series, Frank Peretti’s Cooper Kids series, and many others. We discussed our faith, what made it important to us, and how we saw it being strengthened through homeschooling. We could tie in scripture to any subject where we saw an application, without fearing that we might offend another student or violate an administrative policy. We sadly watched public school friends become increasingly influenced by peer pressure in all areas of their lives, including Christians who made choices contrary to their faith.

We made the decision to homeschool based on one set of reasons, primarily health related. We continued our decision to homeschool based on another set of reasons, primarily the freedom to practice our chosen religion in every facet of our lives.

Filed Under: Deciding to Homeschool, Family Unity, Leaving Public School

Choose Your Battles

October 22, 2004 by Leave a Comment

As a parent, you realize this child-rearing business is war. However, your opponent is not your children; your opponent is every evil influence that tries to come between you and your children. The winning strategy in this war is to choose which battles you want to fight. Some battles are much more easily won than others are. Some battles are not worth your time and energy at all.

We went to church one warm, Sunday morning. There in the entry hall was another family greeting everyone who came in, but never acknowledging the appearance of their young son. Little Man stood proudly beside Mom and Dad in his Hawaiian shirt, soccer shorts, and cowboy boots. It was a moving moment for me to watch each family walk in, dressed in their “Sunday best,” greet Mom and Dad, glance down at Little Man, and then smile at the parents with only a silent nod as they moved on into the sanctuary. When one person did finally question Dad as to the unusual attire, Dad just chuckled and said, “You have to choose your battles.” The battle over shorts with cowboy boots was just not worth fighting, especially since this was merely a 4-year-old boy.

My son (at age 14) wanted to bleach his hair. A friend from church was known for bleaching his own hair often and offered to do my son’s at no charge. I am partial to naturally beautiful hair (like my son’s) but agreed to let him do this once. (Famous Last Words — The bleached hair phase actually lasted about 3 years, then progressed into the how-long-can-I-grow-an-Afro phase, and is now followed by the hey-look-a-goatee phase.) Hair grows out. Bleach it, dye it, shave it, grow it out — hair is flexible. Piercings and tattoos are a different story. I do not permit anything that permanently disfigures. After all, wedding pictures can be humiliating enough after a few years; they do not need any help from artificial adornments.

Shortly after my son’s first bleach job (just the tips: light blond on his nearly black, oh-so-wavy hair), we were shopping in a large department store. The clerk who rang up my purchases felt compelled to comment on my son’s appearance. She did not like it. She did not think I should have allowed him to do it. Her son had wanted to bleach his hair, and she said NO. “So what did he do? He went right out and got a tattoo and two piercings!” I smiled and replied, “Hair grows out. I can live with it.”

Back when my dear son was a darling little boy discovering a mind of his own, I had daily (make that hourly) battles with him over everything you can imagine. One particular day, we were going head-to-head over some long-since-forgotten subject. I was frantically praying for guidance in this current set-to, when I clearly heard The Voice I was calling out to. “This is a critical battle — hold your ground for just 30 seconds more,” was the directive. “Yeah, like that will make a difference,” was my instinctive reply, but I hung in there. It only took about 17 more seconds, and my strong-willed son caved. Mom won a very important victory that day. It was a turning point for us in the “Who’s In Charge Here” department. All the battles since that day have been negligible.

I watched other parents interacting with their children before I had my own and later as mine were growing up — keeping abreast of what phases were coming next and how to (or not to) handle them. I watched parents draw a hard line on simple things, only to lose the battle to a much more serious attack. One teenaged boy from our church wanted very much to put gel in his hair, but his ultra-conservative father protested. The boy used every substance he could find in the house on his hair, from vegetable shortening to toothpaste. If only the father had given in on allowing what he considered a “cosmetic,” he may have saved himself from the pain to come. The father and son battled throughout the high school years, until the son finally left for college — not the college the son had chosen, where all of his supportive friends were going, but the college where Mom and Dad had attended and fell in love with each other. The son soon returned home as a college drop-out, dressed in total rebellion, and behaving in ways that put the hair gel battle in its proper perspective. If only Dad had wisely chosen his battles…

I read somewhere once that children need a little rebellion to help them discover their own identities. The secret is to allow them to have small rebellions so that they do not need large rebellions. Hair grows out — hair is a small rebellion. I allowed the bleached hair to avoid the need for any larger rebellion.

Many parents make the mistake of thinking that they have to win every battle, every time, on every subject in order to maintain their authority. I think they are wrong. All they will succeed in maintaining is a dictatorship. Surprise your children once in a while by letting them have their way in something that amounts to a small battle — it will save you from a much larger battle later on.

Filed Under: Behavior, Discipline, Family Unity, Parenting

Spoken Destinies & Learned Behaviors

October 14, 2004 by Leave a Comment

“I just HAVE to keep moving and making noise! That’s what my mom says.” I heard these words with my own ears. What was more surprising to me was the realization that this 10-year-old boy had taken his mother’s observation and turned it into an assignment. Moms and Dads, be careful that your idle comments and observations do not become “spoken destinies” as this mom’s had. Children will learn to behave exactly as you say you want them to, as this boy had done. Unfortunately for this family, the words were not intended to express an expectation of the future, but just to be a summation of past experiences.

“‘Turn at the red flowers’ — that’s an ADHD-marker.” Why was it not considered simply “being aware of one’s surroundings” or “noticing a landmark” since the street sign was missing? It seems apparent that the family responsible for this remark expects ADHD-type behavior and watches for any little sign that can be attributed to it. Never mind the fact that the same boy who knows the turn is marked by red flowers also can sit calmly during an entire 2-hour movie without a wiggle, and he can focus intently on a subject of his own choosing. It seems to me that this student has incredible powers of concentration — powers that simply need to be taught how to focus on different subjects at different times.

A dear “church lady” told me the following story in order to teach me, a new mom, a thing or two about raising my children. She had been the babysitter for many children over many years and had learned much wisdom in the process. I greatly appreciated her insight and put it to use as often as possible. She had one particularly ingenious little boy in her care at the time and had caught him trying to reach the cookie jar by climbing on a kitchen chair that he had pushed over to the counter in order to facilitate his endeavor. When she had removed him from the chair and replaced the chair at the kitchen table, she told him, “Do not push that chair over there again.” A few minutes later, she realized her error as she heard an extended scraping noise and concluded that he was pushing a chair from the dining room all the way into the kitchen. The woman made sure I understood that this boy was not being disobedient — he was doing exactly according to her command. The error was, in fact, hers for not telling him all chairs, stools, and other climbable furniture were not to be used; the cookie jar was off limits.

I had a similar experience in a college computer-programming class. My program would not run corrrectly, and after much frustration I finally turned to the teacher for help. He took one quick glance at my notes and smiled, saying, “Machines are stupid. They can only do exactly what you tell them to do.” I checked back through the program and soon found my error — I had told it to do the wrong thing, and the machine was merely obeying my commands.

The point of these seemingly unrelated stories is that we need to be cautious of our words and our actions, lest they work against us. Although our children are not machines and are not “stupid,” they are to a certain extent “programmable” and can be heavily influenced by our words. We can unknowingly, unintentionally fight against our own best plans by simply tossing about a few careless phrases. Our words are like bricks: they can build up great fortresses or they can become weapons of random destruction. A few well-chosen, positive words can do wonders for our children’s behavior and attitudes. Words of confidence can instill hope in a child and the strength to try a difficult task one more time, the time that results in success.

Filed Under: Behavior, Family Unity, Parenting, Roadblocks to Learning

Is Learning Limited to Books?

October 5, 2004 by Leave a Comment

[The following article was written by Intern Jenny.]

Throughout the years that my family homeschooled, one of the most important principles we had was that homeschooling is not just bookwork. Mom loves to say, “Everyday is a learning day and the world is your classroom.” That is a good saying, but I want to explain what that saying meant to me.

As a former public school student, I resisted anything to do with public school. It frustrated me to tears to have any resemblance to public school in my homeschooling experience. I did not enjoy any curriculum that was just a book packed with facts to be memorized and regurgitated without any personal touches. I did do well with curriculum that was more relaxed, even if thousands of facts were hidden within its pages. However, some of the experiences that I learned the most from were not from the books that I read or the workbooks I filled out.

Mom made learning easy by allowing my brother and me to explore our interests. When a sunny day came along we learned how the sun and a magnifying glass can produce heat capable of starting a fall leaf on fire (carefully, on a fireproof brick patio, with Mom’s supervision, mind you).

Instead of having art class, we often copied our favorite book illustrations onto the front sidewalk with chalk. Dr. Seuss’ “Zizzer Zazzer Zuzz” was a hit with the neighbors, and the long circus trains we made from our imaginations were always memorable.

Our antique button collection became not only a lesson in history, but also in many other subjects. It was science as we discovered what material each button was made from. It was art history as we learned about and identified the art periods represented on the buttons. It was literature class as we learned about the operas and stories that inspired some of the buttons. Our collection (as many types of collections can be) was more than just a silly hobby, but an exploration of subjects and learning that we had never realized before.

Literature became so much more than just reading as Mom read aloud to my brother and me as we worked on our math everyday. We discussed the storylines together daily as we anticipated the next twist.

Most of all, daily activities with Mom and Dad helped my brother and me to develop a healthy grasp of life. We learned practical economics by shopping with Mom, we learned how to paint and fix things around the house and yard with Dad. I learned to cook by helping Mom fix supper every night. Laundry was a household-team chore: whoever needed something cleaned or noticed that the laundry was piling up was expected to take up that responsibility.

Although the schoolwork we did taught us much, I believe my brother and I benefited most through the many other activities from which we were able to gain experiences. Books are definitely a worthwhile tool to use, but do not forget to learn from life as well. Recognize the skills and facts that can be accumulated by simply analyzing day-to-day activities. Sometimes a break from books can actually be more beneficial than detrimental.

Filed Under: Auditory Learning, Family Unity, Homeschool v. Public School, Kinesthetic Learning, Learning Outside the Books, Tactile Learning

Homeschooling Failures I Have Known — and What Can Be Learned from Them

September 29, 2004 by 6 Comments

Family A chose homeschooling because their children were lagging behind in public school, and their homeschooled cousins were excelling. After only one year at home, the A. children were returned to public school and Mrs. A. vowed she would never homeschool again. What went wrong? Plenty. The high-school-aged student thought homeschooling to be the most boring year ever — sitting around all day, every day, “just reading books.” The upper elementary and middle school students tried to do their work at the kitchen table, while the preschool-aged siblings climbed all over them, chasing after the (many) other preschoolers and toddlers that Mom was babysitting. (The home’s arrangement put the kitchen table in the middle of the little ones’ main play area.)
Very little discipline, poor curriculum choices, and no outside support made for an unpleasant homeschooling experience. However, when these children did return to public school, they had advanced two grade levels to be at least equal with their peers (showing there are benefits to even disorganized homeschooling).
Lessons to Be Learned: Seek advice from experienced homeschoolers on matching curriculum to your students; allow your students to have input on what specific interests they would like to pursue. Set aside time for interaction with other homeschool families — you will all benefit from the fellowship. Do not over-commit yourself at the same time that you are learning to homeschool — homeschooling is a full-time job all by itself. Do not give up right after you’ve learned how to do this job — the first year is the toughest.

Family B homeschooled from Kindergarten onward, attempting to cover every possible subject for which there was curriculum available. Dad was self-employed, so Mom was also assisting in managing the responsibilities of a small, but growing, enterprise. Dad was a firm disciplinarian (read: control freak). Every few years Dad insisted on sending the kids to private Christian school for a year to be sure they were not missing anything. Mom would have preferred the consistency of continuous homeschooling, but gave in because she was constantly on the verge of a breakdown.
Lessons to Be Learned: Do not attempt to Do It All — this family overwhelmed themselves by trying to do too many unnecessary things and sacrificing their more important family relationships. Do not underestimate your ability to educate your children — they may not be learning exactly what other children are learning, but your children are learning the things that are important to your family. When all else seems to fail, re-evaluate your standards: are you putting forth your greatest effort toward the things you consider to be the most important?

Family C was anxious to keep up with the other homeschoolers at their church, so they began Kindergarten with their barely-4-year-old. When I met them a year later, that student was in first grade and the next-in-line was now doing Kindergarten. The two toddlers were normally active, but Mom was so enthusiastic about doing history, science, and many other extra classes with her students that she did not always keep a close eye on the younger children (who therefore constantly got into trouble). Mom eventually gave up and put the students into Christian school. I should mention that Mom was also working part-time outside the home during all this — while Dad’s income alone was more than adequate to support the family. They were planning to try homeschooling again later on when Dad’s job transferred him for a year to an area with inadequate schools, but I have lost contact with them and have not heard how that went.
Lessons to Be Learned: Once again, do not attempt to Do It All. More intense subjects (such as history and science) cannot be retained efficiently by younger learners; save them until the students have mastery of reading (at least 4th grade). History and science activities can be done occasionally to supplement other subjects, but save the formal lessons for later. Include your toddlers in your schooltime by giving them their own “school activities,” whether directly related to the lessons or not.

Family D homeschooled for several years, dual-enrolling their children in public school for extra-curricular classes and activities. Mom spent most of her time driving to the school (then back) to deliver each of her children in turn for lessons, practices, and performances. The oldest child entered high school and enrolled in even more classes and spent many hours at the school each day. The D. family has not really failed at homeschooling itself, but these children are spending ever-increasing time with public school peers and are readily adopting the prevalent attitudes and (anti-) social behavior. The siblings are mouthy, disrespectful, and frankly, no fun to be around. I used to really like these kids.
Lesson to Be Learned: The point of homeschooling is to give our children a better environment and a better education. (How can that happen if you keep putting them right back into public school?)

Family E wanted to “sample the homeschool movement,” so their last child at home was to be homeschooled for one year only, and then returned to public school. They used the school’s curriculum, but also added several extra Bible-based programs in order to get what they considered to be “the best of both worlds.” Another example of trying to do everything at once, the E. family happily (and exhaustedly) turned back to the government system after their one-year trial. Refusing to call this a failure, they instead consider themselves to have been true homeschoolers.
Lesson to Be Learned: I personally consider this family’s experiment to have been as much fad-behavior as wearing stick-on tattoos, and I feel they got the same long-lasting benefits. Know why you are homeschooling. You will get out of it what you put into it.

Family F was similar to Family A, in that they had a very active toddler vying for the attention that the older siblings were getting during schooltime. Mrs. F. (like so many other eager new homeschoolers) wanted to jump right in and do every subject imaginable. Mom spread herself much too thin, felt over-obligated with the schoolwork and guilty for neglecting the toddler, and convinced herself after a year that public school was a better alternative. Mrs. F. deeply misses the relationship with her older children, but is now happily spending more time with her youngest. I still hope she will try homeschooling her children again when the youngest is ready for school.
Lesson to Be Learned: Avoid trying to Do It All, include your little people at their own level, and do not consider yourself a failure simply for over-committing yourself.

Guilt-Free Homeschooling is achieved by
1) Doing what God has asked you to do, not what all of your friends or relatives are doing or may expect you to do.
2) Spending some time reflecting on all your reasons for educating your children at home and writing those reasons down so you can look back over them whenever you need a reminder.
3) Looking after your own family’s needs first and only extending your efforts to others as you have the time, energy, and resources to do so. (Your own family should not suffer because you are taking care of others’ needs instead of theirs.)
4) Reserving time occasionally for your family to interact with other homeschooling families (Moms, Dads, and children) — for educational activities, for fellowship, for support, or just for fun.

Filed Under: Encouragement for Parents, Family Unity, Homeschool How-To's, Preschoolers

“Parent” Is a Verb

September 24, 2004 by Leave a Comment

Pick a problem from society in general today. Chances are it could be solved or could have been prevented by active parenting. “Parent” is a verb. “A parent” is a noun phrase used to describe either of the two persons responsible for a child’s presence on this planet, but “parent” should be considered as a command to action.

There are reasons children have parents — children need parents to protect them, guide them, and instruct them. Television, books, and movies are filled with scenarios where children solve their own problems, help each other out of difficult situations, and save the world from imminent destruction. It may get ratings, but it is not a true representation of real life.

When my children were of lower elementary age, a large department store chain was running a program for recycling and ecological awareness using the slogan, “Kids Saving the Earth.” I had personally ignored it as so much New Age melodrama until the day my daughter picked up one of the flyers in the store. As I told her to put it back, she clutched it dearly, proclaiming, “But Mom, it’s KIDS — SAVING the earth!” I immediately recognized the scope of this propaganda campaign: bypass the adults and recruit the children. We had a quick heart-to-heart discussion about how it is not children’s responsibility to save the earth; it is the responsibility of adults to be good stewards of the planet God has given us. Great relief seemed to overtake my child’s face as she realized she was no longer personally burdened by the slovenliness of uncaring, hedonistic adults.

Many times I sat with my children watching a “children’s program” or cartoon show on television, just so that I could point out to them the inconsistencies in the logic of the writers. One particular cartoon that my daughter wanted to watch featured darling little bunny-children who were indeed captivating to watch. However, when I caught the plot of any given episode, it invariably involved incapable idiot-adults who desperately needed their children to show them what to do next. I not-so-patiently waited for the end of that scene, muted the sound, and explained to my children how unreal the setting was. Then I banned them from watching that program again. My general rule for acceptability was: who is portrayed as being the leaders in society — children or adults? If the adults are portrayed as stupid and helpless and the children are the broad-shouldered geniuses who solve all life’s difficulties (in 23 minutes or less), you may not watch it. That blanket policy applied to TV, movies, and books, as well as friends’ attitudes, church youth group activities, and homeschool group activities.

Children desire limitations; boundaries are a form of security blanket for children. It works this way: you set a boundary, and the child pushes against the boundary to see if it is strong and true. If the boundary gives way, the child no longer knows where the boundary is and must keep pushing to see where the boundary will really stop. If the boundary does not move from where the parents set it, the child is secure in knowing he is safe inside. Occasionally, the child may test the boundary again just to be sure of its position, and the entire process is repeated. A firm boundary makes for a secure child; a vague or non-existent boundary leaves a child fearful and insecure. Think of boundaries as walls protecting from the big, uncertain world and the concept will be much easier to grasp. Set reasonable boundaries that allow freedom of movement within, and then watch for them to be tested. Your children are not challenging your authority; they are simply testing the strength and security of the wall.

When they test it again later on, they are still not challenging your authority as a parent, they are making sure you still love them. An unmovable boundary equals unmovable love from the parent. Be flexible enough to allow for an occasional open window in your wall; realize that you can temporarily relax a boundary without destroying it completely. The rare exception to a rule does not negate the entire rule.

Moms and Dads, it is your responsibility to educate your children, to teach them manners and civil behavior, to raise them up to be productive members of society and contributors to civilization. It is not for us to pawn our children off on self-proclaimed “professional” educators to lecture the tykes on good versus bad behavior: we are to teach by example. Our lives are to be the primary exhibits from which all observers may take note. We are to take the lead role in nurturing and discipling our children, not relegating it to babysitters, Sunday school teachers, grandparents, or anyone else. Parent is a verb.

Filed Under: Behavior, Discipline, Encouragement for Parents, Family Unity, Parenting

Standing Up Against “The Lie”

September 13, 2004 by 1 Comment

Ever get to the point where you are ready to scream at the world? The Numb Skulls of the World have finally driven you to your limit, and you need to set them straight? I am there. Join me in a venting session.

Citizens of the modern world have been deceived into believing that a woman’s place is nowhere near the home. I have been told The Great Lie (outright and by implication) by friends, family, and society at large (male and female alike): that I have no value to society unless I am employed, for monetary reimbursement, away from my home. My children will suffer greatly (according to this Lie) if I do not leave my domestic domain at regular intervals and contribute to The Greater Good. Horsefeathers. Bunk. And utter nonsense!!!

This Lie has gone so far as to inflict serious, sometimes nearly irreparable guilt on Christian women who seek to follow God’s guidelines in His Word, the Holy Bible. These accusations are most commonly hurled by those already buying into The Lie by allowing, pressuring, and otherwise forcing the women in their families to seek outside employment. If they can convince all others that women must be “gainfully employed,” it relieves them of guilt, thereby transferring the guilt to those families whose female members are content to be “keepers at home” as Paul instructed in Titus 2.

The vast scope of this dangerous Lie was revealed to me recently: a good friend of mine has grown from little boy to young man believing that it is not a woman’s role to provide food for her family. I was speechless. Thinking back, I can now understand why he had always seemed a little uncomfortable eating the meals I prepared whenever he visited in my home. He did grow up in another culture, where locals were employed to assist the family with the household chores of cooking and cleaning, but I can see that The Lie has permeated his worldview to a much more devastating degree. He has not picked out The Truth (woman as doting wife, mother, and caregiver) from movies, television, or books, nor has he seen it walked out before him in his own family or in the lives of friends, relatives, neighbors, or even total strangers, regardless of culture or geographic locale. (He is slowly overcoming this hurdle and learning to take pleasure in being “waited on” [read: fed], but The Lie still prevails.)

The time has come to stand up for Guilt-Free Mothering, Guilt-Free Homemaking, and Guilt-Free Obedience to God’s Word. If you are a stay-at-home mom, stand a little taller, lift your chin a little higher, and breathe a little more deeply, filling your chest with the pure air of knowing you are in alignment with God’s best for you and your family. God created Woman to be a helper to Man, not to be a competitor for him, or worse, a replacement for him. As a supporting wife, a diligent mother, and a conscientious home-keeper you are fulfilling God’s plan as set forth at creation.

Do not believe The Lie — that your only sense of value can come from outside your home and family. Do not be coerced by the advertising industry into living beyond your means, requiring you, Mom, to abandon your family for The Workplace. Your children are much too precious to relegate them to the “care” of anyone else. Your husband needs the security of knowing his wife awaits him at his home, ready to soothe away the stresses inflicted in his daily battle to provide for his family. Your home needs to be a safe refuge from the outside world, where all who enter may be restored and strengthened in a delightful environment of rejuvenating love. You, stay-at-home Mom, are doing exactly what God created you to do. When anyone tries to tell you differently, stick your fingers in your ears and sing loudly: La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.

If you enjoyed this article, you may also enjoy Are You an “Over-Protective” Mom?

Filed Under: Encouragement for Parents, Family Unity, Homeschooling as a Lifestyle
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