NOTE: Extreme sarcasm is present in these comments that have been gleaned from other homeschoolers, actually used ourselves, and/or are being held in reserve, awaiting the right moment. Our sincere thanks and admiration goes out to those intrepid souls whose remarks we have shamelessly borrowed.
So what do you do for socialization???
20. “Nothing. We just sit on the couch all day, staring at the wall.”
19. “I don’t believe in socialization.”
18. “With our large family, I usually say, ‘If you come down to breakfast in this house, you’re socializing!’”
17. “I’ve seen the village, and I don’t want it socializing my children!”
16. “Socialization? That is why I homeschool.”
15. “Socialization is the easy part. I just corner the kids in the bathroom every few days and steal their lunch money.”
14. “Oh, right, because (obviously) spending years with no one but her own family really hurt Laura Ingalls Wilder.”
13. “New studies show that, contrary to popular mythology… the average home-schooled child has no problem ‘socializing’ with other children… as long as he remembers to use smaller words and shorter sentences.” (From the Mallard Fillmore comic strip, 6/14/2005)
12. “The last thing I need is what you call socialization.”
11. “What you consider to be socialization is what Karl Marx endorsed as Communism.”
10. “We want our kids civilized, not socialized.”
9. “I’m not relying on the state to socialize my kids.”
8. “I prefer to have my kids learn to deal mostly with adults. The bullying you learn in middle school is only beneficial for bullying other middle schoolers.”
7. “What swear word do you think my kids don’t already know?”
6. “Are you worried about the quality of the education my children will get at home? Perhaps you should be more concerned about the type of education your children are getting in public school.”
5. “Well, I guess I can teach my kids how to swear, and my wife can make them wait in line for the bathroom.”
4. “You don’t go to school—how do you socialize?”
3. “You mean because we live in a cave, never go to a store, a restaurant, or a doctor’s office, never go to church, never visit friends or family, and basically avoid all contact with other human beings? How is it then that I’m talking to you?”
2. “Do you mean good socialization or bad socialization? Because it works both ways.”
1. “Do you mean, ‘Do I think my children are missing out on something by not being in public school?’ Yes, they are definitely missing out on some very important things. They are missing the explicit, X-rated vocabulary from the playground, bathrooms, school bus, and every other unsupervised moment; the sexual harassment in the lunchroom on hotdog day; and the physical, mental, and emotional abuse from the little extortionist in the next desk who used to beat my child for the correct answers whenever the teacher’s back was turned. My children do miss out on those things by not being in public school, and that is exactly why we are homeschooling!”
These responses can all be summed up by a conversation my son had with his driver’s education teacher, a high school track coach who had worked with both public-schooled and homeschooled students. The coach was concerned that homeschooled students were ahead in some areas and behind in others. Curious, my homeschooled son asked in which areas the homeschoolers were behind. “Socialization,” came the confident reply. Pressing still further, my son prompted the coach to explain exactly what the homeschoolers lacked. “My other students have been here for a long time, and they all know each other. When a homeschool student comes in for the first time, they don’t know anyone here.” My son’s emphatic response was, “When have you ever gone somewhere for the very first time and known anyone there? And how is that a lack of socialization?” He’s going to be a great homeschool Dad some day.
For more insight on the issue of Socialization, see these articles:
Socialization and Why You Don’t Need It (a.k.a. The Socialization Myth, Part 1)
The Socialization Myth, Part 2
The Myth of Age-Mates
The Socialization Code
Bullying
Guilt-Free Homeschooling is the creation of Carolyn Morrison and her daughter, Jennifer Leonhard. After serious disappointments with public school, Carolyn spent the next 11 years homeschooling her two children, from elementary to high school graduation and college admission. Refusing to force new homeschooling families to re-invent the wheel, Carolyn and Jennifer now share their encouragement, support, tips, and tricks, filling their blog with "all the answers we were looking for as a new-to-homeschooling family" and making this website a valuable resource for parents, not just a daily journal. Guilt-Free Homeschooling -- Equipping Parents for Homeschooling Success!
What an awesome post. I can’t wait to have my daughter read this. She is 13 and in 8th grade. She is a champion level competitive Irish dancer who has dance practice 6 times a week. There is one particular mother that makes insensitive comments frequently about this particular subject to my daughter on a regular basis. My daughter gets very upset when this happens. She’ll make comments to me about what she’d like to reply to this mom, but won’t because she’d never speak out of turn to an adult. When we are in the car on our way home from dance practice my daughter will say “Mom, I wanted to say, No I don’t get enough socialization, that’s why I talk in guttural responses to questions, and fling my poo like monkey does.” Or she’ll point out that she is the youngest of 5 children, one of 52 grandchildren on her dads side, she has friends who do attend public school outside of dance. This particular mom has a daughter the same age as mine who goes to a school of the arts and is less socialized and socially awkward than my child. My daughter is a social butterfly, she no longer has to come home from public school crying because of the “MEAN GIRLS” . My kid is HAPPY and well rounded.
We seem to get lots of comments about this. I figured when my daughter is going to the college of her choice and following her dreams, (bliss) that will be the best way to throw it all back at the haters. I’ll definitely be remembering some of your comebacks. Just hilarious. Thank you for the true but eye opening comebacks.
HUGS,
Kim Hogan
I’ve started researching homeschooling my four year old for kindergarten. My first thought when a well meaning family member asks “What about socialization?” is that I want my child to learn how to socialize through how we treat each other as a family. After 10 years of working in the schools, kids don’t learn good socializatin from other kids without adult mediation. I also said to my mom “Look how well kid-only socialization worked in the book “Lord of the Flies.”!
Thank you for posting this because we wish to home-school our son and this question seems to be the very first that comes up. I get defensive because even my cousin-In- law immediately gave an ugly face after my telling her…she only prepared me for more of them. haha. My husband and I agree entirely with these responses, thank you for boosting my confidence.
Love this! Great read.
My favorite comeback: If kids need to be in school in order to socialize, how do they manage to socialize during summer vacation?
In all charity, snarky responses might make us feel better sometimes but at what expense? I’ve found it much more beneficial all around to speak with love and knowledge to those that make the ignorant (truly ignorant because people just parrot the comments they’ve heard without thinking) comments about socialization. They REALLY don’t know the answers and haven’t thought about them! The goal is to draw others to a great way of educating our children and a great way of life.
I begin by gently telling them, with a warm smile, that socialization is the biggest joke in the home school community. When else in life will you interact only with people of your own age? My kids don’t ask other people how old they are before considering their friendship. They’ve learned wisdom from the adults they spend time with and enjoy having conversations with them. I acknowledge the fact that there are kids in school (I don’t think this is just a public school issue) who are friendly and enjoy conversation but that many kids don’t give adults the time of day or make eye contact unless they can’t avoid it. Some do so lets be fair.
I talk about the positives of socialization with all people and about the adult classes my kids have taken with me. They could hear all of the discussion, sometimes quite lively, with the adults around them. We could discuss and discern the ideas and arguments that were brought up and reason through them together. They have several friends from those classes ranging from mid-20s to mid-70s. How cool is that?
Were any of your relatives afraid you’d have weird homeschooled kids? Mine were! I ask them if they knew weird kids in school – of course they did! Then I reminded them that we’re all weird to someone! Also, if we think someone is weird aren’t we elevating ourselves above them? As Christians (though not all homeschoolers are) shouldn’t we raise our kids to get rid of that idea? Socialization is also learning to treat all people with respect and dignity.
I’ve come to realize that when I feel threatened, I get defensive. When I get defensive or offended, I can get snarky. What if I choose to see inquiries as honest questions rather than insults and direct insults as opportunities to educate another person on the beauty and joy of homeschooling, even if the person began with ill intent? I give people the positives that have come to my family and share the triumphs we’ve had. I want people to want to join the party not snub it because I reacted negatively to them. I don’t want to come off as better than them because I chose to home school and they didn’t. Didn’t yet! If I handle it right, they just might look into it further or at least gain new respect for those that did choose it.
In short, join the discussion and use it to love on others, I’m willing to bet the results will be much more positive!
#21…”I socialize my dog, I educate my children.”