Archives for August 2006

Redeeming a Disaster Day

This was a bad day. A horrible day. A day which has made you question why in the world you ever dared to think that you could homeschool your own children in the first place. This was a Really.Bad.Day. You would be tempted to call it The Worst Day Ever Possible, except that you are afraid that tomorrow may sink even lower.

Parents who are new to homeschooling, as well as those who have been at this for several years, will all experience Disaster Days from time to time. Books will disappear. Previously learned lessons will evaporate from memories. Chores will remain undone. Pencils will remain untouched. Children will fight. Children will scream. Parents will scream back. Tears will flow.

Right now, you need to take a few deep breaths and try to stop shaking. Let the children go outside to play in the relative safety of the back yard or send them to their respective rooms for a period of contemplation and personal reflection, while you and I work at redeeming this Day of Disaster.

Your first assignment is to look back over the day for anything positive. Did most members of the family perform their daily routine of personal hygiene? If not yet, maybe they can still get it completed before bedtime tonight. Was enough food consumed to be considered a meal? If not yet, you can have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a glass of milk for supper or a bedtime snack, covering the four basic food groups in the most basic way.

If a single workbook page was completed, you have made progress. If a single lesson concept was explained or discussed, you have made progress. If a single page of a single book was read, you have made progress. No, it is not a giant leap of progress, it is not a baby step of progress, and it is not at all what you had planned to complete today, but it is progress, nonetheless.

Maybe the dirty dishes piled up to new record heights, but that is probably a good indicator that your family ate today. Maybe your toddler escaped from the house and ran around the neighborhood stripping off his clothing as he went — but that is an indicator that he is mastering the skill of dressing himself. Ok, undressing himself, but it is still a necessary skill in life. Maybe a pipe burst under the bathroom sink and flooded the whole room, but once the proper repairs have been made and the mess is finally cleaned up, that floor will be cleaner than it has been for quite some time. Give yourselves a hearty pat on the back for any subject that was actually completed today. Bonus points will be awarded to any family who completed an entire load of laundry — even if it was only the towels that soaked up the flood in the bathroom. Partial credit will be given for any load that has made it through any single step of the washing-drying-folding-restocking process. Progress is usually present, even in a Disaster Day — but sometimes you have to look closely to find it.

So what about those of you who cannot find even one step of forward momentum in your Disaster Day? There are times when we all must accept the lack of backsliding as a sign of progress. You may not be inching forward, but you are not sliding backward, so, therefore, you are holding your ground. Maintaining your position — that position you worked very hard to achieve — is progress in itself. You may feel like you are just hanging on by your fingernails, but you are still hanging on.

Perhaps sickness has invaded your home, stopping everyone in his tracks. Perhaps you and your family have been pushing yourselves too hard, and this is the only way any of you would get a day of rest. Rest, therefore, and know that your bodies are purging themselves of nasty things and will regain the strength needed to continue on once this vile sickness has passed. Stop reciting the lists of tasks completed by the over-achievers down the block, concentrate on getting well first, and then tackle what you can do, when you can do it.

Perhaps you have been the unwitting victim of some outside influence: a weather-borne disaster, an accident, a death in the family, or another serious, unforeseen disruption. Life happens. None of us can plan for every possible contingency, but each of us can learn from our circumstances and be better prepared for the next time life throws us a curve ball. Becoming better prepared is learning a lesson, and learning a lesson is a sign of progress.

When my children were toddlers, their meals and snacks were often unbalanced combinations of foods. I learned to view their entire day of food intake and balance that, rather than attempt to balance each individual meal for picky eaters. Similarly, when we began homeschooling, I learned to “balance” the entire week of lessons, instead of trying to do everything on each separate day. Some days we did no spelling lessons; some days we did only math. Considering the entire week, we covered all of our lessons. Usually. Once in a while, I had to expand my view to balance two weeks together, but I could see that, in the end, we would still accomplish all of the important things that we needed to accomplish. Our local public school operates on a six-day schedule (don’t ask), proving that not even the “professional educators” can get everything done in a week’s time. Make your plans, do your best, and stop beating yourself up for things you have no control over.

When confronted with a Disaster Day, encourage yourself with these pointers:
1) Look for any signs of progress.
2) Accept the lack of backsliding as a sign of progress.
3) Learn from the Disaster Day and call those lessons a sign of progress.

You can survive a Disaster Day, and you can draw strength from it to tackle tomorrow as the fresh start that it is.

If you still need more encouragement, see:
What Didn’t Work for Today Can Be Changed for Tomorrow
Your Children Will Not Always Be Like This
Homeschooling Is Hard Work
Looking Back on the Bad Days
Topical Index: Encouragement for Parents

A Homeschooler’s View of Education

My view of academics and education changed significantly throughout my years as a homeschool teacher. Once upon a time, I thought of education as something that ended with 12th grade graduation or was extended by some people with a foray into college. During my stint in college, there was an older gentleman whom we younger students joked about as being a “professional student” because he had been taking a class or two each semester for years. I did not realize then that education could be a lifelong endeavor; I just assumed he did not know what he wanted to be when he grew up. Now I can look back at my foolish naivete’ and be grateful that maturity eventually replaces youthful ignorance and its accompanying arrogance.

Education is merely the process of learning, and I continue to learn every day. Learning is learning, whether one is studying a foreign language or making a mental note to avoid the pothole down the block. Learning is the reason why we read the newspaper or watch the local weather forecast on television. We become more educated when we try a new recipe: at the very least, we learn whether or not we want to make that recipe again. Learning, education, and academics take on new, more personal meanings with the advent of homeschooling.

Legal homeschooling in our state required that we submit documents annually to the state Department of Education. One form had boxes to check to indicate your students’ participation in various extra-curricular activities. At first, I viewed those activities in much the same straightforward way that any other educator would. After a few years of homeschooling, however, my viewpoint had shifted, and I began to see things a bit differently — from a homeschooler’s point of view.

Regular library visits? Well, we had never experienced an irregular visit, no matter how infrequently they occurred, so, yes, we planned regular library visits.

Field trips? Yes, we participated in field trips, whether to the grocery store or with more structured, group activities.

Music lessons? Yes, group singing would be taking place at church. There would also be the intermittent “Happy Birthday” choruses and Christmas carols, singing along with children’s videos, banging on the pots and pans, and singing the latest catchy advertising jingles. (It does not have to cost money to be a real lesson.)

Sports activities? Most definitely! You cannot make these children sit still for long! I did not see this as requiring us to join the local soccer club; to me, it could also mean playing horsey with Dad, riding your bike, or splashing in the wading pool — getting off of the sofa and out of the house.

Other planned social experiences? This must have been listed just to satisfy those weirdos who think that homeschoolers never leave the house, but, yes, we did plan to experience society from time to time, and Wal-Mart was typically a melting pot of society in our community.

Another required document was our “plan” for the year’s lessons. I learned to view that with the same earnestness with which I viewed preparation time for dinner each night: we would eat dinner each night, so therefore there would be some type of preparation for it. One night’s dinner may require several hours of hands-on preparation, while another night’s meal may only require phoning the pizza delivery guy. Either way, we ate. Similarly, some lessons received intensive, hands-on preparation, and others were delivered by flipping open a book, but either way, we learned. My Plan of Instruction did not list detailed lesson plans, but did list the approximate amount of time each student would spend per day on each subject (per week for lower grades). [See also Guilt-Free Lesson Plans and Scheduling] If we spent more time or less time on any certain area on any certain day, what did it matter? Some lessons were fast-food snacks, and other lessons were seven-course-meal events. The learning itself was what mattered, not the speed of the delivery, and there were many times when we learned more from the spontaneous, quick-snack lessons than we did from the this-took-me-all-day-to-prepare lessons.

Information of academic importance obviously means different things to different people. Another mandate on our annual report stated that a revised form was to be filed if any of the listed information changed during the year. Throughout the years that my children were enrolled in public school, we were rarely informed of changes to the routine, including some important changes in the staff. After we had been homeschooling for a few years, we were (again) not notified when the district’s Homeschooling Coordinator left on a two-week vacation, leaving a letter of resignation and two weeks’ notice on her desk, a gaping hole in the district’s staff, and many confused families in a state somewhere between shock and limbo — during the busiest time for the district office, the month before the fall semester began. Therefore, based on their precedent, I concluded that most of the changes I could make to our plans would be of minor significance to the district, and I switched textbooks and materials whenever I felt the need to do so, Guilt-Free, without bothering to inform them of such trivial details.

My view of the ideal teaching methods for individual subjects also changed. Once my students were reading well on their own, I allowed their “reading” course to be done in bed at night as a “decompression” time before Lights Out. I found that I was able to monitor their reading ability in their other subjects well enough that I no longer bothered to keep track of their personal, pleasure reading for a “reading class.”

Education, learning, and academics mean different things to different people. “Professional” educators view learning as an activity that takes place under their highly trained supervision. I, as a homeschool educator, see learning as more of a 24 hours a day, 7 days a week pursuit. We do not always need books or plans or even a stone-faced serious attitude in order to come away from something as a smarter person. Education and learning can and do take place in the garage or on the playground, while doing chores or while having fun, early in the morning or late into the night. Education is the process of learning. Learn something every day.

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