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Homeschool Beginnings — A Child’s Point of View

July 12, 2004 by 1 Comment

(This article was written by Jenny: homeschool graduate, Guilt-Free intern, and computer whiz.)

To homeschool or not to homeschool — parents often have a hard time making this decision. I want to provide you with the view of a homeschool graduate, giving you an idea of how a child might react to the proposal to homeschool.

I have now graduated from college with a bachelor’s degree in business administration, but how I was able to make it to this point is the real story. I started out in public school, where I was educated until the summer before fifth grade when my parents made the decision to educate me at home. The deciding factors in the situation were all issues that I agreed with them on completely, but it was the idea of homeschooling that I was not as in agreement with. In fact, I was against being homeschooled from the beginning.

My objections were numerous, I had no idea how my parents thought they were going to teach me — after all, what could they possibly know? Secondly, I was objecting to the loss of all my friends from school. Another qualm that I had was merely a fear of the unknown, I had friends who were being homeschooled, and although they seemed normal and happy enough, I knew very little about homeschooling. Overall, I really did not think homeschooling was the education for me, though I knew how much I hated the public school system.

In the summer before we started homeschooling, I was upset and scared. I had an attitude typical of children in public school — I thought my parents were not smart, and I did not have confidence in them to trust them with my social life or education because I did not think they really understood me — or could ever understand me. This common misconception was dispelled soon enough, but it did take some time.

The fear I had decreased after I talked to a good friend who had been homeschooled for his entire education. He encouraged me to try homeschooling, and explained to me a little bit about how homeschooling would work, and the many benefits I would have because of homeschooling. After this conversation, I was more willing to be homeschooled, but I still doubted that my parents were capable of such a task.

The first few weeks of schooling were certainly a testing period. Mom was unsure of her capability as a teacher, and I was just as unsure. At first it was like play, we did workbooks and educational exercises, and it was like pretend school — it was kind of fun. The reality set in later that this was school, and as that reality dawned, so did the reality that homeschooling was actually school, and it was a great alternative to the public school system I had been in.

I was also enjoying the benefits of homeschooling. I liked being able to take a break for a snack or bathroom break anytime. I did not have to watch the clock pass time away as I sat and did nothing because I was ahead of the other students. I also did not have to work hard later in the evening to catch up on the homework that I was slower on than the other students. Strangely enough, mom could also teach math so much better than the teachers that I had in public school. We also were able to watch the Andy Griffith show during lunch, providing a pleasant break and laugh as well as some family time between subjects. My favorite aspect of homeschooling throughout the experience was that homeschooling took so much less time than the 7 or so hours that we had been held captive at public school.

By Christmas of the first year, I was thoroughly enjoying my homeschooling experience. I realized that mom was a LOT smarter than my friends had convinced me that parents were. I also liked being able to hold it over my friends that homeschooling took little time, and that I actually was enjoying the assignments that I had. I could listen to whatever music that I wanted to, in my own room, and start school at any time. For a while, I got up at 6am and did my work before anyone else was up, so I could play by 10am. At other times, I would sleep in and start my work later in the day. My puppy could sit by me while I worked or in my lap if I could manage it.

Socialization was not a problem either. I soon realized that the children I had considered friends at public school were hardly people that I wanted to spend time with, and the few that I did like to be around I remained friends with through outside activities. I still had all my friends from church and clubs, and I was able to do many “social” activities with mom, like going to the store during the day. Our family also joined a couple of homeschool groups, with which we could do group activities like field trips and coop classes.

By high school, the benefits were great: I could do my work at my own discretion and was able to get ahead by an entire year. I took college classes during my senior year, and was able to be acclimated to that culture in advance (another good “socialization” opportunity that I had because I was homeschooled). I got along well with the teachers, and even was commended by them several times for the wonderful education I entered college with. Many of my teachers were amazed at how well I could grasp the topics they were teaching, or even that I could write full sentences with some semblance of grammar.

Today I am fully convinced that I got the best education at home. Beyond that, I was able to avoid many of the downfalls of the public school system and benefited from advantages of school at home. Our family has become quite close through homeschooling, a result that I doubt we would have gotten if my brother and I had gone through the public school system where peer pressure encourages children to disregard their siblings and parents as stupid and useless appendages. I intend to homeschool my children as well when I have a family, and I trust they will have as successful of an experience as I have had.

I encourage everyone to try homeschooling. I believe that once you give it a chance the benefits will outweigh and overrule your doubts.

Filed Under: Deciding to Homeschool, Family Unity, Homeschool v. Public School, Sibling Relationships, Socialization

A Homeschool Success Story: Teaching a 5th Grader to Read

July 7, 2004 by 1 Comment

We had pulled our children out of public school with my daughter starting fifth grade and my son beginning first grade. My daughter had been taught to “read” with this farce: when you come to a word you do not know, think of a word that begins with the same sound as the first letter of the unknown word, and if it fits in the sentence, it is probably right. Wrong. As I evaluated her reading ability, I realized she was guessing at more words than she was reading — and guessing incorrectly. She would use most of the letter-sounds in a word, but pronounce them in random order, a process which could lead the unsuspecting to cry “Dyslexia!” But I knew better. She was a very bright child who had grown slower and more despondent with each year of public schooling. She caught on to activities done at home with lightning speed, but the formal education lessons just did not take.

I had learned to read in first grade through a very thorough phonics program and was teaching my young son phonics as well, so I quickly recognized that my dear daughter had not had the benefit of learning to “sound out” entire words, even though she obviously knew the letter sounds. Her government school had pushed reading activities, using the read-as-many-books-as-possible-this-month rallies. Whenever that came along, my daughter would go back through the little children’s storybooks we owned, rereading them year after year, instead of pursuing new reading material. Reading familiar things was obviously much easier and more comfortable for her than the effort involved in tackling anything new.

Trying desperately not to bruise the psyche of this sensitive 10-year-old, I suggested that perhaps we needed to expand her reading capabilities by teaching her a new method for discovering how to read unknown words. Our supervising teacher that year was a close friend and (coincidentally) special education teacher who recommended her favorite remedial phonics system — a 2-week “crash course” in phonics for older students. (Ironic, isn’t it, that the “special ed” kids eventually get taught phonics, but the “normal” ones never do?) Although I knew my daughter’s capabilities well enough not to suspect learning disabilities, I knew she needed help — and fast, before she got discouraged with homeschooling and a mom who corrected her whenever she read a word incorrectly. It was a complete shock to me at that time that she had gone so many years in public school without anyone noticing that she was not reading at grade level (in 5th grade, she was accurately reading only the words for 2nd grade level). That revelation was the point when whatever faith I had left in free government education went swirling down the drain.

I bought the recommended book (Mary Pecci’s At Last! A Reading Method for Every Child), took my daughter through the 2-week crash course, and then thought “Now what?” Seeing she needed more practice to reinforce her newly learned skills, I grabbed my son’s phonics book for a guide and wrote my own remedial phonics practice sheets for fifth grade “beginning” phonics. I made up word games and puzzles to make the lessons fun and yet challenging. After I felt she had gained enough skill and confidence (and could actually read big new words), I challenged her to go back to one of the books she had “read” several times and read it again, this time sounding out the difficult words. I was confident that she would see the change in how many words she had guessed at before, but I was not prepared for her response: “Mom, you ruined this story! It’s a whole different book now!” However, her emotion was based more in surprise than anger, because she also realized how poor her reading skills had been. She also saw that her newfound ability to break a word into syllables and sound them out meant that no word in the world was too difficult for her now. We pulled long words out of the dictionary and chemical names from shampoo labels and she correctly read them all. Her desire to read Little Golden Books was quickly transferred to long chapter books, and the bookshelves in her bedroom grew heavy with her expanding collection of favorites.

Once reading was no longer a struggle, her schoolwork became a challenge for me as I was pressed to keep up with her, checking her work and reading over her assignments. During Christmas break of her 7th grade year, she calmly asked if I had ordered her 8th grade English book yet. Baffled as to why she would care nine months early, I said that no, of course I had not ordered next year’s book yet — why would she ask such a silly question? Her reply left me speechless: “Because I just finished the 7th grade book and I’m ready to start the next one.” I ordered the book.

She continued at that pace, to graduate from high school ten days before her 17th birthday — sixteen years old, with 7 credit hours at the community college in chemistry and English composition. She has now graduated from a 4-year college with a Bachelor of Arts in Business Administration — at age 20. Another day I will tell you about my son who just graduated from Homeschool High with 26 hours of college credits.

Filed Under: Encouraging Your Student, Homeschool How-To's, Phonics, Reading, Visual Learning

Meatball Education: Filling in the Potholes of Public School

June 30, 2004 by 3 Comments

Some of you are wishing you could pull your children out of the classrooms they’re already in, but feel that would be too difficult or traumatic. Fiddlesticks. Adjusting from an organized school system to homeschooling does take time and effort, but it is well worth it. I remember hearing somewhere that I should expect an average of one month of homeschooling to adjust for every year of public school — double that if the child attended preschool. My daughter had attended 5 years of public school (K through 4th) plus preschool, making for about a 12-month adjustment period to homeschooling. In her case, that was very accurate. By the beginning of our second year of homeschooling, she was “in the groove” and loving it.

The adjustment was rocky at first for all of us, but grew easier with time. I had never homeschooled children before, but they had never been homeschooled before either, so we were breaking new ground together. Many times we cuddled together and cried together and vowed to get through this together. We changed methods, we changed books, we kept trying new things until we found the things that worked.

So if you do pull your children out of public school, then what? You are thinking that you cannot fix the potholes in their education until they will recognize you as their teacher; you cannot get them to recognize you as their teacher until you can prove yourself by teaching them; you cannot teach them until you can fix the potholes in their education.

A magical transformation takes place on your first day of homeschooling: Student asks a question, and Mom gives the answer. Suddenly Mom is seen as Teacher. Student recognizes that Mom knows stuff. Occasionally, Mom may not know the answer, but Smart Mom will reply, “Let’s find the answer together.” And an exercise in research skills is begun. There is no crime in reading the answer out of the teacher’s manual or answer book — that is why you bought it! (Only purchase those for the subjects in which you really need them — hopefully not for 2nd grade reading.)

I am a die-hard fan of reruns of the old TV show M*A*S*H, in which the surgeons performed what they referred to as “meatball surgery.” They saved their patients lives, then sent them on their way to another hospital for more complete care. As homeschoolers, we often have to do a similar thing, patching up the missed portions of education, so that the rest of the child’s education can be furthered. If you have brought your students back home from government school, you will find potholes. There is just no way to keep a classroom of 30 students moving along without dragging a few along the way. Even if your student was the brightest in the class, he probably got bored waiting for the others to catch up and missed something. That is a pothole. Meatball Education fills in those potholes.

You will start homeschooling and be sailing along, gaining momentum, until one day — BAM — out of nowhere you fall into a pothole. We found potholes called “fractions” and “decimals” and “using commas in a series” and even “how to pronounce the word ‘a’.” A pothole means that you have to put your current lesson aside and fill in the missing part before you can proceed. Try some of these lines to help you and your students get through the potholes and back out the other side:
“I’m not just your mom, I’m your teacher; but I’m not just your teacher, I’m your mom.”
“Love comes free with the education. One free hug with each question asked.”
“You can sit on my lap while we do this particularly difficult lesson.”

Do not be discouraged — finding a pothole simply means you are educating. Look upon potholes as merit badges: I have found another one; I am filling in the gaps in my student’s education.

Filed Under: Encouragement for Parents, Homeschool How-To's, Leaving Public School

Siblings as Best Friends

June 22, 2004 by Leave a Comment

Siblings as Best Friends follows right on the heels of The Family as a Team. Let me first explain my viewpoint on this topic. I grew up as the last of four children, five years younger than my nearest sibling. We were all spaced out over twelve years, a little more room between children each time, leaving me with little in common with my brother and sisters other than parents. Sibling rivalry was rampant, picking-on-the-little-kid was tolerated, and I was miserable. Fast-forward to the point in time when all of us became married adults. My nearest sibling and I became friends for the first time — twenty years behind schedule. When I recognized this wasted relationship and realized that we could have been friends much sooner, I determined not to let my own children waste that time in their own lives.

In teaching my children the lessons of taking turns in game-playing and how playing by the rules is fair to all players, I also tried to teach them that playing the game is fun for the whole time, while winning or losing the game only lasts for a moment. I explained over and over to them how my sister and I never enjoyed playing together as children because we were so hung up on things that did not really matter. We could not see through children’s eyes that friends will come and go, but siblings are forever. My children are not perfect examples, but they do get along most of the time. They have seen friends move away, they have matured at different rates from their friends, they have developed different interests from their friends, and through it all they have recognized that a sibling is always there. Siblings will be there to play with or talk with when no one else is around. If your children can develop solid friendships with their siblings, they will be giving themselves the gift of friends for life.

Sibling rivalry is reportedly at its peak between the ages of 4 and 8. Bear that in mind as you encourage your children to grow and mature and learn to understand their younger siblings’ maturity levels. We parents, myself included, often fall into the trap of expecting the oldest child to be more responsible than his age allows, but we also tend to neglect teaching responsibility to our younger children, allowing them to slide along as Oldest Child assumes the burden of leadership. I am a firm believer that explanations to children, giving reasons why behavior is acceptable or unacceptable, go much farther towards improving the behavior than just a simple “thanks” or “stop that.”

A very vital part of developing sibling friendships is not tolerating torture. If those little people are to become friends and remain friends, they cannot be allowed to pick on each other. Ridicule is out. Incessant tickling is out as well — as a former target of tickling myself, I consider it to be a form of child abuse. Parents, take a good look at the behavior between siblings (or between parents/adults and children as well) and analyze the motivation behind that behavior. Is it encouraging and strengthening to their relationship? Or does it stem from jealousy? A wonderful by-product of sibling friendships is seen when one stands up for another to a third-party antagonizer. If you do not defend your sibling, who will? And if they do not stand up for you, who will?

What better way to demonstrate Biblical principles and God’s agape love than to point out selfish, unacceptable behavior for the sin that it is and then replace it with true Love. “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13 NASB) Use the opportunity to show your children the scriptures and remind them of how Jesus put His own needs and desires after those of others. Jesus did not demand His own way: He served.

Now a quick word about “extended” families: We have discovered recently that college roommates can become new siblings. When children have mastered sibling relationships, they are able to go off to college and successfully reside in a small dormitory room with total strangers. They simply treat the strangers as “new siblings I haven’t met before.” The college roommates do not always come with the siblings-as-friends philosophy as standard equipment, but they can catch on quickly! My daughter’s college friends (male or female) and roommates responded very well to being included as new members of our family. Sadly, many had never been treated with respect before in a family situation and loved the idea of not being ridiculed or picked on.

Filed Under: Encouraging Your Student, Family Unity, Homeschooling as a Lifestyle, Parenting, Sibling Relationships

Family Is Spelled T-E-A-M

June 18, 2004 by Leave a Comment

Alexandre Dumas said it best in The Three Musketeers: “All for one, and one for all.” My family is a singular unit, even though it appears to be made up of individuals. We work together to accomplish our common goals, with unity of purpose as a wonderful side benefit.

For example, each one of us has learned how to operate the washer and dryer for doing laundry, a common practice in many families. However, in this family, if one individual needs a specific load of laundry done, he/she does not simply do his/her own laundry. Instead all family members are questioned to find out if anyone else also has items to be added to that load — a practice that promotes teamwork and unity, rather than selfishness and isolation.

Other household chores are also done with a teamwork principle, rather than being assigned in turns. Each chore is usually done by only one person at a time (or with Mom’s discipleship), but we do not always schedule who is going to do it next. Our goal is “getting the job done for the good of the family.” “Taking turns” is a valuable skill, most often used in playing games and other recreational pursuits. Taking turns does teach patience and sharing. However, in a home environment where all members benefit from the performance of a specific duty, all members should be ready and willing to perform that duty whenever it needs doing. Emptying or loading the dishwasher; taking out the trash; washing, drying, and folding laundry; sweeping, vacuuming, and dusting; lawn-mowing, leaf-raking, and snow-shoveling — these are regular household chores that benefit all members of the family and therefore get done by all members of the family. Ever-present Mom usually acts as superintendent, assigning chores as needed to whomever is available, but we all understand that if one person is not available to do it this time, chances are good that he will be expected to do it another time when he is available. Substituting for each other ensures that each person knows how to do each job and also builds the family-as-team concept.

A sidebar issue to “This Family Is a Team” is “Siblings as Best Friends.” You may be in disbelief at this concept depending on the ages of your children, but give me a chance and I will explain.

Filed Under: Family Unity, Home Chores, Homeschooling as a Lifestyle

Who Wrote This “Rule Book” and Why Do I Think I Have to Follow It?

June 14, 2004 by Leave a Comment

It took me a few years to learn how to homeschool. At first, we tried to duplicate school at home. Bad idea. Public school held too many bad memories for my daughter, and she needed to be freed from that bondage. My son had only experienced Kindergarten at the public school, so he did not have as many preconceived ideas of what school was supposed to be like and readily accepted whatever we did.

Each successive year brought new changes for us as we relaxed more and more and allowed formality to drop away in favor of a more comfortable, Guilt-Free style. I stopped keeping a detailed journal of what my students accomplished each day. I developed a check-off chart system for lesson plans that showed where we were in our schedule and made the journal redundant. I relaxed my schedule to allow for unexpected illnesses or unplanned days off. I realized that time off before Christmas is much more valuable than time off after New Year’s. I forced myself to ignore the guilt feelings that came from skipping an uninteresting field trip with our homeschool group. Since my students voluntarily reported on everything they read, we opted to skip the questions at the end of the chapters in science or history and moved on to reading the next chapter. They obviously had learned the material and were just anxious to keep going. We passed over writing assignments in language arts that we felt were especially tedious or irrelevant. I read aloud to my children each day, sometimes several chapters a day when we were in a particularly fascinating book. We kept the learning methods we enjoyed, and we explored other materials for the subjects we detested.

As we began to do school our way, I began to feel more confident. I found myself encouraging other beginning homeschoolers that once you have achieved your second September, you begin to feel like a veteran. You think to yourself, I have done this before. I know how to handle it.

Whenever I caught myself doing something strictly because I thought I was supposed to, without any concrete reason for doing it, I defiantly shouted my new battle cry: “Who wrote this ‘Rule Book’ and why do I think I have to follow it?” It was my own personal declaration of independence. I had realized that there are as many correct ways to homeschool as there are correct reasons to homeschool. I saw that just because someone else teaches in a certain way, it does not mean that my children will benefit from that method as well.

Another facet of this freedom was discovered when my students confirmed my observation that if the teacher and the student are both at the point of tears, it is not the fault of either of them — the curriculum is to blame. The curriculum itself is not necessarily poorly written, it just does not present the material in the way the student will best learn it. I studied learning styles and discovered that students do not all learn in the same ways. When I changed materials and techniques, each student learned better. (Learned, period.) I began tailoring assignments to match each student’s interests and then practically had to step out of their way — it was like adding gasoline to a flame. The right presentation of the material “connects” with the student in such a way as to promote self-teaching. I no longer had to nag or badger — they would eagerly go through the material on their own.

If you or your students are having difficulties in your homeschool, take another look at what “rule book” you are following. Ask yourself if you are doing things in a way that is comfortable and relaxed and fits your family’s lifestyle, or are you going against the natural grain and suffering the guilt and stress of unsuccessful struggles. Discover your reasons for what you teach and how you teach it, then proceed Guilt-Free.

Filed Under: Curriculum Choices, Encouragement for Parents, Homeschool How-To's, Learning Styles

Summer — a Help or a Hindrance?

June 10, 2004 by 3 Comments

A common question among homeschoolers is: Should you teach through the summer or let your students have the time off? Perhaps your students need extra help on lessons, but you need the break? Summer can be a relaxing time and a difficult time all at the same time. (Sometimes students may choose to use summer to get ahead, but that does not usually upset routines too much, so I will save that topic for a later date.)

Speaking from personal experience, our family did something a little different each summer. When the extra help was really needed to catch up, a 1/2-lesson in math was assigned for each day. However, when only one student was assigned schoolwork and the rest of the household was operating on a looser summer schedule, getting those lessons actually done was often as tricky as threading a needle in the dark while wearing mittens. I must admit, on some days it felt like punishment for both student and teacher, rather than the reality of extra time devoted to learning.

Our best success in retaining knowledge came from playing many games that used math skills during the summer and finding other creative ways to keep using the recently-learned material instead of allowing it to slowly fade into oblivion. Any game using money or keeping a running point score provided painless practice in math. When all the board games and card games became boring, we invented new ways to combine them and keep on playing. The “Gee Whiz Quiz” came about during one of these summers, adding a scavenger hunt atmosphere (and some age-appropriate math) to the well-used game closet.

Once I suggested that my children host a backyard carnival for their neighborhood friends. The planning and preparing of simple, midway-style games kept their minds active in anticipating problems and finding solutions. Another time we researched the solar system and plotted it out across the length of our lot, starting at the front sidewalk near the street and ending at the alley behind our house. Seeing the actual scale-model distances between the planets gave us a better idea of the vastness of the universe. The family vacation could be chronicled as a newspaper for Grandma, or simply journaled one entry per day in a hardcover notebook.

Free reading time has always been a summer favorite. Reluctant readers can be enticed to try something different by letting them watch a video version first to capture their interest. My son watched Jules Verne’s Journey to the Center of the Earth and found it so fascinating that he read the entire book. I try to read a couple of books over the summer, too. It is a recharging time for me, and my students get to observe reading as a not-just-for-kids activity.

Our minds often need the summer break, just as muscles need a rest period after vigorous exercise. Whenever possible, allow the time off, but with a few mind-stretching activities mingled in to keep the thinking processes sharp. Encourage your students to use their “free time” to expand their knowledge of a hobby or pursue an interest they do not usually get time for during the school year. Just because the lessons are on hold, it does not mean they cannot be learning.

Filed Under: Activity Ideas, Homeschool How-To's, Kinesthetic Learning
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