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So You Think You’re Not Smart Enough to Homeschool?

Suppose your child wants a special cake for her birthday. What will you do? A few moms may be practiced in the fine art of baking the perfect cake from scratch, combining flour, sugar, and eggs in the correct proportions to rise to delicious heights without falling. Some moms will grab a boxed mix, whip it up, and top the resulting cake with ready-made frosting and colorful sprinkles. Other moms will simply stop by their favorite bakery and purchase a completed cake. In each case, the problem has been solved, and the birthday will be celebrated.

The same strategy can be applied to teaching in a homeschool setting. You can research topics yourself, much like looking for recipes in a cookbook or online or asking friends to share their favorites. You can collect a few do-it-yourself elements and put together your own curriculum, as with the mom who used the cake mix, canned frosting, and instant decorations. Or you can purchase an assortment of courses fully prepared by someone else, as in the case of the bakery cake.

I have met many people whose reaction to homeschooling is “You would have to be smart to do that!” Knowing what really goes on behind the scenes in homeschooling, my thought is “What is smart?” How intelligent does a person have to be to homeschool successfully? I do not have to know all the answers in order to be a good teacher, I just have to know where or how to find the answers. I do not have to be able to do something myself in order to be able to teach about it.

In my past educational experiences, I have had art instructors who effectively taught me about DaVinci and Rembrandt, but who could not duplicate the works of those masters themselves. I had English instructors who taught me about Shakespeare and Longfellow, but who had never written comparable works. I had history teachers who had done nothing memorable themselves and geography teachers who had never traveled the globe. My science teachers had made no remarkable scientific discoveries, and yet they were able to pass on accurate scientific knowledge. These successful instructors all relied to some degree on the resources and experiences of others.

A successful homeschool teacher is one who is able to impart the material to his or her students. The source of the material is not relevant if no one is able to learn from it. There are homeschool students whose curricula cost hundreds of dollars and students whose books are borrowed for free from the public library, and both learn equally well. There are homeschool teachers who write every page of their own lessons and teachers who read word-for-word from purchased, scripted manuals, and the students of both learn equally well.

If I had waited to begin homeschooling until I felt confident enough in my own knowledge and abilities that I could answer any question my students might ask, well, I would still be studying. In reality, I learned right along with my students. If I became hopelessly confused on some topic, the resources and experiences of others were nearby in the form of other homeschoolers, reference books, internet websites, or packaged lessons. When we encountered an unfamiliar word, we consulted the dictionary together. When we stumbled over a math problem, we worked it out together. When we were stumped by a reference to an exotic location, we leafed through the atlas or did a quick “Google” search together. The bonds created through learning together taught my students more than just new information. My students saw first-hand that learning can be an enjoyable and profitable, life-long process.

If you are intrigued by homeschooling, but feel you may not be smart enough, I encourage you to give it a try. You can supplement your knowledge through the materials you choose, increasing your teaching staff from one (just you) to dozens or even hundreds of experienced and qualified tutors (the authors whose works you consult).

If you currently use pre-packaged curriculum and would like to try your hand at creating a lesson on your own, go ahead and give it a try. There is no Official Omnipotent Homeschooling Rule Book that states you must always continue using the same method with which you started. If you currently are writing all of your own lessons, but find yourself so overwhelmed by recent developments in life that you would really like to try an all-in-one package, go ahead and give it a try. There is no Official Omnipotent Homeschooling Rule Book that states you must always continue using the same method with which you started. That non-existent Official Omnipotent Homeschooling Rule Book also does not prevent you from switching back to your original choices if you find you really prefer them. Variety is the spice of life, and flexibility is the blessing of homeschooling. Take a break, take a chance, and watch the learning continue.

If you are able to create your own lessons out of thin air, God bless you. If you prefer to use pre-prepared lessons purchased from an experienced publisher, God bless you, too. Guilt-Free Homeschooling frees you from the competition for Most Original Lesson Plan and allows you to use the method that works best for you and for your students. How smart do you have to be to be able to homeschool? Just smart enough to use what works.

Carnival of Homeschooling

The latest Carnival of Homeschooling is up and running at Homeschool Hacks. This week’s theme is “The Surgery Edition,” but don’t worry — there’s no blood. Thanks to Shannon for her hard work!

Top 10 Signs You’re Doing a Good Job as a Homeschool Parent

Time is not a factor in homeschooling. Finishing lessons quickly or working on lessons all day long is not an indicator of quality in education. Here, however, are some more important signs that can show that you are doing a great job as a homeschooling parent.

10–Your children think “writing” involves more than a text message on a cell phone.

9–Your children know that the first line of the National Anthem is not “Take me out to the ballgame.”

8–Your children read without being bribed. Or threatened.

7–Your children hear about an interesting science experiment and insist on trying it for themselves, even though they already know the outcome.

6–Your dictionary never collects dust.

5–The TV news mentions a remote country and your children already know where it is located.

4–The TV news mentions a remote country that your children don’t know, and they race each other to the world atlas.

3–People notice that your children get along well with each other.

2–People ask you questions about homeschooling, and your children answer for you.

1–Your children giggle and elbow each other when people ask, “What do you do about socialization?”

“Test Drive” Homeschooling

Many parents wonder if homeschooling could benefit their family. Many parents wonder if they could actually teach their own children. Many parents are tired of the government education system and wonder if homeschooling could be a viable alternative for them. Summer is coming — why not give homeschooling a “test drive”?

Spend some time this summer trying on homeschooling to see how it fits and see how you could make it fit your family. All it requires is the motivation to spend time together as a family, parent(s) with children, exploring, investigating, and learning — together.
–Explore a current interest to new depths
–Learn a new game and get really good at it
–Try a new hobby and learn all you can about it
–Stay up very late, study the stars, and learn about astronomy

Break all the “school” rules and do things the way you would like to do them in your own version of homeschooling. Experiment without using a public school-style format and just pursue your students’ personal interests to see where they will take you.
–Visit the library — often
–Visit a museum — and study your favorite exhibit for a long time, then go back to the library (or home computer) for further research and exploration
–Visit a zoo — and watch your favorite animals for a long time, then go back to the library (or home computer) for further research and exploration

If you think you might like to continue homeschooling, be aware that everyone’s first year of homeschooling is tough, because homeschooling presents an entirely new routine. The hardest way to homeschool is in a way that does not fit your family. Exploring your own interests in the ways you enjoy most will give you a headstart on finding a homeschool method that fits you well.
–Read biographies of intriguing people
–Build projects of your choice, whether model cars or restoring a ’57 Chevy, birdhouses or a family room addition (just do it together, as a family learning experience)
–Visit interesting places, whether nearby day-trips or an extended vacation
–Watch historical or biographical movies or video versions of literary classics
–Play games: board games, card games, dice games, group games, lawn games

Homeschooling is simply learning based from home, with family. It does not have to involve textbooks, memorization, dull facts, or tests. It does not have to occur only between the hours of 8am and 3pm, Monday through Friday. It can be non-stop, fascinating, and positively delightful. Give home-based learning a summer “test drive.” You may be pleasantly surprised!

"2006 Homeschool Blog Awards" Nomination

BLESSINGS to the reader(s) who nominated Guilt-Free Homeschooling for The Homeschool Blog Awards for Best Nitty-Gritty Homeschool Blog. This classification is for the opposite of the Super-Homeschooler, for someone who is “brutally honest and open about her mistakes and failures.” That has definitely been my mission in this blog: sharing my mistakes and failures in the hope that doing so will help you avoid those same pitfalls. MORE BLESSINGS to any readers who click the link above and vote for GFHS!

P.S.
The invitations for Wedding #1 are almost ready to go!

Where Have I Been???

Yes, I am still alive. No, I have not been hospitalized, out of the country, or hopelessly lost in a major shopping mall parking lot. However, I have found myself in the midst of Wedding Season.

For those of you who may be new readers of Guilt-Free Homeschooling, you may not realize from the stories I share that the Guilt-Free children are actually now twenty-somethings who have both (BOTH) decided to get married. This summer. Hence my infrequent presence of late here in Blog World. I have often been swept away from the blissful solitude of my computer to assist with the myriad details that constitute wedding plans. And we are no where near finished yet. The first wedding is less than two months away, with the second to follow in mid-summer.

While I am working on fresh articles whenever I get a day here at home, please use my intermittent attendance to refresh yourselves with a trip through the archives. Re-read your favorites and look for titles you may not be familiar with. A topic that was previously of no interest to you may now fit right in with how your family has grown and changed. I still have piles of material here waiting to be blogged, so do not assume that I could walk away from this endeavor. But if I get overcome in all the confusion and start throwing rice in the wrong direction, duck.

From the Mailbox: Troublesome Students

This is part of a series of articles based on actual questions I have received and my replies to them. Real names will not be used, and I will address my responses to a generic “Mom”; if you are a homeschooling Dad, the advice can usually be applied to you as well. The wording will be altered from the original letters (and often assembled from multiple letters) and personal details will be omitted or disguised in order to protect the privacy of the writers while still maintaining the spirit of the question. If you have a specific homeschooling question that you would like me to address, please write to me at guiltfreehomeschooling@gmail.com. If part of your letter is used in an article, your identity will be concealed.

Dear Carolyn,
I have tried to homeschool both of my children at the same time, but I cannot make it work. They pick on each other, fight with each other, act up, act stupid, act silly, and do everything they possibly can think of to prevent any teaching, learning, or schoolwork from taking place. It is driving me crazy. I can send one or both of them to a Christian school, but my desire is to be able to teach them myself at home. Why can’t I handle this? They are my kids, and I love them dearly, but I can’t get the two of them to cooperate with me at the same time. What am I doing wrong???
–Mom

Dear Mom,
Please consider that my reply is accompanied by a great big hug. I do understand what you are going through, although much of my own similar experiences had been forgotten until your letter dredged up the memories of siblings kicking each other under the table and making faces at each other, disrupting each other’s concentration. I will offer multiple suggestions here, but you can decide what order of trying things works best for your situation.

Set your boundaries for acceptable behavior during class times, and make sure that your children understand what the limitations are. Establish exactly what the consequences will be for crossing those boundaries (I restricted privileges; it worked well for my son), then enforce your rules and reward good behavior. The rewards part is the most important, because no one wants to live in a world of only punishment. Remember, though, that this is homeschooling (not school-at-home), and try not to be overly strict on permissible behavior — relax and enjoy each other. When I made time for a little fun, we enjoyed our days so much more than if I had kept things strict and tedious.

Seating arrangements: My children (at first) sat opposite each other at a table approximately 3’x4′ with benches on the two long sides. Your letter quickly brought back the memories of how they would swing their legs (often without thinking about their actions) and end up kicking each other. I had to enforce a rule of “keep your feet under your own space” — and allow them stretch breaks to get away from our school table and exercise their muscles. Your letter also suddenly reminded me of setting up a visual barrier for a time: I propped up something tall in the middle of the table to prevent them from distracting each other with stares and goofy looks.

Broken Rules: When one of my kiddies did upset the other by breaking the no-kicking rule, I kept the rule breaker at the table with me, and allowed the “good” child to go elsewhere to work on his/her lesson. That way, they did not learn that breaking a rule earned them free time or a privilege or break — it backfired and earned the victim a privilege. However, beware of the sneaky child who can irritate a sibling just enough to force retaliation, making the instigator look like the innocent victim — it happens!

Spread out: Sometimes we moved to a larger space where I could sit between my two children with them both facing the same direction. No more foot contact or eye contact was possible, except through me.

Rewards: I praised them and gave rewards for good behavior, not just punishment for bad behavior. A behavior chart can be beneficial (especially for boys) to track how long each student can go without breaking the rules: how many lesson periods, or minutes, hours, or days. Again, give rewards — perhaps offer home-made coupons or tickets for each successful time period of good behavior and allow the tickets to be traded in for a special treat. Your goal is to establish a pattern of good behavior and turn that pattern into a habit.

Maturity comes with age: Discuss your expectations with your children, one on one, and explain how you expect their behavior to improve as they grow older. Do not underestimate how much your students are growing and maturing by expecting their previous (undesirable) behavior to continue. No one wants to be stereotyped for his entire life, so watch closely for every little sign of improvement in their behavior and praise, praise, praise.

Get the wiggles out: Your most important tool in changing your students’ behavior will be physical exercise. Boys, especially, have a difficult time sitting still for lessons — there are just too many fascinating things in this universe to be explored and investigated. I sent my son out into the backyard to burn off a little steam before trying to sit him down for schoolwork. I gave him frequent breaks to run, jump, and play. A friend had shared with me about sending her children outside to run laps around the house until they were so tired they could not do anything BUT sit still and listen to Mom. It works wonderfully! With a few repetitions of that preparation technique, your students will gladly sit down and behave themselves. Kinesthetic learners need to get their large muscles moving first, just to kick their brain cells into gear, as if their minds cannot process information until their hips and shoulders have been warmed up.

Physical Separation: As your children show ability and responsibility, you can separate them for lessons. If your home situation allows, place one child in the kitchen and the other in the living room, then you shuffle back and forth, giving assignments and checking on their progress. I do not expect you to do this forever — you are trying to teach each child how to work independently. When each one has understood how to do his OWN lessons, then you can begin to bring them back together for short periods and see their behavior improve.

Since your older child will probably spend more time at his lessons each day than the younger one needs to spend, try to stage the schoolwork so that the younger child can entertain himself during the periods when the older one needs your help. Allow the older child to do reading subjects or seatwork in his bedroom (away from his sibling), as he proves himself responsible at independent work, allowing you one-on-one time with the younger student. (Families with more than two students can expand these ideas as needed to suit their circumstances.)

Controlled Togetherness: Try reading aloud to them for together time — some fascinating, mind-stimulating books about mysteries or investigations. Seat them far enough apart to prevent physical contact, and let them use art materials or play with Lego’s quietly while you read to them. I strongly recommend that each child have his own activity during the read-aloud time, not letting them have a chance to quarrel over possession of the Lego’s or crayons. Again, you are trying to teach them how to behave when sharing the same space, so start with them apart and slowly bring them closer together while observing your boundaries of acceptable behavior.

You can do this, Mom. The first year of homeschooling is definitely the hardest, and if this is your first year of schooling both children at home, do not assume it will always be like this. Do not beat yourself up for past failures — learn from them. I was afraid to try homeschooling until my younger child was in 1st grade, simply because he was such an extremist toddler/preschooler that I thought he would consume all of my time and energy. Once he was old enough to sit down and do lessons, things went much better. Make your schedule work in your favor, separate your children when you must, and teach them how to co-exist by using controlled situations. Remember, Mom, our children may have more energy than we do, but we have the advantage of more experience!

For further tips on bringing peace to your homeschool, see the following articles:
Is This “Acceptable Behavior”?
“Parent” Is a Verb
Family Is Spelled T-E-A-M
Siblings As Best Friends
From the Mailbox: Disrespectful kids
Kids Will Be Kids
Spoken Destinies & Learned Behaviors
Teach Your Students to Teach Themselves
Teach Your Children the Art of Amusing Themselves
Your Children Will Not Always Be Like This
Homeschooling Failures I Have Known — and What Can Be Learned From Them
From the Mailbox: Read-Aloud Disruptions

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