You and I Drive Different Cars

“What kind of car do you drive?” What kind of car do I drive? But I was asking You about why the world needs so many different churches… I don’t understand. “What kind of car do you drive?” Oh! Now I get it!

The dialogue occurred one day during a brief quiet time with God. I have been reminded of it in many situations since that time. You and I attend different churches. You and I utilize different homeschooling methods. You and I allow our children to be involved in different activities. You and I drive different cars.

Power windows, power locks, manual transmission, 4-wheel drive, power steering, leather seats, heated seats, DVD player, cup holders, luggage rack, dual gas tanks, automatic headlights. Some features may be luxuries; some features may be necessities. What may be a luxury in my life may be a necessity in your life. You and I drive different cars.

Perhaps I should feel guilty that I drive a minivan, because there are now rarely more than 3 people occupying it. But I know that the rest of the space is often used for hauling cargo: 1 or 2 guitars, my electric bass, my son’s djembe drum, my daughter’s clean laundry, and the furniture and household items as a child moves to or from college or apartment. Perhaps you have been criticized for driving a “gas-guzzling” SUV, but your critics do not stop to consider that few vehicles are equipped to carry your entire family of 10. You and I drive different cars.

Sometimes my “necessities” have shifted, depending on life’s circumstances. At one time, my children eagerly participated in “youth” events. At other times, we have avoided such groups like the plague. The deciding factors related to our family’s values: is this event family-friendly; does the sponsoring group try to usurp parental authority; do my children’s attitudes undergo a negative change when they are involved with this activity? Does this “car” have the features I really need?

Just because something is a priority for me does not mean it has to be a priority for you. As long as we are all moving forward in our chosen directions, we should not put ourselves under the unnecessary guilt of traveling at the exact same speed as others or with all the exact same baggage. You and I have both chosen to homeschool, and we both easily recognize the ways that make us different from those who do not homeschool. What is not so easily recognizable is how we are different from each other. You may not want to use all the same methods with your children that I use with my children, but that in itself does not make either of us “wrong.” It simply means that each of us can see what needs our families have, and you and I are each doing our best to meet those needs. Guilt-Free Homeschooling is achieved by recognizing that you and I drive different cars.

Any Dead Fish Can Float Downstream

I love the T-shirt that says, “Any dead fish can float downstream — Go against the flow!” It shows a simple, little Christian fish-symbol pointing in the opposite direction from a slew of ugly, decaying fish and fish skeletons that are being swept along in a stream of muck-water. That pretty much sums up my faith: I am willing to swim upstream against the strong tide of contemporary thought, because it means life to me instead of death. It is usually much easier to go along with the crowd mentality, but doing so contradicts everything that I stand for and believe in.

Homeschooling can be seen as a similar undertaking: homeschoolers often feel they are swimming upstream against all the counsel of their peers. Deciding to educate your children at home may not be an easy choice for you to make. It may prompt a very dramatic change to your family’s lifestyle. You may find yourselves surrounded by friends and relatives who think you have suddenly gone insane and feel it is their duty to remind you of that fact on a regular basis. You may choose to give up certain worldly luxuries in order to reprioritize your lives, focusing your efforts on giving your children what you believe to be the best educational option available.

If you find yourselves in such a situation of “going against the flow,” take courage. Reflect on your reasons for choosing to educate your children yourselves. Then close your ears to the negative propaganda bombarding your family, and stand firm. Know that even if you feel you are not swimming upstream, you can at least hold your ground and not be swept downstream. Staying in one place for a time assures that you are not losing ground, and enables you to build up the strength and courage to move forward eventually.

Deciding to homeschool often means deciding to do what you can to change your corner of the world. It takes a courageous person, someone with the strength to stand up for their convictions, someone unwilling to follow the rest of the lemmings, someone daring enough and bold enough to say, “I’ve had enough. Let me do it my way now.” You may encounter much resistance, many dead fish floating downstream, obstructing your way and hindering your progress. Be patient, be brave, be encouraged — you are beginning the adventure of a lifetime, one that your children’s destiny depends upon. Go against the flow — you will not regret it.

Start Homeschooling for One Reason, but Continue for Another

The “last straw” that finally convinced us to begin homeschooling was hearing homeschool advocate Gregg Harris on a local talk-radio program. He was promoting an upcoming seminar (which my husband and I quickly made arrangements to attend) and was giving myriad reasons why a growing number of families were choosing to educate their children at home.

The seemingly trivial reasons that actually caught my attention dealt with the hassles caused by public school’s time schedules. We had found that public school activities and programs frequently kept our children up past their bedtimes, causing them to be difficult to start off again the next morning. Mr. Harris touched on the rush to get up, get dressed, eat breakfast, and get to school on time — a continual struggle at our house. He light-heartedly mentioned that homeschooling removes all those rush-rush problems: if you find yourselves up too late at night, sleep in a little the next day, and then begin school on your own timetable. School lunches would no longer be offensive to picky eaters: Mom’s cooking would always be readily available. Homework would also disappear as an after-school trauma: enough time could be allotted during each subject to do all the work necessary for the day’s lesson. I found myself much more interested in homeschooling after hearing just a few of these statements by Mr. Harris, reasons that I had not personally considered before.

For many years we had known families who homeschooled. We met the first ones when our daughter was a year old. We currently had several families in our church who homeschooled, making no lack of people to turn to for support and encouragement. I had never considered homeschooling as an option for us until this point, when, suddenly, homeschooling looked like the solution to many of the problems plaguing our household.

The primary reasons for homeschooling that we gave to family and friends were health-related. They all knew that our daughter had been plagued by tremendous headaches for several years and sympathized with our need to make a drastic lifestyle change for her sake. She often could not endure an entire day at school: once her headache became intense, the noise of the classroom was intolerable and she needed to come home for relief. She was always able to do some subjects without difficulty, but others critically depended on her ability to concentrate. We had been to doctor after doctor, endured all sorts of tests, tried a variety of medicines (to no avail), and fought ten rounds with the schools over attendance policies (even though her grades never lagged). We even changed from one public school to another in an attempt to find an administration that would listen to us and help us cope. When the school nurse declared that a child who did not run a temperature or vomit was not actually “sick,” we knew we had finally reached the end of that rope. Something drastic had to happen. Homeschooling provided an ideal solution: our daughter could do schoolwork during the hours when she felt well, and she could lie down to rest when she felt ill without conflicting with anyone. She could do the easy subjects any day and save the harder subjects for the days when her head could tolerate intense concentration. (Along with our adaptation to homeschooling came a change in diet, prompted by much research into the various probable causes of headaches, resulting in success in controlling her headaches and other related symptoms.)

As our first year of homeschooling passed and we began our second year, we became more enthusiastic about learning at home. We were shaking off most of the public school trappings of schedules and preconceived ideas of what certain academic subjects should resemble. We were becoming independent in our homeschooling. We attended field trips, play days, and family potlucks with other homeschoolers. We took days off to have spontaneous family days with Dad. We drew closer as a family unit; we enjoyed each other’s company. We began to see other, deeper reasons for homeschooling.

I had read about people who said they homeschooled for “religious reasons.” I was not sure I understood that at the time, thinking they must be much more radical in their faith than I was, but now I was beginning to see their point of view. Public school had a very anti-family overtone to it that was not voiced aloud, just understood: they were the professional educators; we could not possibly pass anything of importance on to our children. Personal Christian values were pushed aside at public school, even by teachers who were themselves faithful, believing Christians. By homeschooling, we could make our beliefs the most important aspect anytime, all the time, if we wanted. We could ignore the witches and hobgoblins of Halloween. We could be truly thankful for God’s blessings at Thanksgiving. We could take time to celebrate “Christmas,” and not “Winter Break.” We could sing songs with their original words and not the carefully rewritten, politically correct lyrics we were so often forced to endure in public school programs.

Although we had begun homeschooling for the reasons of caring for our daughter’s health and adapting family-friendly scheduling, we soon began to realize that our Christian faith played a dramatic part in our reasons to continue homeschooling. We thoroughly enjoyed being able to concentrate on creation science and point out the difficulties with evolutionary theories. We could count Christian fiction as literature, not just as pleasure reading material only to be indulged in during one’s private hours. We designated a large block of time each day to Mom reading aloud from Christian books — a huge children’s book of Bible stories, the Chronicles of Narnia series, the Little House series, Frank Peretti’s Cooper Kids series, and many others. We discussed our faith, what made it important to us, and how we saw it being strengthened through homeschooling. We could tie in scripture to any subject where we saw an application, without fearing that we might offend another student or violate an administrative policy. We sadly watched public school friends become increasingly influenced by peer pressure in all areas of their lives, including Christians who made choices contrary to their faith.

We made the decision to homeschool based on one set of reasons, primarily health related. We continued our decision to homeschool based on another set of reasons, primarily the freedom to practice our chosen religion in every facet of our lives.

Do the Best Job You Can and Pray for God to Clean Up the Rest

I remember the first time I ever heard about homeschooling. We were visiting our friends Mike and Barb Webb in Colorado, who had just begun teaching their three boys at home. As with many of you, my first reaction was, “Can you do that?” Barb laughed and assured me that, yes, it was not only quite possible and legal, but it was also extremely fun. Barb, Mike, and the boys spent the rest of our visit showing us the fruits of homeschooling: taking us on a picnic-turned-berry-picking-adventure in the mountains, making jelly from the wild berries while listening to Mike and the young boys discuss deep scientific topics, watching those rough-and-tumble boys play oh-so tenderly with our 16-month-old daughter, and recounting story after story from their homeschooling experiences. The boys delightedly identified birds soaring high overhead or butterflies and moths with only a fleeting glance.

Being a total newbie to this idea of educating my own offspring, I was full of wonder and questions. I should probably credit Barb with incubating the idea of being able to homeschool without loads of guilt hanging over one’s head. I had asked questions and listened intently to her answers for hours on end when I finally got around to The Big Question we all dread: How do you know you are doing enough? Barb’s soft but confident answer still echoes in my heart: “You do the best job you can, and you pray for God to clean up the rest.”

Her explanation was most likely prompted by a confused expression on my face. Barb went on to give me a spontaneous teaching on how God only expects us to measure up to our own “best” level, not anyone else’s capabilities. Once we have done our best, we have nothing to feel guilty about — we know we gave it all we had. Any mistakes we make along the way can be laid at the foot of the cross, repented of, and left in God’s hands. He alone is big enough to wipe away the tears and scars of past hurts. He alone is able to call us by a new name and give us new lives. He is the one who makes us new creatures — all things become new in Him.

Moms and Dads, do the best job at homeschooling that you are capable of doing. Pray for wisdom and guidance, knowing that God will give it — He will not give a stone when asked for bread (Matthew 7:7-11). Then pray for your insufficiencies to be covered by His grace. God is more than capable of filling in the gaps we leave. After all, God is the One who invented this homeschooling process in the first place (Deuteronomy 6:4-9).

Homeschool Beginnings — A Child’s Point of View

(This article was written by Jenny: homeschool graduate, Guilt-Free intern, and computer whiz.)

To homeschool or not to homeschool — parents often have a hard time making this decision. I want to provide you with the view of a homeschool graduate, giving you an idea of how a child might react to the proposal to homeschool.

I have now graduated from college with a bachelor’s degree in business administration, but how I was able to make it to this point is the real story. I started out in public school, where I was educated until the summer before fifth grade when my parents made the decision to educate me at home. The deciding factors in the situation were all issues that I agreed with them on completely, but it was the idea of homeschooling that I was not as in agreement with. In fact, I was against being homeschooled from the beginning.

My objections were numerous, I had no idea how my parents thought they were going to teach me — after all, what could they possibly know? Secondly, I was objecting to the loss of all my friends from school. Another qualm that I had was merely a fear of the unknown, I had friends who were being homeschooled, and although they seemed normal and happy enough, I knew very little about homeschooling. Overall, I really did not think homeschooling was the education for me, though I knew how much I hated the public school system.

In the summer before we started homeschooling, I was upset and scared. I had an attitude typical of children in public school — I thought my parents were not smart, and I did not have confidence in them to trust them with my social life or education because I did not think they really understood me — or could ever understand me. This common misconception was dispelled soon enough, but it did take some time.

The fear I had decreased after I talked to a good friend who had been homeschooled for his entire education. He encouraged me to try homeschooling, and explained to me a little bit about how homeschooling would work, and the many benefits I would have because of homeschooling. After this conversation, I was more willing to be homeschooled, but I still doubted that my parents were capable of such a task.

The first few weeks of schooling were certainly a testing period. Mom was unsure of her capability as a teacher, and I was just as unsure. At first it was like play, we did workbooks and educational exercises, and it was like pretend school — it was kind of fun. The reality set in later that this was school, and as that reality dawned, so did the reality that homeschooling was actually school, and it was a great alternative to the public school system I had been in.

I was also enjoying the benefits of homeschooling. I liked being able to take a break for a snack or bathroom break anytime. I did not have to watch the clock pass time away as I sat and did nothing because I was ahead of the other students. I also did not have to work hard later in the evening to catch up on the homework that I was slower on than the other students. Strangely enough, mom could also teach math so much better than the teachers that I had in public school. We also were able to watch the Andy Griffith show during lunch, providing a pleasant break and laugh as well as some family time between subjects. My favorite aspect of homeschooling throughout the experience was that homeschooling took so much less time than the 7 or so hours that we had been held captive at public school.

By Christmas of the first year, I was thoroughly enjoying my homeschooling experience. I realized that mom was a LOT smarter than my friends had convinced me that parents were. I also liked being able to hold it over my friends that homeschooling took little time, and that I actually was enjoying the assignments that I had. I could listen to whatever music that I wanted to, in my own room, and start school at any time. For a while, I got up at 6am and did my work before anyone else was up, so I could play by 10am. At other times, I would sleep in and start my work later in the day. My puppy could sit by me while I worked or in my lap if I could manage it.

Socialization was not a problem either. I soon realized that the children I had considered friends at public school were hardly people that I wanted to spend time with, and the few that I did like to be around I remained friends with through outside activities. I still had all my friends from church and clubs, and I was able to do many “social” activities with mom, like going to the store during the day. Our family also joined a couple of homeschool groups, with which we could do group activities like field trips and coop classes.

By high school, the benefits were great: I could do my work at my own discretion and was able to get ahead by an entire year. I took college classes during my senior year, and was able to be acclimated to that culture in advance (another good “socialization” opportunity that I had because I was homeschooled). I got along well with the teachers, and even was commended by them several times for the wonderful education I entered college with. Many of my teachers were amazed at how well I could grasp the topics they were teaching, or even that I could write full sentences with some semblance of grammar.

Today I am fully convinced that I got the best education at home. Beyond that, I was able to avoid many of the downfalls of the public school system and benefited from advantages of school at home. Our family has become quite close through homeschooling, a result that I doubt we would have gotten if my brother and I had gone through the public school system where peer pressure encourages children to disregard their siblings and parents as stupid and useless appendages. I intend to homeschool my children as well when I have a family, and I trust they will have as successful of an experience as I have had.

I encourage everyone to try homeschooling. I believe that once you give it a chance the benefits will outweigh and overrule your doubts.

Who Taught This Kid to Walk, Talk, and Potty?

It is my standard soapbox-speech when a young mom hesitatingly asks me if I think she could possibly homeschool. Who taught this kid to walk, talk, go potty, feed himself, dress himself, tie his shoes, say his ABC’s, print his name, sing Happy Birthday, and count to 10? YOU did, Mom, that’s who. Now the government thinks you are not qualified to teach him to read and add 2 plus 2? No one knows this child better than you do; therefore, no one is better qualified to teach him than you are.

It may be true that you do not have a university degree in early childhood education. It may be true that you have never formally studied anything about education. It may be true that you have no idea what you will do about teaching chemistry or calculus. It may be true that you were a poor student yourself in school who barely graduated and never had any desire for continuing your education after high school. Frankly, I do not think any of that matters. I repeat, no one knows this child better than you do; therefore, no one is better qualified to teach him than you are.

When we began our homeschooling adventure, we told our families and friends it was “for a year… to start with… then we’ll see where to go from there.” I knew in the back of my mind that there would be no turning back. I knew my commitment was for the duration, but I concentrated on the present, the temporary, the easier-to-deal-with.

I also knew that the government system had failed to meet my daughter’s needs. I had seen the Kindergarten teacher attempting to manipulate me regarding my son’s behavior. My son, incidentally, was no different from any other 6-year-old boy, not in need of medication or behavior modification or counseling, just in need of space and the freedom to play in it. I was quite confident that I could do a better job for both of my children. I understood my daughter’s headaches that made it impossible for her to do math some days, even though she could still enjoy reading. I understood my son’s desire to tell jokes and perform silly tricks for an audience. I felt I could work around those things and still educate my children. I just needed the encouragement to give it a try.

Let me now be the voice of encouragement for you: You can do this, Mom and Dad. Stop to reflect on all the things you have taught your children already. Let me repeat once again, no one knows this child better than you do; therefore, no one is better qualified to teach him than you are. End of discussion.

What is the problem with homeschooling?

(This article was written by Jenny.)

Today I was in a class that was discussing President Bush’s “no child left behind” act which requires that children pass a test at 4th grade in order for the school to retain their funding and also Governor Vilsack’s proposed bill that requires every child to pass a test at 3rd grade in order to go on to 4th grade. The professor asked the class what changes need to be made to our education system in order for children to be able to learn what they need to know by grades 3 and 4 to pass these tests. She mentioned how children enter kindergarten with varied levels of skills, some know the alphabet, some can read a little, some can write full sentences already, and some are the children of immigrants and barely know any English at all.

Many students in my class offered suggestions for changes that included segregating boys and girls; offering special classes for those who are at, below, or above average learning levels; teaching all children all the languages of those in the class; etc. Being the bold supporter of homeschooling that I am, I raised my hand with the suggestion of homeschooling because:
1) children get individual attention suited to their exact needs
2) children can learn at their own pace
3) homeschoolers are not bound by standardized tests.

My professor immediately jumped on this one and asked the class “what is the problem with homeschooling?” Now, personally, I was unaware that there is a problem with homeschooling. I was homeschooled for seven years and had the public school education of elementary school to compare homeschooling to, and yet I found homeschooling to be incredibly superior. The students in the class all had an answer to why homeschooling was a problem. Of course I heard “socialization,” but to my surprise my professor thought the biggest problem was the lack of certification by homeschooled teachers. Now I do not know about you, but I would rather know that my child can read and is being taught by an uncertified teacher (myself), than have the “comfort” that although my child cannot read, her teacher is certified. I guess my professor has other ideas.

Verified by MonsterInsights