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The Never-ending Question: “Whyyyyyyyyyy?”

April 11, 2005 by Leave a Comment

Perhaps you have, or know, or used to be the child who repeatedly asks “Why?” to every remark that is spoken, whether by a parent, sibling, or friend. Usually it starts with the preschooler who truly is trying to gain knowledge about the world he lives in. However, if continued unchecked, in a few short years it can turn into a game of “How long does it take to frustrate Mom?” because, no matter what Mom says, he can again ask “Why?”

If you allow it, children will use “Why?” as a game to push your buttons more than they will use it as a way to gain knowledge. The first time you get caught not paying attention and find yourself answering half a dozen why’s in a row, your child will realize he has stumbled onto a fascinating game. (As long as I keep asking “Why,” Mom will keep trying to answer. I wonder how long this will continue!)

Before I answered the never-ending question too quickly, I gave my child some time and encouragement to think the situation through and reason it out for himself. Then if he still did not understand, I allowed the question and answered it. I tried to provoke a discussion with the child by turning the questions back on him and asking for his opinion of why. Sometimes my student could derive the correct solution on his own, and sometimes he needed an adult’s perspective in order to see a more accurate view. Expanding the conversation to a discussion will either a) satisfy the child’s thirst for real knowledge, or b) take all the fun out of his frustration game and convince him to change activities.

By no means should the question “why” be forbidden completely; on the contrary, it is a valuable learning tool when applied to research. We should always encourage questioning when it will lead to learning. Our responsibility as parents and educators is to distinguish the motive behind the question: is the child seeking to understand or is the child attempting to annoy? I answer reasonable questions to the best of my ability, but I do not give complete control of the conversation over to the child by allowing incessant, meaningless questions. I believe in turning their questions into teaching opportunities.

Filed Under: Behavior, Parenting, Preschoolers

Full-Bodied Education: Mind, Body, & Spirit

March 14, 2005 by Leave a Comment

It would be sadly futile to dedicate your valuable time to the academic side of homeschooling, only to the neglect of your children’s physical or spiritual health. While you are teaching reading and math, also teach the importance of getting proper rest (stressing to your future college-bound students the value of sleep during night-time hours) and a proper diet (again, of great importance to both the college-bound and anyone destined to be living independently someday).

Even young children can begin to recognize their body’s needs for sleep and nutritious food. Carefully explaining to a youngster that he has become grumpy because his body is tired from the hard work of play makes it easier for him to understand his need for rest or quiet playtime, and he will be less likely to view the quiet time as a punishment. Explaining in simple terms how our bodies need protein for fuel will help a youngster realize the value of eating a sandwich instead of begging for junk food. Urge the reluctant child to experiment with his own body — “You think carefully about how you feel all over now, and let’s see how you feel in another hour after eating some crackers with ham and cheese, and then tomorrow afternoon we’ll repeat the experiment with some candy.” (Science class and health class combined with personal experience!)

My daughter identifies her body signals very readily: she recognizes food cravings and quickly categorizes them as protein cravings, dehydration, etc. Her life-long struggle with migraine headaches is caused by monosodium glutamate (MSG) in food or health and beauty products. The “antidote” for MSG is magnesium, but since supplement tablets also contain MSG in the form of corn starch or gelatin, the magnesium needs to come from real foods. Recently my daughter noticed herself craving an odd assortment of foods; a little internet research revealed each of her cravings to be high in magnesium — broccoli, almonds, oatmeal, and the tastiest of all — dark chocolate. Having learned how to “read” her body’s signals helped her to realize what battle her body was fighting on its own.

A bedtime “routine” is helpful long after toddler-hood. I sleep much better if I have a chance to lie in bed and read, even if it is only for a few minutes before the lights go out. Soft lights and quieter volumes in the late evening subconsciously prepare your mind and body for sleep, quickly working their magic. A friend related her frustration at having to arrange alternate living quarters for her college-freshman son. The combination of his two roommates and their friends resulted in the dorm room lights staying on all the time — there was never a period of quiet or darkness. New room, new roommates, better health, happier parents.

God will faithfully guide you in applying His Word to everyday situations in your homeschool. The Bible is full of wonderful accounts of dynamic characters — both good and bad. Examples are readily available of people to be like and people not to be like. Both good and bad sibling relationships are found in the families of Joseph and David. Nathan learned the hard way to listen more closely to God: he spoke too quickly and had to retract his words. Samuel learned not to judge by appearances when God sent him to anoint the next king of Israel, David.

I kept my Bible handy throughout the day and looked up verses as we found them referenced in other books. I read the chapter of Proverbs that corresponded to the day of the month as an encouraging pick-me-up. We used an old family-hand-me-down book of Bible stories as a read-aloud book and enjoyed wonderful discussions prompted by the stories. I was pleasantly surprised at how often I could apply a Bible verse or an entire story to people or events in our own family. My own scripture knowledge improved, as well as building a wonderful foundation for my children.

See that your task of educating covers all facets of your children’s lives, ensuring that each student will grow into a well-rounded individual, able to handle his own needs in all areas of adult life. Teach the whole child, teaching good sleeping and eating habits, and feeding them spiritually.

Filed Under: Homeschool How-To's, Homeschooling as a Lifestyle, Learning Outside the Books, Parenting, Role-Modeling

What Is Your “Best”?

March 11, 2005 by Leave a Comment

“Do your best!” We have all said those words before soccer games and piano recitals, and we usually have said them without any reflection whatsoever upon what we actually might mean by them. “Best” can be a relative term, meaning different things to different people at different times. “Best” varies. Apply the following line of thinking to yourself first, and when you have a handle on it personally, you can better apply it to your children for your expectations of them and for their own expectations of themselves.

Example #1: Hello, my name is Carolyn, and I am a procrastinator. (I do not seek to mock any of the stepped programs for dealing with addictions, but I am simply borrowing their easily recognizable introduction line.) I have a problem; recognizing and acknowledging the existence of my problem is the first step to overcoming it. I have realized that constantly putting things off is harmful to myself and also to those around me. However, I have further realized that I am not always able to deal with everything at the moment it arises.

“Controlled Procrastination” is my new motto — some things will be dealt with immediately, others will be dealt with in a timely manner, when I am able. When I become overwhelmed with too much to do, I try to reprioritize what is most important and decide what can be effectively put off until another time. I then make a mental “contract” with myself that I will accomplish the delayed task (or tasks) by a certain time, date, or circumstance, thereby holding me accountable for the task at another time, but relieving me from the burden of unearned guilt. Knowing that I am not over-burdening myself during times of stress makes it easier for me to accomplish more during easily productive times. I do what I can do, when I can do it, and I free myself from the guilt of trying to do my best best all of the time.

Your best is the best you can do. My best is not your best; your best is not mine. My current best, due to temporary limitations, is not the same as my usual best. Let your current circumstances determine what level of performance you will try to achieve, knowing that at other times that level may change. Trying to maintain an “ideal best” under “less than ideal” circumstances will only heap undeserved guilt upon yourself. In the case that you are surrounded by multiple children under the age of eight, you can expect your best to improve significantly as they age and grow closer to self-sufficiency.

Example #2: I have at least one over-achieving child (ok, both of them, but for now I’m only referring to one). That faithful student seemed to believe that “do your best” meant to take on more than was humanly possible. More than once, I sat down with said child for a refresher course in “only your best is acceptable.” If the student is making his best attempt at the task at hand, that is certainly all that should be expected of him — nothing more.

If my child has worked hard to master memorizing and reciting a three-stanza poem, I must not expect him to recite one of Longfellow’s book-length works. However, since this student and I both know he is capable of memorizing the three-stanza poem, we have equal expectations for his success. Never mind the fact that all the children from the ultra-super-more-than-over-achieving homeschool family will be reciting for hours at the end-of-the-year homeschool program — that is their best, not yours.

Example #3: Young students, especially those still struggling with penmanship, tend to strive for textbook standards of perfectionism. Unfortunately, their efforts are often unsuccessful and result in frustration for both student and teacher. Keep some copies of their previous work to review: seeing actual evidence of his progress will help restore the child’s confidence in himself. During their first years of schooling, children’s handwriting may undergo dramatic changes every few weeks or months. Looking back over past work will show the student how his best has changed.

We all need to recognize the limits of “our best,” whether we are temporarily restrained or continually tempted to perfectionism. If you are pregnant or otherwise constrained by health, have multiple children including toddlers, are changing houses or jobs or involved in other serious life-upheaval situations, bring your standards into alignment with your current reality. Recognize the fact that Wonder Woman was only a two-dimensional fictional character. You, my Guilt-Free friend, are much more than that.

Filed Under: Behavior, Doing Your "Best", Encouragement for Parents, Encouraging Your Student, Homeschool v. Public School, Parenting

Should Children Be “Witnesses” in Public School?

March 1, 2005 by 2 Comments

How many times have I heard the arguments? “Homeschooling is a good idea for your family, but we want our children to be ‘salt and light’ in their school.” “Somebody has to stand up for Jesus in the public schools.” “My kids want to witness to their friends about Jesus.”

First, let me say that I am a convert to homeschooling — when I still had an extremist toddler in the house, I could not see any way that I could possibly homeschool. He grew up. He spent Kindergarten in the Time Out corner with the unspoken threat of Ritalin dangling over his head like the Sword of Damocles. Teaching two children sounded easier (for some reason) than the prospect of teaching one while entertaining the other. We became a homeschooling success story.

While the quoted arguments above might make good bumper stickers, they do not convince me. I do have compassion for the souls of children and adults alike, and I do not wish to see anyone spend eternity in hell. However, I also know that American public schools today are not Billy Graham Crusades — if someone is to find personal salvation through Jesus Christ, it will probably not take place during third period history. It could happen, but it would probably be prohibited and both the witnesser and witnessee would end up in detention before they even got a chance to bow their heads for prayer.

Jesus began His own ministry at the age of 30. The men He chose as His closest companions were also adults. Jesus had great concern for children and was eager that they not be burdened beyond what their innocence could handle, but He never suggested that the children’s time would be best spent in evangelistic outreach. I am very outspoken for considering my immediate contacts to be my field of ministry, but I also feel that a child’s best witness is to grow into the most Christ-like adult he can be. “Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man” (Luke 2:52) — and then He set Himself to the work of ministry. (Yes, Jesus did discuss theology with the temple elders at age 12, but that was quite different from His later ministry of preaching, teaching, and healing the multitudes.)

Early in our homeschool journey, we had close friends, a married couple, who were both public school teachers. Their children ranged in age from early elementary to middle school. The middle child was very intrigued by the concept of homeschooling and asked the mother about the possibility of getting an education at home. Mom brushed off the inquiry. As another school year began and that child moved from upper elementary into the middle school environment, the subject came up again. The tender-hearted child was deeply affected by the caustic atmosphere of the new school and proclaimed, “Being at my school is like being in an R-rated movie all day long!” Since the parents preferred PG-rated movies and only rarely allowed the viewing of select PG-13 videos, the child felt that was a legitimate argument for home education. The parents did not agree. While I can only speculate as to the parents’ motivations, the child’s repeated, tearful pleadings to be allowed to homeschool were finally turned down flat with “Don’t ever ask that question again!” This was not a whiny, immature, or troublesome student. This young person volunteered to sit quietly at home, responsibly doing the assigned lessons while the parents worked. Ample opportunities already existed for intermittent parental supervision throughout the day, interaction with other homeschoolers, and church/social engagements. This child was not looking to bail out on an education, just the undesirable situation of the public school. A parent’s insistence that children should be witnesses for Jesus becomes a choked whisper in the R-rated melee of current public schools.

Another homeschool mom took her son to the local high school to enroll him in a foreign language class. They had chosen a specific teacher for his Christian values and felt confident that this would be a controlled exposure to the public school. As she told me the details of their first visit to the school, her face revealed the shock she had felt while walking through the hallways of the building. It seems she had not seen so many pregnant females in one place since her own last session of Lamaze class. She had never considered the fact that modern high schools must include a day care center — not for the employees’ children, but for the students’ children. She had expected to see students carrying backpacks and books, not babies and diaper bags.

I have no doubt that God could or would work through Christian students in a school setting to reach other students. I have the same conviction regarding Christian adults as faculty members. However, the ones that I have personally known do not spend their time and energies sharing their faith in Christ with those around them. If they were removed from their schools, I am not sure anyone would even notice.

When my daughter was in high school and the subject of second-generation homeschooling came up, we were surprised at how many of her homeschooled friends were not intending to homeschool their own children. In praying about it herself, she came across Matthew 22:21, “give to Caesar what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s.” Feeling that her future children were to belong to God rather than to the government, she felt this to be Biblical support for her as a future homeschooling parent.

When I first became a Christian, a popular poster read, “Bloom where you’re planted.” My confusion ensued as I heard other new believers discussing where they wanted to be planted. When Jesus spoke His final words to His disciples (Acts 1), He commanded them to remain in Jerusalem until they had received power from the Father. He did not send them out immediately or without training. He had diligently taught them day by day for the past three years. I do not believe we should be sending our children out without sufficient training or without the Father’s blessing. If you feel you are being led by God to engage in ministry as a family to those around you, that is wonderful — but allow your offspring the same consideration Jesus gave to His disciples: they were adults and had extensive training at His side before they assumed individual roles in evangelism.

Expecting young children to stand up as martyrs for Christ in the heathen surroundings of public school is unbiblical. In my experience, the parents who use this rationale are looking for every excuse they can find to avoid the responsibilities of homeschooling. Homeschooling does not have to be difficult, expensive, or isolating. Homeschooling is tremendously rewarding, and the opportunities for focusing on Biblical principles can give your children a foundation in faith that will pay amazing dividends in the years to come.

Filed Under: Deciding to Homeschool, Homeschool v. Public School, Parenting

Is This “Acceptable Behavior”?

January 25, 2005 by Leave a Comment

As we congratulated the graduating homeschool senior, he addressed us as Mr. and Mrs. Morrison and thanked us for attending the ceremony. My husband fondly gripped his shoulder and chuckled, “You can call me by my first name — you’re an adult now.” The young man’s face showed a touch of embarrassment as he glanced around the room for his parents. “No,” he replied, “I can’t.” We understood. The graduate’s parents insisted that their children address adults by formal titles and last names only. To do otherwise was considered unacceptable behavior in their family.

Some parents instruct their children to call me Miss Carolyn, others call me Mrs. Morrison, and still others simply use my first name with no formal title, which is actually my preference as a very casual Midwesterner. The decision of how to address elders lies with each family and their preference for formality, and the manners are enforced by them, not by me. This philosophy also applies to “store manners,” “indoor voices,” “company behavior,” and other special occasions for which we have special rules. Each family sets and enforces its own guidelines for acceptable behavior.

When my children exhibited behavior that was inappropriate for the circumstances, I quietly took the offender aside and explained in age-appropriate language why this was not acceptable behavior and offered an alternative response so that the child would know how I expected him to act the next time. Removing the child from the public eye for this heart-to-heart chat avoided further embarrassment for either of us, thereby preventing revenge from becoming part of the mix. If an apology was required, I also tried to help the child see the situation from the opposing point of view, so that (hopefully) he could empathize with the offended party and offer a sincere apology.

Once the limits of acceptability have been established, the parent can simply ask the child “Is this acceptable behavior?” The child now knows the answer himself and can correct his actions without further discussion. Sometimes the parent may need to use a slightly firmer tact of “This is not acceptable behavior,” but the outcome should still be the same with the child correcting his own actions. If the child has successfully learned what is and what is not acceptable behavior, the parent does not need to go through the teaching process again any time a rule has been broken. To do so raises the child to the position of control in the situation — something no parent wants to have happen.

We have all been caught in the supermarket checkout lane when an over-tired toddler takes control of his harried parent. Either the child is immediately rewarded with candy, toys, and mechanical pony rides, or all the other shoppers in the store are subjected to his ear-piercing screams until he finally does get his way. (I am continually reminded by my young adult children, “You never let us get away with that behavior!” I am not sure if they are bothered more by the disruption or by the thought that they missed out on a lot of loot.) When my young children asked if they could have a toy or candy, I gave them a definite answer, either yes or no. In the case of a negative answer, they would often ask again a few seconds later. I always replied, “I already answered that. Will my answer change?” It took very few repetitions of this scenario before they learned to stop asking — Mom almost never changed her mind. Once they had learned not to beg and plead for trinkets and trifles, it was great fun for me to offer them a treat as a reward for good behavior. The reward was not given on every trip, though, lest it become expected and cease being a reward.

Expect your children to test the limits you set up. (See Parent Is a Verb for a more complete explanation of why children test boundaries.) Do not expect children to understand acceptable vs. unacceptable behavior unless a thorough explanation has also been given at some point in time. However, once the boundaries have been set, your word should remain law with only very rare exceptions allowed under extreme circumstances. Only occasional reminders should be necessary to correct unacceptable situations, keeping the parents in the seat of authority and keeping the children much happier with a lowered level of stress in the entire family.

Filed Under: Behavior, Family Unity, Parenting

Screening — Paying Attention to Red Flags

December 15, 2004 by Leave a Comment

Be aware of what is being taught in any outside groups in which your children participate. Just because your friends approve of a certain group, it does not mean that you also have to approve or will approve of the same group. This applies to church-sponsored youth groups, church-sponsored Bible classes or clubs, scout troops, homeschool co-op classes, library story hours, etc. If you have already chosen to homeschool your children, you are obviously rather particular about what things they learn and how they learn them. If your children are currently enrolled in a public or private school, you may be noticing attitude changes taking place that correspond to their participation in specific activities, clubs, groups, etc.

Any changes in your child’s typical behavior should call you to attention. The changes may be positive ones, in which case you want to take notice of what caused the change and see if you can use that tactic in other areas as well to produce additional positive results. If, however, the changes in your child’s behavior are towards more negative behavior, you will want to investigate what has prompted those changes in order to correct a small problem before it becomes a major disaster.

Does your child look forward to attending the group/activity, or does the child suddenly become unruly, stubborn, and disruptive as the appointed time draws near? Does your child tell you about the group in great detail, or is it nearly impossible to glean any details whatsoever (especially noteworthy in a usually talkative child)? Does the child exhibit markedly different behavior upon returning home from the group/activity — is his attitude towards parents or siblings undesirable: rude, selfish, or extraordinarily superior? These are red flags, telltale signs that your child may be receiving teaching/coaching/prompting that is contrary to your family’s values. It may be coming from the leader of the group/activity or from friends he encounters at the group. Whatever the source, you will want to look deeper into the situation before it becomes a bigger problem.

Offer to assist the teacher with “crowd control” as a subtle way to check out what values are being passed on to your students. Mild differences can be discussed with your students before or after the class while still gaining as much benefit as possible from the class/activity itself. Major differences of value systems may require that your family withdraw their participation from the group. If the group is worth being involved with, it is worth your time as well as your child’s. Volunteer in whatever capacity will obtain you the spot you need in order to see what is going on. Speaking as a former leader, I would never have refused an offer of help; extra hands were always appreciated, whether the group was large or small.

We have run up against other children whose families simply had different values from ours. A brief discussion of “family values” with our children helped to clarify things for them, so that they could evaluate others’ points of view and determine for themselves what was worthy of ignoring. At other times, we found ourselves head-to-head with an important difference of philosophy from the leadership of an entire group. In those situations, we had to spend a great deal of time in soul-searching, family discussions, and meeting with the group leadership in efforts to rectify differences. When the problem was simply a misunderstanding, getting everything out in the open would quickly clear up any problems. Other, larger confrontations stemmed from troubles deep within organizational structures. Investigative probing revealed difficulties so vast that we knew our family’s voice could not have any positive influence. In those situations, we saw that it was time to pull out. When we deemed it necessary, we left immediately; other times we felt it beneficial to stay until a desired activity was concluded, then slip quietly away.

We have encountered anti-family philosophies in a wide assortment of organizations, all claiming to be child-centered and family-oriented. As I have said before, the proof is in the pudding. I have learned not to be fooled by words; anyone can say anything they like. A very wise pastor once said that you can tell a wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing by what he eats: wolves eat sheep. A wolf may disguise himself for a while, but sooner or later he has to eat a sheep — it’s what he does; it’s what he is; he cannot change his nature.

I became justifiably suspicious when told by a leader that parents were not allowed to sit in with the group, even when it met in that parent’s home. One leader pulled my child aside and coached the child, “You don’t agree with your parents, do you!” I have confronted administrators, forcing them to admit that, although they did not approve of what their underlings were teaching to children and felt it was wrong to do so, they would not take any measures to correct the behavior. I have also met face-to-face with parents who were not aware of their own children’s poor conduct, who thanked me for bringing it to their attention, and who took steps on the spot to reinstate the damaged relationship between our families.

I may sound rather cynical, but it is only because I have become cynical through misplaced trust. I now know (after more than a decade of homeschooling) that my children’s parents are the best teachers for them, and my children realize this fact also. We have all been taught through the school of experience that no one’s best intentions can replace the care and concern of family. If something about a group bothers you, consider that to be a red flag, and start looking around. As you screen things through your own “values filter,” you may find it to have a simple solution. You may occasionally find a much larger can of worms, but you will be grateful in the end that you took the effort to look. Your child is at stake. The risk is too great to ignore.

Filed Under: Behavior, Encouragement for Parents, Family Unity, Homeschooling as a Lifestyle, Parenting

Choose Your Battles

October 22, 2004 by Leave a Comment

As a parent, you realize this child-rearing business is war. However, your opponent is not your children; your opponent is every evil influence that tries to come between you and your children. The winning strategy in this war is to choose which battles you want to fight. Some battles are much more easily won than others are. Some battles are not worth your time and energy at all.

We went to church one warm, Sunday morning. There in the entry hall was another family greeting everyone who came in, but never acknowledging the appearance of their young son. Little Man stood proudly beside Mom and Dad in his Hawaiian shirt, soccer shorts, and cowboy boots. It was a moving moment for me to watch each family walk in, dressed in their “Sunday best,” greet Mom and Dad, glance down at Little Man, and then smile at the parents with only a silent nod as they moved on into the sanctuary. When one person did finally question Dad as to the unusual attire, Dad just chuckled and said, “You have to choose your battles.” The battle over shorts with cowboy boots was just not worth fighting, especially since this was merely a 4-year-old boy.

My son (at age 14) wanted to bleach his hair. A friend from church was known for bleaching his own hair often and offered to do my son’s at no charge. I am partial to naturally beautiful hair (like my son’s) but agreed to let him do this once. (Famous Last Words — The bleached hair phase actually lasted about 3 years, then progressed into the how-long-can-I-grow-an-Afro phase, and is now followed by the hey-look-a-goatee phase.) Hair grows out. Bleach it, dye it, shave it, grow it out — hair is flexible. Piercings and tattoos are a different story. I do not permit anything that permanently disfigures. After all, wedding pictures can be humiliating enough after a few years; they do not need any help from artificial adornments.

Shortly after my son’s first bleach job (just the tips: light blond on his nearly black, oh-so-wavy hair), we were shopping in a large department store. The clerk who rang up my purchases felt compelled to comment on my son’s appearance. She did not like it. She did not think I should have allowed him to do it. Her son had wanted to bleach his hair, and she said NO. “So what did he do? He went right out and got a tattoo and two piercings!” I smiled and replied, “Hair grows out. I can live with it.”

Back when my dear son was a darling little boy discovering a mind of his own, I had daily (make that hourly) battles with him over everything you can imagine. One particular day, we were going head-to-head over some long-since-forgotten subject. I was frantically praying for guidance in this current set-to, when I clearly heard The Voice I was calling out to. “This is a critical battle — hold your ground for just 30 seconds more,” was the directive. “Yeah, like that will make a difference,” was my instinctive reply, but I hung in there. It only took about 17 more seconds, and my strong-willed son caved. Mom won a very important victory that day. It was a turning point for us in the “Who’s In Charge Here” department. All the battles since that day have been negligible.

I watched other parents interacting with their children before I had my own and later as mine were growing up — keeping abreast of what phases were coming next and how to (or not to) handle them. I watched parents draw a hard line on simple things, only to lose the battle to a much more serious attack. One teenaged boy from our church wanted very much to put gel in his hair, but his ultra-conservative father protested. The boy used every substance he could find in the house on his hair, from vegetable shortening to toothpaste. If only the father had given in on allowing what he considered a “cosmetic,” he may have saved himself from the pain to come. The father and son battled throughout the high school years, until the son finally left for college — not the college the son had chosen, where all of his supportive friends were going, but the college where Mom and Dad had attended and fell in love with each other. The son soon returned home as a college drop-out, dressed in total rebellion, and behaving in ways that put the hair gel battle in its proper perspective. If only Dad had wisely chosen his battles…

I read somewhere once that children need a little rebellion to help them discover their own identities. The secret is to allow them to have small rebellions so that they do not need large rebellions. Hair grows out — hair is a small rebellion. I allowed the bleached hair to avoid the need for any larger rebellion.

Many parents make the mistake of thinking that they have to win every battle, every time, on every subject in order to maintain their authority. I think they are wrong. All they will succeed in maintaining is a dictatorship. Surprise your children once in a while by letting them have their way in something that amounts to a small battle — it will save you from a much larger battle later on.

Filed Under: Behavior, Discipline, Family Unity, Parenting
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