Learning to Walk — Seen as a New Lesson

June 3, 2004 by Leave a Comment

Do you remember when you were teaching little Johnny how to walk? He would grip your hands with all his might, rock and teeter on his shaky legs, and wobble forward with one reluctant foot while the other remained behind, planted firmly but not really lending support to the Herculean effort being attempted. Eventually, those little feet learned which direction they were supposed to point, the leg muscles strengthened and coordinated their actions, resulting in step after step after step. Still a few attempts failed, bringing the whole body down with a jarring thud, only to be met with the determination and concentrated effort that propelled little Johnny once again to his feet and across the room to your waiting arms. You scooped him up in a giant bear hug, smothered him with kisses, and squealed with delight, “You DID it! You walked to Mommy! I KNEW you could do it!”

Now apply that picture to the latest lesson you are trying to teach homeschooler Johnny. Assure him that you know he can do this. Hold him tight until he gains his footing — do not let go too soon. Expect a few failures along the way, but do not take them to mean all is lost. Help him back up, dust him off, point him in the right direction, and allow him to try again — even if it means he might fall again. Not one of us here today is walking on our own without countless falls in our past. Success has been simplified to “getting back up,” and so it is with homeschooling. We will all fall. Those of us who have succeeded have simply refused to stay down.

Filed Under: Doing Your "Best", Encouraging Your Student, Homeschool How-To's

Driving My Minivan Is the Closest I Get to the “Homeschool Uniform”

June 1, 2004 by 1 Comment

First, a quick explanation: many tongue-in-cheek jokes have been made by homeschoolers about other homeschoolers (that is allowed, like people enjoying jokes about their own ethnic group). The “homeschool uniform” refers to a denim jumper of mid-calf length, white t-shirt, white socks and tennis shoes, and possibly long hair done up in a bun. Now surround Mom with no less than 5 children (perfectly stair-stepped in heighths) and pack them all into a minivan, Suburban, or other large SUV. Extra points if Mom is pregnant. Obviously, not all homeschool Moms look this way, but when at a homeschool support group meeting or homeschool convention, sometimes it can feel like I am the only one who does not conform! I often joke that driving my minivan is the closest I get to wearing the “homeschool uniform.”

Hopefully, you have chosen homeschooling because you wanted to give your children a customized education, not simply because you were following the latest fad in your neighborhood or church. Whether that means customized for religious beliefs, health requirements, or distance disadvantages, your preference in education has differed from “the norm.” Therefore, strive to find the “educational system” that best fits your family’s lifestyle — please do not adopt trends trying to “look like a homeschooler” or “fit in.”

My daughter recently identified her new college roommate as having been homeschooled, based on the girl’s behavior and lifestyle choices. When asked, the roommate confirmed that she was in fact from a large homeschooling family. It was further confirmed when the roommate’s younger siblings visited the dorm: quiet, respectful, well-behaved children tend to stand out as unusual these days!

By choosing to homeschool, we are standing up against the peer pressure of the government institutions. By homeschooling in our own way with our own chosen methods, we are standing up to the peer pressure of other families. We want to be different from the world, we want to rise higher than the world’s standards, and we want our children to be better than the standard worldly examples. It is not what I wear that makes the difference, it is what I teach my children and how I teach them.

Filed Under: Curriculum Choices, Encouragement for Parents, Homeschool v. Public School, Homeschooling as a Lifestyle

The Socialization Myth, Part 2

May 28, 2004 by 2 Comments

All of you who have been asked why you chose homeschooling over Christian school raise your hands. Aha! I see tentative fingers wiggling all over the blogoshpere! The hopefully well-meaning friend or family member posing the question probably assumed that Christian schools are a desirable place to obtain an education. But ignorance can be fixed. (My apologies to the wonderful, dedicated Christian schools that must be out there somewhere.)

When we were first investigating the alternatives to government school, we checked into our local Christian schools. I was as innocent as the next moron and also assumed that the private schools were brimming with shiny-faced cherubs as eager to learn about Jesus as they were to learn to multiply and divide. I had never stopped to consider what happens to the thugs, bullies, and would-be drug pushers who manage to get themselves expelled from the government institutions — they get put into Christian schools! Their parents (often, parent — singular) consider themselves incapable of dealing with Scarface-Junior and want to “leave it to the professionals.” Must I be the one to remind them that “parent” is also a verb? (This is not to imply that single parents are destined to raise “behavior challenged” children. It does, however, mean that the houligans who get expelled from public school and plunked into Christian school usually have not been raised with two active parents present in the home. — Join me in a round of applause for all the dedicated, single parents who are finding ways to homeschool!)

Time for another show of hands. You have heard: “Without proper socialization, your homeschooled kids will grow up in a bubble and never know what the real world is like.” Wow, no hesitancy that time! Let’s compare environments. Scene 1: Thirty children all approximately the same age, herded together in a crowded room, all doing exactly the same assignment at exactly the same time to exactly the same instructions, day after day, year after year. Scene 2: A handful of children of assorted ages, spread out all over the house and yard, doing independent assignments as they are capable, each lesson tailored to each student’s interests and abilities, with the routine broken frequently for running errands with Mom or attending to family celebrations and/or emergencies. If Scene 1 appears to you to be more of a sterile “bubble” environment and Scene 2 appears to be different every day, every month, every year, then we agree. Homeschooled kids are the ones who truly live in the real world; public schoolers hear about the real world, but do not really experience it until they leave the institution.

Face it — no one can love my child, care for my child, understand my child, or teach my child better than I can. Homeschooling adapts to the idiosyncrasies of life in a way no institution possibly can.

Finally, I will quote from my favorite homeschool T-shirts: “When you’re homeschooled, there’s no telling where you’ll end up,” picturing Mount Rushmore in South Dakota, with the noble faces of Presidents George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln faithfully watching over the horizon of this nation. “Mt. Rushmore: The National Monument to Homeschooling” — ’nuff said. (I haven’t seen this t-shirt in years, and online searches don’t find it either. Sad.)

[For more on this topic, see the articles linked below.]
Socialization and Why You Don’t Need It (The Socialization Myth, Part 1)
The Socialization Code
The Myth of Age-Mates

Filed Under: Homeschool v. Public School, Leaving Public School, Sibling Relationships, Socialization

Socialization and Why You Don’t Need It

May 27, 2004 by 1 Comment
Socialization is what I refer to as “The ‘S’ Word”. It scares off potential homeschoolers, paralyzing their families with fear, and causing their friends and neighbors to look at them with suspicion that they must belong to some political-fringe militia.

In reality, everyone has a socialization problem. Public schools are prime examples of bad socialization. When we took our children out of the government education system, we left behind only the people our children did not like playing with anyway. “Friends” we felt were bad influences could easily be forgotten about. The friends who remained were the ones my children saw most often anyway: church friends, neighborhood friends, soccer teammates, etc.

For the first few years, my daughter got together with her favorite public school girlfriends once or twice a year. That was as often as they all desired to get together, and it was more than enough to show each one how the three of them were drifting apart in their interests. As the girls matured through middle-school age, the public-schooled girls became increasingly “boy crazy” and focused on self-image. My own daughter developed new interests based on her homeschool experiences: reading historical Christian fiction and working with her collection of antique clothing buttons. As we met other homeschooling families, the old friends were gradually replaced with new friends with values similar to ours. It became increasingly obvious to our daughter and to us as parents that we held Family in much higher esteem than did many of our acquaintances. Sibling relationships were considered sacred to us and nothing or no one was allowed to interfere with them — an opposite attitude from the one held by most former-friends’ families. Friends can be highly over-rated; siblings will still be here long after friends move away.

My husband has handled many “socialization” questions from co-workers. Once, when asked, “What do you do about socialization?” he began by simply asking the person if they were referring to “good” socialization or “bad” socialization. That was all he needed to say. The co-worker took that ball and ran with it, saying, “Oh, I know what you mean! My own kid came home the other day, and he told me about what was going on at his school…” The question had been answered, and the distinction had been clearly made in his own mind: there are two types of socialization, and we have control over which type we subject ourselves to.

[For more on this topic, see the articles linked below.]
The Socialization Myth, Part 2
The Socialization Code
The Myth of Age-mates

Filed Under: Homeschool v. Public School, Leaving Public School, Sibling Relationships, Socialization

Too Much, Too Fast = Burnout

May 24, 2004 by Leave a Comment

Do not let anyone guilt you into doing more than you (or your kids) can handle. Burnout comes from too much, too fast. Just because another family is studying Latin, Greek, and Hebrew in Kindergarten, it does not mean that you should, too. It also does not mean that the other family will actually learn anything from it, or continue it to mastery. They may be well on their way to being the next family to give up homeschooling and re-enroll in public school.

The “right way to homeschool” is the way that is comfortable and relaxed and fits your family’s lifestyle. Do not take this business too seriously — make it enjoyable. Homeschooling already far exceeds the standard set by government schools, and Homeschool Burnout is caused by trying to do too much, too soon, to other people’s standards.

Begin by teaching your beginning student to read and count. The simplest methods are often the best: Alpha-Phonics teaches reading just as well as the $200 programs, but for 1/10 of the price. If you find you need flashcards or other manipulatives, make some yourself with your student’s help, or shop your local thrift store and see what goodies can be found there. The Getty-Dubay Italic Handwriting Series was my favorite for very simple-but-elegant penmanship that, incidentally, converts later to cursive with few changes and little difficulty. Pick up a set of Cuisenaire Rods and introduce Miquon Math at 1st grade. If you already have some simple storybooks and a library card, you are now well equipped for the first few years of homeschooling. History, science, geography, health — all those can wait until 4th grade when your student has a confident grasp on reading and is ready for some broader subject matter and a wider look at the world.

Language Arts is a catch-all phrase for reading, phonics, spelling, handwriting, grammar, and composition. My advice is: you know what your child is interested in, and you know what your child is capable of. If little Melissa wants to write stories, by all means let her, even if it means she dictates while you act as scribe. If Scotty gets bored stiff doing workbook pages for spelling or phonics, dig out your old Scrabble game and let him form this week’s words with the letter tiles. “Thinking outside the box” may be a modern cliche, but it definitely applies to homeschooling. Playing with letters/sounds, forming those letters/sounds into words, and grouping the words into sentences is how we all learned to talk. Now it is how your student will learn to read.

Filed Under: Curriculum Choices, Homeschool How-To's

Classic Literature Is Not Necessarily Good Literature

May 21, 2004 by 2 Comments

Yes, Johnny IS reading, but WHAT is he reading? Decide if the subject matter is something you want your student to devote hours and hours to before you assign the book. Many selections being sold today as “must have” children’s books are not anything I would want to have in my home. Contemporary children’s authors seem to think sibling rivalry is to be encouraged, unacceptable behavior is heroic, and deplorable grammar is an effective method of identifying with the reader.

I recently read an advertisement for a children’s museum exhibit featuring a popular cartoon character. The theme of the exhibit was “Reading is Cool.” I happen to disagree. Reading, as an isolated activity, is not necessarily cool. The subject matter could make the reading into a very “uncool” activity. We should be teaching our children not only the skill of reading, but also teaching them the much more important skill of selecting quality reading matter: is this book a good model of grammar usage, or does the author continually “break the rules” in an effort to grab an audience? Is the subject matter worthy of my time, or do the characters run contrary to my family’s standards and values?

Additionally, just because a story has been around for decades does not make it worthy of your time. Many “classics” (as described by literary critics) merely focus on subject matter that no one else had yet dared to tackle, e.g. The Scarlet Letter/adultery. Before taking a recommendation from anyone, know what their standards are. The same standards-screening principle applies to movies, videos, computer games/software, etc. as well as books. Occasionally, I felt the need to read a book myself to determine its worthiness before allowing my student to read it. Not only was it a great use of my time, but it also gave us a wider scope in discussing the book later — plus the student was able to see a parent devouring a book, something all too rare in today’s video-saturated world.

Filed Under: Curriculum Choices, Homeschooling as a Lifestyle, Reading

Give Credit Where Credit Is Due

May 21, 2004 by Leave a Comment

List credit on your student’s high school transcript for non-traditional classes. It may not be a “recognized” curriculum title, but if it is a learned skill that they have developed, it proves they have the ability to teach themselves.

For example, if the student has devoted considerable time to an independent project (stamp-collecting, designing/making beaded bracelets, training horses, digital photo-editing, etc), think up a course title and write an appropriate description for it, listing any reference books as “texts used.” Include out-of-classroom work as well, such as seminars attended, etc. The “course descriptions” page of their transcript will provide the complete explanation. (If you are interested in how to write a transcript, see Transcript Writing.)

Listening to CSN radio (or to your pastor’s Sunday teaching) counts as Bible class; just because you have always listened to it, and would listen to it anyway, does not mean it should be overlooked as a “credit” course. The same applies to AWANAs, Sunday School, Royal Rangers, or similar structured classes your students attend.

Filed Under: Encouraging Your Student, High School, Kinesthetic Learning, Tactile Learning, Transcripts
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